It just happens ..or not  

complexlysimple 35M
894 posts
6/4/2006 5:21 pm

Last Read:
12/16/2006 8:00 pm

It just happens ..or not

There is very little in my life that "just happened"

I started school in remdial classes ...first grade and I was being taken out of the room to learn how to read ... I learned in that year and caught up... I also remember an experience that has shaped much of my life....

I was sitting down working on an assignment, got board and slipped in my desk not wanting to finish ... the little girl next to me tried to do the same and got caught. The teacher reprimanded her for not doing her assignment, but not me. Me being the curious little boy I was started thinking about this ... she was the teacher, she had to know I wasn't doing my assignments, why am I getting away with this and she's not?

The conclusion that I came to was she didn't care if I did it or not... that's when I realized that if I wanted to get anywhere in life I was going to have work at it myself, because no one cares enough about me to do it for me. I was 7 when I learned that lesson, it later became broadened to if the thinking that if someone was trying to help me they were also holding me back and holding me down...

Very painful lessons to learn especially when your young....

That is how I went from being basically at the bottom of the class when I started school to graduating high school in the top 20 out of more than 400 gradutating students. I went on to a college that is supposedly a "tough" school, and I did well, - I really still don't see why it's considered "tough" - graduating from there with honors.

Now I keep getting told that I don't need to worry, I'll find someone and things will workout... if that's the case why haven't I ever even been kissed??? I that worthless, or is love something that requires work too?

I very much inclined to say that a loving relationship does require work and from both sides. It requires communication and a willingness compromise and sort things out when they go wrong -I don't see how it could work otherwise, well a short term fling maybe- but things will go wrong ..they have a habit of doing that .... and it takes two people to make things right in a relationship between them ... otherwise it seems pointless to conside each other equals and perhaps even be in the relationship.

I guess those are just my thought though...

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