Friendship, Kindness and AFF...  

crazyname67 50M
200 posts
10/2/2005 4:36 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Friendship, Kindness and AFF...

I was reading a post on here yesterday and was alarmed by how harsh one of the contributors were to another individual who had responded to their thread. I could understand their frustration, but I wondered if their response would have been so harsh if that person fit inside the criteria of what they were looking for (and if the individual didn't happen to be an overweight 41 year old male). I visited the contributor's profile and saw that they considered themselves to be "thoughtful, considerate and selfless". And I suppose they are, if you happen to be the kind of person they're looking for. It made me think today about the kind of world we live in, and how easy it is to be nice to people who we think can do something for us. I suppose it's just human nature to want to put our best foot forward when we're hoping to get something we want. Salespeople come across like they're you're best friends when you enter their store, but if you were to accidently pull in front of them in the parking lot, would they be so kind? Or would they just cuss you out, cause you inconvenienced them? One thing I've learned over the years in observing the dating scene is to carefully watch people on how the treat others. This will tell you a lot about their character. My wife and I USED to be into watching the bachelor and other dating spinoff shows, and one thing that always puzzled me was how often there would be girls on there who would be the sweetest thing to the bachelor, but total bitches with all the other women. And what boggled my mind is that many of them, didn't see a problem with that. They'd say something like, "we didn't come here to make friends, we just want a relationship". Well thankfully most of the bachelors had enough common sense to pick this up and would move on to find other women. People who only care about people who can help advance their own interests are generally takers in life and I'm generally wary of those sorts of people. They can often come across as whinsome and great, but can screw you over in a second. It's sad though, because when I look around our world, I long to find more true kindness. People who aren't takers but are givers. People who genuinely care about the well being of others even if it doesn't advance their cause.

I saw an older man walking on the side of the street today in the rain carrying a gas can, he looked pretty rough around the edges and I don't generally pick up hitch hikers, but I decided to offer him a ride and helped him get his can filled and drove him back to his car. His buddy was waiting back at the car and both of them were so blown away that someone would do that for them, but really is it such a big deal to help out someone else? What would our world be like if we all did more of that? What if we helped out people even if it would never benefit us? What if we were kind to someone who wrote us an email by not ignoring them and making them feel like they're invisible and worthless, but respected them enough to say that even if they aren't what we're looking for, they're a person who's important and matters.

I worked with teens for many years and it broke my heart at times to see young people who should have the light of the world in their eyes, but could see nothing but darkness, because life had clipped their wings. Many of those kids had life long scars due to the way they were treated by their parents and schoolmates. This site is a place dedicated to love and friendship and I hope we can truly all work together to help make it such a place.

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