Forgetting what should be forgotten ...and what shouldn't be  

complexlysimple 35M
894 posts
8/2/2006 4:46 pm

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8/7/2006 4:40 pm

Forgetting what should be forgotten ...and what shouldn't be


Guess the title is the best way to describe what happened to me Monday night.... although if I forgot all my flaws I'm not sure I'd still be 'me'..

.... I think the best way to describe this would be to look at a project I was part of in college ...it was an interpersonal communications course and we were supposed to take the idea of self actuatalzation ... and I seem to have forgotten what the project actually was meant to be -though I do remember the results..

Ah, I think that was it ...define what self actualizing is and whether or not it was a 'worthy' ideal to strive toward.

Now I'm not sure if I am or not ...and to tell the truth it doesn't really matter to me 'self actualizing' is someone elses term ...and I was the only one in the group that argued the point that it isn't worthy...

Like I said I may or may not qualify as being so.. but my arguement is/was that it is a balance point 'good', 'bad' it's both .... so saying it's 'worth' striving for is like going after a chocolate bar .. there are both pros and cons to it ...

To get back to my point though is when you live on a balance point and can plunge either way toward self annihilation or self improvement ...it is easy to fall the the wrong way... and if you can be either completely influence of not influence at all by others statements (like in self actualization) ... no one else can really help you back on the road to self improvement ...other than yourself....

Now bringing that back me ...like I've said before I generally see numerous possiblities ..so picking apart others arguements can be ....trivial -for lack of a better word ...which means I may not even bother at times ..becasue I see both their arguement as well as the flaws in it... and it just comes down to me making a choice....

And at times I forget that there are numerous possibilties... like with the lack of responses... being overwhelming is one of the many I've thought of which is why it's generally not a bother... which brings me to the next post...

BaronessK 53F

8/3/2006 6:47 am

But you are not overwhelming in the sense someone goes screaming, dear...it's more like you are not 'average' {and therefore also not boring} so that a person simply must get to know you, used to you...just like we do everyone else when they are different {and of course everyone is different in their own way}.


complexlysimple replies on 8/3/2006 5:10 pm:
ahh, well the thing is 'getting used to me' doesn't really happen all that well/often ... I still 'overwhelm' people that have know me for years ...so it's almost more of a matter of getting used to change and having your reality ..altered. ....usually being opened to something larger(?) ...and that's something few seem to really enjoy...

BaronessK 53F

8/4/2006 3:31 am

I will suppose that you have figured this out already, but so do I {still 'overwhelm' people, even those who have known me for years}. Everyone is 'weird'...it's a matter of finding one whose 'weirdness' matches your 'weirdness', at least 'enough'.

Yes, it can be done; had he not died....


complexlysimple replies on 8/4/2006 3:12 pm:
that sucks... haven't found anyone anywhere even close to being as 'weird' as I am ... not to be mean but I if you were as wierd as I am nothing I say would be all that interesting or at least 'overwhelming'

BaronessK 53F

8/5/2006 1:44 am

Bull! I am interested in you despite my own weirdness...like seeing it in a mirror, but with a slant or twist to it, so nah! 'Overwhelming' only in the way that the other people around me, interaction of any kind, are no stimulus to my regular way of thinking/being etcetera so that when I do read and respond to someone with your mentality and personality and all...I have to switch gears and sometimes I am a bit sluggish nowadays on the take!

Re the 'that sucks' part...we were together 4 years, hun...it was a lifetime, the rest of his lifetime and the whole of 'our' lifetime...so, because it has to be...it was 'enough'. Better to have loved and lost...but yes, the final cost sucked rocks....


complexlysimple replies on 8/5/2006 6:33 am:
ah ..yes having to change gears ... half the time I'm half asleep (that's all the more awake I usually need to be)the other half the time I either am asleep or moving from one state to the other ....

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