Hyenas. Misunderstood or Spawned From Satan?  

closer2u1971 47M
87 posts
4/28/2006 10:41 am

Last Read:
5/12/2006 2:45 pm

Hyenas. Misunderstood or Spawned From Satan?

Now I know when you cross momma nature she can retaliate with unknown predictions. To me, the Hyena must have done something horrible for her to create this thing that only another Hyena could love. And so let the story begin......

The other day while browsing the internet I came across on one of my favorite sites . One headline really caught my attention which read, "The Painful Realities of Hyena Sex". Now I know most of you could care less but when it comes to science and biology my mind cranks into high gear. It's like a high for me.

Anyway, so I click the link and began to read. It starts out basically saying that female Hyenas are more aggressive and muscular than male Hyenas (Sort of sounds like my 8th grade gym teacher) and that the highly ranking females pass on higher hormones to their offspring (Androgen) that is associated with aggression. This in itself gives these offspring highly physical characteristics. This means, I am getting the booty and you ain’t. Yes even in the Hyena world it seems that nice guys do finish last.

The next phrase in the article got me choked on water "Imagine giving birth through a penis". Can you hear it, it's the online community of mothers here cheering and whooping it up. No it's not a ringing in your ears. It seems that with this high amount of hormones that the female gives to her offspring in which she herself got from her mother is a catch22. The hormone damages her ovaries which makes it really difficult to conceive and also makes her reproductive organs grow and I do mean really grow. You see, the Hyena's clitoris is also her birthing canal and that thing grows 7 (Yes Seven) inches from her body. Yes that is silence you here as the entire online community just went silent.

This is where the phrase giving birth thru the penis comes in. As weird as it is someone the Hyena world has made this work and obviously giving birth thru a "penis" isn't as bad as it sounds. Yes ladies, the groaning you hear is the groaning of all the males online here.

And just like the opening of the male penis, the Hyena clitoris only has an diameter of 1 inch. Yes you heard me right, 1 inch. The tissue usually tears when birthing because the cub turns out to be 2 pounds when born. So let's recap here, 1 inch diameter squeezing out a 2 pound cub. I think that's the vision pretty much all mothers who are giving birth have in their head while looking at the child’s father.

Sadly, most female Hyenas usually die while giving birth because of the situation.

Now how the hell are they able to mate you wonder? Well funny you should ask. Because of the unusual genitalia of the female Hyena, it takes careful positioning for the male to basically crouch behind her and somehow get his hyena man hood in there. The male must point the penis up and backwards to enter the clitoris. Hey like my parents always said, "Practice makes perfect".

And you thought you had it bad.......

rm_LoyalCumpany 47M
3204 posts
4/30/2006 9:56 am

This was one of the most uncomfortable and hands-over-crotch items I've read in a long time. And it was even restrained enough to never use the word B**CH once.


Is it time for that commercial yet?

I am JoJo the Circus Boy!

ohsodelicious 58F
1922 posts
5/7/2006 1:53 pm

closer{=}WoW!! That was a great post...a lot of information I didn't know...with your own sense of humor thrown into the mix...OhSooutstanding!! I laughed...while being educated...I'm with huny on this one...crossing legs


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