Needed to get it out  

curious082385 32F
4230 posts
4/30/2006 2:57 pm

Last Read:
5/4/2006 11:31 pm

Needed to get it out


You hurt me today. Ripped open old wounds. Brought it all back. But how could you have known? How could you have seen? You didn't bother to look back, or take a second glance. Just the cold shoulder, flippant words. But it doesn't matter. Even if you had looked back, you wouldn't have seen the desolation. My eyes would be cold, the only sign of distress, but you never took the time to learn to tell the difference. But my voice would have been light, my laugh free as I quickly assured you that it was ok. While inside I would have been screaming, fingers raking at self-built walls.

But you didn't look back anyway.

Just went on your merry way. Shut off and forgot so quickly. I remember the fervent words you spoke, telling me that I was different, special, anything but forgettable. Lips twist in a bitter smile now...how quickly you forgot your own words too. It was too much, so you ran, trying to put as much distance as possible between us, turned your back on everything. On dreams and possibilities. And now you run faster, returning to and becoming everything you swore you hated and would never be.

Do you remember the night we danced? Do you smile when you look back? Or do those memories hold no shine for you now?

Hateful and ugly words. Pain. Lies. The sharp sting of betrayal. Hot whip of anger. You wanted to use me as a scapegoat. Point the finger and leave the blame resting on my shoulders. Convince yourself of my guilt so you can walk away with a clear conscious. If that is how you want it, fine. I won't fight you or deny it. In your arrogance, you'll call it weakness and say I'm avoiding a confrontation, but I know the truth. And somewhere you do too. So vent your anger, your pain, your confusion...let me carry it so you don't have to. It's the last thing I can do for you and the only gift I'm allowed to give.

Seriously_Real 49M

4/30/2006 3:03 pm

That's it, baby. That's it....let it out...let it go...and shut off the Memory Machine. Shut it down. It means to do you harm. Kill it.

We're here for all of the stages. I'm here and you know where to find me sweetie. Let it all out now....

--Seriously (giving you the warmest silent hug you've ever had)


curious082385 replies on 5/2/2006 3:20 am:
*leans against Seriously's shoulder and takes a few deep breaths*

seek_u_topia 52M

4/30/2006 3:21 pm

I'm sorry things aren't good. I'm sure the wounds are painful, but they will heal and you'll recover and surely learn and grow from the experience, though of little comfort now. Know you have friends here to vent to and shoulders to lean on. Hang in there sweetie.


curious082385 replies on 5/2/2006 3:21 am:
Sometimes venting is the best cure. I just needed to get rid of a bit of anger. Thank you.

carebearluv2 43F

4/30/2006 6:14 pm

I'm here for you, as always, I am here. We will find a way to connect...until then, get it out so you can let it go. I am sorry you are troubled my friend.


curious082385 replies on 5/2/2006 3:23 am:
I know that you are and thank you for that. Just knowing that someone is there is a comfort.

rm_Bct2Esi 52M/51F
1375 posts
4/30/2006 6:16 pm

HOLY COLORADO Do I need to go and kick some hiney? You know I would go there for you

Those that run and don't look back, never do sweetie Its a sad reality of the cold hearted ones. They put you on a pedastel and then when their needs are satisified, they run without a second look back Remember this....since I had this happen to me many, many years ago. One day, he will hear that song, and all that shoveling that he did to burry the memory will find its way out. He will be slapped with reality and then with all hope he will return. With apology in hand and want it all back as if he had never left.

I pray that when that day comes, you have found your SPRKY, and are so sickenly happy, he then knows what it feels like to have somone who means the world to him, YOU, walk away with out a second look back That my friend is the greatest feeling of relief that can happen

Until then, please know that I am hugging you, giving you my shoulder to cry on, and kicking hiney if you would like

Hugs, smooches, luvs and smiles girlfriend


onelittlesecret 34M
1579 posts
4/30/2006 8:20 pm

Very intense.

Moving through the darkness
with such delicate grace
your soft fingers touch me
that I might linger in this place...

to join with you in rhythm
the rhythm of your soul
that through the sacred bond
two beings might be whole...

as I try to stay in-step
I find you following my lead
movements driven by desire
to satisfy each other's need...

a reflection of your heart
such a dress of pure white
how it felt against my skin
I could never forget you
and that special night.


Hope you're doing alright.


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
4/30/2006 9:12 pm

For many of us, that's what these blogs are for.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


Nightguy_1961 56M
4866 posts
4/30/2006 10:47 pm

Remember, a memory is only a shadow...a ghost....dust that cannot harm or hurt you...unless you let it....

Write if you need to vent, okay?

NG61


sassybelle21 33F  
13313 posts
4/30/2006 11:39 pm

You know, sometimes not only memories hurt. It hurts when the whole situation is taking place back then or at present time. You can have my heart if that will make you happy girlie.


bulging_boy 50M

5/1/2006 3:31 am

(((curious)))


Fox4aKnight1 44F

5/1/2006 4:01 am

hugs and

*Poke*
[post 329761]
LOL enjoy ....and \if ya wanna join in just go to the link gf ......and go poke someone else and post who ya poked there. LOL though i8 imagine .....the guys will be wanting to be doing the most poking


dasher121 37M

5/1/2006 6:52 am

nah, thats no gift curious and you know it. you shouldnt have to shoulder someone elses short commings. you shouldnt let those things weigh you down.

rise up above it all, shrug it off, and when you float high and away shout back

"GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!"

TheDude.


GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
5/1/2006 12:41 pm


~hugz~

~ and sum sparez ~


StillSmokin2oo6 45M/44F

5/1/2006 8:32 pm

Wow,,truly sorry,,,have to agree with Dasher on this one!!


Choozmi 51M

5/2/2006 2:38 pm

The most important thing is for you to emerge from this experience with your capacity to love intact.

Don't ever let anyone take away your ability to love and nurture yourself and others.

If you build a protective wall around yourself you might avoid getting hurt like this ever again but you will also avoid the joys of love.

Don't build the wall. Instead, believe in your ability to heal. You can heal yourself. Life will deal you many more body blows like this one -- particularly if you allow yourself to be vulnerable (and therefore allow yourself to love and be loved) -- and you can survive them all.

If you were good to the person who walked away (and I'm certain you were) then the moment he actually allows himself to remember you and what you two shared he will realize the mistake he has made. He might never get to that point, or he might.

Meanwhile, you need to take care of yourself and treasure (and preserve) your own capacity for love because someday you will have people in your life (they may be there now) who can appreciate your love and return it.

I also agree with the other gentleman's comment that it's not such a good idea to take on this person's anger, pain, and confusion. Accepting such burdens won't help them and it certainly won't help you.


toothysmile 51M
16517 posts
5/3/2006 6:27 am

time heals all wounds...
breathe...


aascrompn 43M
6444 posts
5/4/2006 10:09 am

I'm sorry curious... There is really nothing I can say except that I've been where you are now. It hurts really badly. *Hugs??*


Become a member to create a blog