The last year  

complexlysimple 35M
894 posts
6/5/2006 7:31 pm

Last Read:
12/16/2006 8:00 pm

The last year


One of the many things that I think I need to write ..maybe it will make things look a little less hectic...

I guess I'll start out in college ready to graduate and leave the place behind ... I'd had a woman through me out of her life in a rather painful way... another female friend had someone else tell me off ..I admit I had commented that her current boyfriend looked a bit like me, probably wasn't the smartest move but ...- three years of friendship and she has someone else tell me to go ...

So I graduate, leave college and the job I had working with the campus police there, move back to Minnesota in with my parents ... get a job working in a gas station for a few months, where I was almost paying to work there considering the gas prices at the time (right after Katrina hit) so I left there .. not that long after I leave there my father decides to start a conversation with me by telling me that if I so much as raise my voice he'll have me arrested, which started an argument because I'd finally gotten tired of listening to his threats and whining after doing so for more than 18 years.

I moved out of my parents house shortly after and in with two of my cousins about the same time as I started a long term temp position ...where I've been hired on "full-time" as of last week ..by "full-time" I mean about 37 hrs a week, with some benefits.

Living with my cousins went ...reasonably okay minus the slamming of doors as one came home at 3am every night ...and the possibility of stepping in dog ~^~ that wasn't always cleaned up ...okay it wasn't that great, but it was better than living with my parents anymore ...the first time I drove into my parents after having moved out they had a new "No Trespassing" sign at the end of the driveway ..it made me stop and wonder if I really wanted to continue on up the driveway ...yeah, that's how bad things are/were between me and my father...

Shortly after I joined here I moved out of my cousins' house, joint decision that it would be for the better...they're bringing it up, and my agreeing with them...

So now here I sit in my own apartment, having moved 3 times in the last year and having had 4 different employers spread across 2 states, with a bachelors degree in aerospace engineering that I'm having more than a little bit of a tough time finding a use for....

Geez, that doesn't make it seem any less complicated even though I've left out the gas station coworker who lied to me about having a boyfriend, the buddies sister who had him tell me no way, almost going down the road of becoming an alcoholic (you know you're way too drunk when you're happy to be vomiting)...

This just keeps getting better and better doesn't it?

If nothing else having joined AdultFriendFinder may have helped bump my confidence level back up, though it's still not where it once was... but I think I've got a right to be a bit down considering I may have just gone through more in a year than some people may in their entire life... but whatever..

Come to think of it, the last year hasn't been that much different that most of my life ...except for college ..that I think I may consider a 4 yr vacation for the rest of my life ..sure it maybe repsected as tough school that provides a quality education, but compared to the rest of my life - a vacation is an apt comparison...

~deep breath~

yeah, I think I definitely like that saying my cousin told me...

"They won't let me into heaven because I've been too bad and they won't send me to hell because they're afraid I'll take over ..so here I am."

...actually that reminds me of another joke of why engineers don't go to hell anyway... I'll save that one for a later date though

Best wishes to all.

absolutelynormal 57F
6563 posts
6/5/2006 9:13 pm

Just what would one expect to do with an aerospace degree in Minnesota? I'm asking cause I don't know. I am hardly an expert on the field and know nothing about Minnesota other than it's colder than hell up there in the winter and you have HUGE ass mosquitos in the summer.

I find it hard to believe you rival Satan in any fashion, you're much too tender hearted. Perhaps it's as they say that the most tender people guard themselves with a shell on the outside.

Not sure what your beef is with your parents. I doubt it's for a lack of you trying but speaking from my own experience (you've read my blog of my misadventures with my mom in graduation land), the earlier you take care of something the better. My mom was not a good mother and I am STILL to this day angry about it and what good does it do me?
I'm 46 years old and I can't be around my mom for more than 4 hours without wanting to kill her.

You're half my age, perhaps there is something you can do about your situation where it's not long lasting.

I hope so.

Mac


complexlysimple replies on 6/6/2006 3:36 pm:
not sure what I'd do with my degree in Minnesota, or anywhere else really ...lots of ideas, truthfully though I'm not entirely sure that I'm not selling myself short on the positions I apply for ...the beef with my parent's ..is more with my father, I think the arguement we had may have helped if only to show him what it was like to be on the recieving end ...my mother had always told us just to "humor him" and he'd grow out of it ....

as for rivaling Satan ... the path to hell is paved with good intentions... ...if anything I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of (nearly killed my brothers a couple of times ...and not by accident - when we used to fight it wasn't so nice as just throwing punches ... 2x4s and baseball bats were used at times ... usually on me) although in the end comparing myself to the darkest of the dark might be a way to remind myself to be nice ....and not walk down those paths, even if I have gazed down them...

{=} Thank you though Mac, sometimes I need to be reminded of that...

tillerbabe 57F

6/6/2006 12:30 pm

Yes...I apologize, this is a "copy and paste"..but I have so many people to thank. And, I'm so very tired.
...it is still very genuine nonetheless, I'm just sneaking through to say thank you, Thank You for your kind words in my blog and your well wishes for my Bri.


complexlysimple replies on 6/6/2006 3:37 pm:
completely understandable and best wishes to the both of you.

Become a member to create a blog