The Rant That Thought It Was a Chronicle  

cuteNEway 42F
1774 posts
4/26/2006 3:08 pm

Last Read:
4/27/2006 2:52 pm

The Rant That Thought It Was a Chronicle

This was an incident that occurred in June 2005

OK so this morning I leave my apartment with just enough time to get to work without being late. Of course the train station is closed so I can’t take the train (fuckin J train coño!!!). Needless to say there were never any signs posted to let the commuters know what was going on (fuckin MTA coño!!!). So I see that there are shuttle buses to the station where the train can be taken and I try to flag one down. Of course they refuse to stop (fuckin shuttle coño!!!).

Obviously upset, I decide that it would be a good idea to take a cab to work (with no money in my purse of course), where I would get my check, cash it, pay the cabbie and get to work on time (9: 00). Sounds logical and simple doesn’t it? Sure it does, it makes perfect sense. It makes perfect sense everywhere except in Queens! Queens (which will hereafter be called “Home” and Manhattan (which will hereafter be called “The City” are 20 minutes apart by car if you take the right route. And this is where it gets ugly.

I hail a cab. I tell the cabbie in TWO languages that I need to be in The City and that I am extremely late. He begins our journey after I tell him the address and I, fool that I am, trust his cabbie instincts and close my eyes for I am weary (cute drama, no?). Ten minutes later my eyes flutter open expecting to see the Williamsburg Bridge. They expect to absorb sights that will tell my brain, “it’s OK we’re almost there.” But what I see, what my eyes have told my brain is VERY different, “WHAT THE FUCK!!! NORTHERN BLVD!?!?!?!?!”

Northern Blvd, people, is what recon experts would call GOING THE WRONG FUCKIN WAY (yes that’s a technical term)!! I tell the cabbie that I’m going to The City, he says I know, I say where are we, he says I don’t want to pay the toll on that bridge so we’re taking this other one, I roll my eyes and think too late what the hell. I go to sleep again. He wakes me to tell me that we are in The City and that I have to tell him where to go. This however was useless because he wouldn’t listen to me any way.

I tell him: stay left, he goes right. I tell him: go, he stops. I tell him: don’t turn, he does…and so it goes…~deep sigh~ and an OY VEY!!! I finally get to my workplace at 9: 02 and I run downstairs to get my check and I give my boss the short version of this story and as I’m running out she asks me can I not wait til lunch and I tell her I have no money, unless she could spot me the cash til I got my check cashed…she says go. So I run back up to where the cab is and I tell him where the check cashing place is. It opens at 9: 00. Every day. Except today.

Blessed with the gift of technology and the intelligence necessary to understand it, I use my cellular internet to find the nearest check cashing place. Thankfully it was only a few blocks away and also opens at 9: 00. It is now 9:20. We pull; up to the place and that’s right kids…CLOSED!! An employee is out front apologizing for her employer for being late. He then arrives at 9:30 without an apology and when asked for one he says that it’s not really his fault (fuckin Ricans coño!!!)

So with cash finally in hand I get back in the cab and head on back to work. This is another ordeal. I work on 5th Avenue and 45th Street. I was at Madison and 41st Street (one avenue east and 4 streets south). He got all the way to 3rd Avenue and 38th Street (4 avenues east and 7 streets south) to go back to 5th and 45th. I paid the cabbie and went inside. I swiped in at 10: 02.

So the moral of the story is: If you’re gonna be an hour late just take the train because taking a cab to not lose $12 will cost you $60 plus the $12 you were trying not to lose. (yeah I know…OUCH!).

rm_Marcutie 40M

4/27/2006 1:24 pm


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