Ahhh, the dreaded neighbor  

creatingstalkerz 39F
21 posts
8/6/2006 1:12 pm

Last Read:
12/12/2006 1:25 am

Ahhh, the dreaded neighbor

So my neighbor asked me a couple of weeks ago...knocked on my door, and was all sweaty and nervous and shit. Okay, I've had one conversation with this guy for like 15 minutes when he first moved in and that was it. And he did the creepy peek-over-the-wall-that-separates-me-and-you type deal to introduce himself as I smoked a cigarette in my backyard. That was creepy instance #1. #2 was when he invited me over for a glass of wine that was followed by a polite smile and no thank you as in my head I thought "oh HELL no." I saw him bring groceries home and I'm sorry, call me Snotty Magoo, but I refuse to drink wine that can be carried in a box and poured out of a spout that is attached to the box. Other than that, it's just the usual and polite hi and bye as I'm on my merry ol' way peeling out of my garage or bumping my music so there leaves no room for a conversation starter. So he's standing there and I don't even know his name and he's asking me out - and knocking on my door to do so. So I'm uncomfortable as hes standing there because 1.) I was not dressed appropriately to have people knocking on my door (who the hell knows where I live? NO ONE) and 2.) damn it, Im in the middle of catching up on Entourage. So he's like" Hey C (oh whut, he remembers my name!), so I was wondering if we could maybe grab a bite to eat one night at one of these restaurants over here (he points in a random direction)...I've been meaning to ask you this for awhile now...not sure if you're seeing anyone or what your situation is, but I just wanted to ask you, we can talk and shoot the breeze...." and this is followed by a long silence from me, then a nervous laugh, and then "Ummm, so can I think about it and get back to you?" forcing my biggest fake smile ever and knowing very well I'm leaving early for Vegas the next morning for a week...and he's like "Um, ok sure...." and before he could say anything else, Im like "Ok thanks, bye!" Door shut and locked instantly.

So I go to Vegas and come back. And a couple of days later, this happens: C is trying to come home from a long day at work and starts to pull into the driveway and sees what's his name standing outside chillin w/ his garage door open. He's always outside w/ his garage door open and this is when I usually wave hi & bye. But this time Im like fuck fuck fuck! not wanting to talk to anyone or be confrontational about anything. I mean all I had to say was thanks but no thanks and be on my way. But no, even that was too much effort for me at that moment. So I see him out of the corner of my eye and I know he saw me. And what does my mutherfucken punk ass do? U-TURN, flip a bitch!!! I get my mail, scramble for my cell phone and pretend I'm on the phone and turn right around like I had to go back to wherever I came from. As soon as I saw him see me leave, I was like "Fuck! I'm such a punk ass bastard..." So I go to this parking lot right by my house and am sitting there smoking a cig laughing at myself b/c I'm so fucking lame. I'm thinking "I'm a strong ass independent woman...a PHENOMENAL woman (just saw Beauty Shop, girl) why am I punking out right now??" So I call all my friends I have to share with someone how fucking lame I'm being at this very point & time. So after like 10 minutes, I go back. Neighbors garage door is closed, and he was nowhere in sight. Why did I feel like I just stabbed someones kid?? I felt soooo bad. And now I noticed he's literally NEVER outside anymore, where as before, he ALWAYS was. Poor fucking thing, now he feels like he can't even be his own man, in his own skin, in his own house and do whatever the fuck he wants - enjoying the outdoors and whatnot because his stoopid skank of a neighbor who he hit on, makes him feel uncomfortable now! So I finally get up the nerve to knock on his door like 2 days later - and that asshole wasn't home. Oh well, there went his chance to be turned down sweetly and politely....and what's funny is that the next night, I heard him straight BUMPING "WILD THING" so loud it was vibrating my walls. Hopefully he was getting some major ass from some jungle bunny promiscuous girl who gives him what he needs...

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
8/6/2006 2:31 pm

He is a strange one.

Purry {=}


unknowingforever 32F

8/7/2006 6:04 am

At least you dont have the nosy old lady nacross the hall who watches you out of her peep hole. I swear if she asks me one more time who the gentleman caller was that my roommate or I had over the night before was I am going to scream!!!

creatingstalkerz 39F

8/7/2006 11:50 am

SOMETIMEZ...YOU JUS GOTTA FIND THE HUMOUR IN SHYT...laugh that shyt off and everytime u see her, jus keep n laughing! hahahaha please believe, she will start to fukn wonder if your all fukn thur...haha and thats easier to "espleng" than who tha hell ur fukn which is entirely none of her fat rats azz's business! lmfao

rm_ninja9273 44M
60 posts
8/12/2006 11:43 pm

Dats sum funny shit! Haha!

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