My Baby Daddy  

cuteNEway 42F
1774 posts
7/4/2006 7:38 pm

Last Read:
7/14/2006 6:40 am

My Baby Daddy

For today's muse. Thank you for sharing

It pisses me off that there are men out there that actually WANT to be fathers and these men have women in their lives or in the children's lives impeding this!!! Then these same women say shit like "Deadbeat fucker" because he isn't around to interact with the kids.

In my case, I wasn't going to tell my twins' dad he was gonna be a daddy because my instinct told me he wouldn't step up and accept his responsibility. And I was right. After much convincing by my mother, I finally told him. He saw the babies twice in their first week of life and then wanted a paternity test. Something that was never done.

Suddenly, this "man" disappeared. The kids have my last name. Now I have to lie to my kids and tell them that daddy loves them but he has alot going on right now. Anything I tell them will break their little hearts.

My point is to all you women...No matter what the circumstance, if a man is trying to be a father of his own free will, don't stop him. If it's YOUR baby and you resent him, do NOT keep him from being there for your [and his] baby. Cuz I'm sure you'll GLADLY say, "well its your baby too" when it comes to child support, right?

If it's another woman's child, don't let your anger toward his past or an indiscretion while with you prevent a child from having a father. That will just make him resent you in the long run.

In conclusion, when there is a child involved, no matter the child's age, PLEASE check your feelings before preventing two lives from being richer, before breaking a child's heart and a father's spirit. Let a man be a father.

imLadyBambi 59M/51F

7/4/2006 8:27 pm


On behalf of those who need clarity of thought or validation, thank you for that posting.

Lady Bambi

NickRules999 40M
9464 posts
7/4/2006 8:59 pm

Excellent post.

Anyone can be a father, but there are only a few who actually want to be a dad. Personally, I don't see how any man would abandon his own children. It sickens me.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

lovemetouchme5 52F
2102 posts
7/4/2006 9:37 pm

Thank you for doing this for Spunky! I think he would have been a great dad!

countryheart_71 46F
8081 posts
7/4/2006 11:03 pm

I agree with you Cute!


MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
7/4/2006 11:22 pm

Oh, the INSTANT he said he wanted a paternity test, I would have filed for him to have to pay child support. Let the court order one when he got into court and said, "she slept with me, who knows who else?" Judges love hearing shit like that...

I still think this man should be paying child support. When guys like this are let off the hook that easily, they take it as permission to go out and do the same to as many other women as they can.

digdug41 50M

7/5/2006 2:30 am

Cute thanks for sharing this, I went through a parenting class with a bunch of guys who were there for child support issues and it was quite hostile to say the least and one guy who wanted to spend time with the child but the mother kept playin him til her found out after fourteen years it wasnt his child he was heartbroken and he let it be known, I guess adults have to remeber to keep the kids out of there feelings because it took the two of them to make that child so that child should have both parents whenever the situation warrants it

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

free2chose2 67F

7/5/2006 7:24 am

Great post CuteN, and I agree wholeheartedly about the child support. We all know that money doesn't compensate for the time,attention,life lessons a "Father" could share but it does keep from having to delay the new pair of shoes,music lessons,camp etc:

Don't worry, be Happy

sexyariesgirl 58F

7/5/2006 3:50 pm

WONDERFUL post!!!!!!!

Power To FOK

kitchenfun1234 45M
1797 posts
7/6/2006 11:11 am

Great post and I totally agree.

Don't ever give up searching for the fun in life.

curvymeli 40F

7/8/2006 10:13 pm

This is a great post. People really need to grow up out there and put their kids before their personal problems.

rm_chanda69 49F
418 posts
7/12/2006 8:57 pm

been meaning to get here & read some of yours, & now i know i'll be back!
as a single mom of 5!!! including twin girls.. don't let the trail get cold! get after him NOW!!!! my daughter is 15, child support has been "looking" for him since birth, & now they found him- in jail. but during the time he disappeared, he did construction under the table or with a fake SS#, making $25. hr in the 90's, & selling a house left to him by his dad. had i been getting child support then, i wouldn't have been roofing houses by day, & bartending at night.
as for what to tell them, when my oldest was 3, she asked me why everybody else in her class had a daddy but she didn't.(church preschool) i told her i hadn't found anybody good enough to be her daddy yet. when she understood enough to ask about her father,(16 &17, we split up @ 6 mo) i told her he was afraid he wouldn't be a good daddy to her, so he set me free to find someone good enough for her. still haven't found him; found a lot of assholes though. but now, shes getting to know her father for the first time,(@20)& they are doing great! had i let my bitterness about him trying to get me to abort(she still doesn't know) or feelings of abandonment get in the way, she would have grown up hating him, & the damage done to her would be mine.
sorry this went on so long especially in a first comment. this just touches home...



cuteNEway 42F

7/13/2006 4:55 am

Chanda that is amazing! I've been RACKING my brain trying to think of what I can tell my kids when they ask. What you said was GREAT! I also do NOT want to badmouth their father. It's traumatizing for a child. I know this because my grandmother used to do it all the time in front of my sis and me.

Daddy was always around but sometimes couldn't pay. Thing is he wasn't all that good to Mom. Mom NEVER said an ugly word bout Daddy til we were old enough to understand the dynamics of a relationship.

About going long, not a problem at all. This forum IS after all abour expression!

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