i am perplexed  

curiousinlorain7 60F
15358 posts
6/23/2006 7:50 pm

Last Read:
7/30/2007 3:57 am

i am perplexed

So, the question I purpose to all of you in 'blogland' is this... a simple short question...How long does/should it take to forget all the crappy lies my ex told me about myself daily?

playtime44uandi 54M
6545 posts
6/24/2006 8:25 am

I think thats differant for everyone. Just like getting over them, it takes time to get over what they said. But if he said anything about you not being attractive, I'll tell you right now thats one you can get over cause your very attractive to me!

~We'll Leave The Light On~

rm_whynotty3 58M
24 posts
6/24/2006 9:47 am

Hi Curious,
Don't forget them, but learn from them. I bet your a better and stronger person afterwards. As long as you know the real story and your closest friends are still ther the pain will go away. Good luck.


curiousinlorain7 60F

6/24/2006 11:18 am

Thanks for the very nice comments...

rm_smosmof2 68M
3240 posts
6/24/2006 7:03 pm

Of course the obvious answer is that the answer to your question depends on you... How quickly are you able to reprogram yourself.

I'd ask myself the following questions:

How trustworthy was the information your spouse gave you about everything else? How much did you trust his information in general?

How much was he able to accept his own flaws, or was everything that happened to him someone else's fault?

Depending on your answers to these questions, you might find it a lot easier to disregard any misinformation that he fed you...

And thanks for stopping by my place and leaving a comment. Happy one month anniversery for your own blog...

curiousinlorain7 60F

6/24/2006 9:21 pm

Well smosmof2 first of all you are welcome for my stopping by your blog, and thanks for my one month congrats...as for the other well now, the answer to that would be another month worth of blogs just one little thing though, that you forgot...not so much how trustworth his 'information' was...if life shows what he told me was true his words then come back to haunt...

curiousinlorain7 60F

6/25/2006 4:18 am

Thank you Dusty...lovely getting the UK prospective...hugs to you ty for the pic compliment.

ThrumMyoidWomen 62M
425 posts
6/25/2006 6:28 am

curious don't worry about all the lies the ex told you ,live each day to your fullest an don't worry about what the ex says thats why he's the ex , be your own person and have fun doing what ever you like to do just be yourself an everything else doesn't matter

lovemetouchme5 52F
2102 posts
6/25/2006 6:49 am

Getting out of the same situation that you are in, I sometimes ask myself the same questions. I had four years of verbal, psychological and eventually physical abuse. So how long should it take? Remember they were lies! It might take a while, but if you keep your head high and think how special YOU are, you're already half way there. I look back over the years that my ex and I were together and think about how often he would say things just to hurt me. Deep down I knew they weren't true, but at the time, it was hard to feel anything but hurt. The one thing I have learned from this whole experience, is keep my eyes open, pay attention to the words people say, and guard my heart. No one is going to do this to me again!

rm_Smile_My_Way 60M
1519 posts
6/25/2006 8:04 am

I'm guessing here; I think you will stop thinking about your ex soon after you meet the your love of your life.

Parrothead_2001 53M

6/25/2006 8:58 am

Since you know they were all lies, what difference is it that you remember them or not? IMO knowing the lies is better - next time you will not fall for them again.


curiousinlorain7 60F

6/25/2006 9:12 am

I believe that every life we touch we effect. Sometimes that effect is minimal, sometimes huge. That's why I do try to make positive changes not negative ones. I've been blessed with some pretty cool blog friends that have touched my life in positive ways so, in the vernacular of today A SHOUT OUT TO...smile,lovemetouchme,dusty, and playtime...who seem to continue to life my spirits

rm_Smile_My_Way 60M
1519 posts
6/25/2006 2:03 pm

We hear you, always glad to help. Hang in there, each day will get better.

playtime44uandi 54M
6545 posts
6/26/2006 5:04 pm

Oh curious your such a sweetheart!
I'm glad I can be of some help to you. Thats what its really all about anyway isnt it? xoxoxo

~We'll Leave The Light On~

curiousinlorain7 60F

7/1/2006 6:39 pm

    Quoting rm_fotogod:
    It takes 2 weeks to break a habit. So i say 2 weeks and don't look back. Looking back is bad for the mental health.
so then 3 years is way too long?

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