Is It All About the Laundry?  

clevergirl4U 59F
1461 posts
5/10/2006 7:16 am

Last Read:
7/28/2006 12:06 pm

Is It All About the Laundry?

At this point in my life, if I could design what I think the perfect relationship for me would look like, it would be this:

* an unattached male with a full and active life
* love, respect and honesty
* a happy, satisfying sex life
* monogamy
* separate homes

Yes...separate homes. I take care of my life and he takes care of his life. We each do our own laundry Maybe this is all about the laundry

Do you have an IDEA of what a relationship that is good for you would look like?


norprin5 56M

5/10/2006 7:39 am

that looks pretty good to me...but the one i've got would be tough to beat

King Nor XVIII


TheRealThing655 49F
9558 posts
5/10/2006 8:09 am

I agree. I only can add one thing- a man who can, and wants to, cook a meal for you. Someone who knows how to make a freakin' cup of coffee (in 18 years, my husband never "learned" to make coffee).
Laughing about the laundry...so true!!!


gemini0157 60M
6842 posts
5/10/2006 9:51 am

I like your list but I would like to add:

* No sociopathic ex's
* drug free - (meaning no lithium, neurotin, prozac..)


twirly_girl 48F

5/10/2006 10:01 am

It's hard to say because, I don't know what I want.
LOL

-Nikki


clevergirl4U 59F

5/10/2006 11:06 am

    Quoting norprin5:
    that looks pretty good to me...but the one i've got would be tough to beat
I know, Nor...there is much you love about your situation...but maybe we could add a sexual surrogate disguised as a french maid for you to play with (with your wife's full consent and approval!)


clevergirl4U 59F

5/10/2006 11:11 am

    Quoting TheRealThing655:
    I agree. I only can add one thing- a man who can, and wants to, cook a meal for you. Someone who knows how to make a freakin' cup of coffee (in 18 years, my husband never "learned" to make coffee).
    Laughing about the laundry...so true!!!
Wow...not even coffee!? Jeez, Real! For YOU, definitely someone who would bring you coffee AND breakfast in bed!ME? I actually LOVE to cook...but I also love to get coffee in bed occasionally


clevergirl4U 59F

5/10/2006 11:16 am

    Quoting gemini0157:
    I like your list but I would like to add:

    * No sociopathic ex's
    * drug free - (meaning no lithium, neurotin, prozac..)
Yes...ex's are problematic. Maybe "Ex must be a nun/brother and live in a convent/monastery?"

On the meds...I'm all for "better living through chemistry" when NEEDED. I would take medicated over someone who FORGETS to take their meds. But I get your point.


clevergirl4U 59F

5/10/2006 11:19 am

    Quoting twirly_girl:
    It's hard to say because, I don't know what I want.
    LOL
Well, you are just catching me on one of those days when I am "clear"...usually I don't either Seriously, I DO know that I don't want to be married or live in the same home...everything else is a mystery yet to be solved


clevergirl4U 59F

5/10/2006 11:22 am

    Quoting humboldthonni:
    Yeah, I would go for that. Perhaps a duplex with separate everything.

    I have friends who live this way and its a fantastic lifestyle.

    Marriage is not an option....
Marriage is not an option for me either. And I love hearing about situations structured like this that work!

Not sure about the duplex, though. His washing machine or clothes dryer might break


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
5/10/2006 12:05 pm

OH GOODNESS YES, on the separate homes! Top of the list. If it wasn't for financial concerns, I probably never would have moved in with my Ex, which is a pretty trippy sentence, in retrospect.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


expatbrit49 64M

5/10/2006 1:16 pm

OMG.. whats the point of having a woman if you have to do your own laundry

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


clevergirl4U 59F

5/10/2006 4:36 pm

    Quoting expatbrit49:
    OMG.. whats the point of having a woman if you have to do your own laundry
Why am I not surprised?


ArtisticTwist75 42F
2505 posts
5/10/2006 7:51 pm

Oh my Clever - I actually like doing the laundry... he could do the ironing though.

Artistic


swlaman1 66M

5/10/2006 9:26 pm

Funny you should mention laundry. When my first LTR (and only marriage) ended I took a vow; “No one will EVER do my laundry again!” Ultimately the cost is way too high. Like Jed Clampett, I don’t want to be “beholden to anybody”. I’ll take care of me, thank you.

For me the perfect relationship would be someone to take out for good food and great conversation. Someone who would accompany me to the theater or to a orchestral concert. Or a rock or country or new age concert. Whatever.

Someone to challenge my preconceived belief system with new and better ideas would be appreciated. Someone who’s preconceived ideas are not immutable, would be a plus.

Separate homes goes without saying. I LOVE sharing myself with someone but I need my space. Making ones self too available will invariably make ones self a real pain in the ass.

Bottom line. I spend a lot of time alone, but I’m not complaining. I have a dog.

Peace.


rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
5/11/2006 8:33 am

Come to think of it, maybe it IS all about the laundry


rm_xxx1on1xxx 65M

5/11/2006 1:05 pm

Clever........well....in about 2 years.......I hope to be living either remote....which means NO roads....reachable only by boat.....or...if not remote....I will be living ON a boat. A perfect relationship would be one where I'd stay in contact .....daily if it was right....and see her whenever I was in town. I do my own laundry and I am a chef by trade....so I cook....but I've grown tired of dealing with people.....and the problems they create.....look around.....our society is not doing well.....

My kids are nearly grown.....so my child rearing responsibilities are minimal....and I have no debt....I will pay cash for whatever I buy....and owe nobody.....a simple life spent reading......enjoying the sunshine......and photographing my world which is filled with beauty. At times I fool myself into thinking a woman might want to join me.......then I remember the feeling of being told I am a dreamer......and having that meant to hurt.....and I realize I never need to feel that again at anyone's hand. Like the others here......I wish only to add something TO another's life....never to take from them. Wehnn the time comes....I hope to leave to my children a peaceful place for them to run to when they need peace....a place where they will feel me...as they have all their lives....there for them.


clevergirl4U 59F

5/12/2006 6:47 am

    Quoting rm_1hotwahine:
    OH GOODNESS YES, on the separate homes! Top of the list. If it wasn't for financial concerns, I probably never would have moved in with my Ex, which is a pretty trippy sentence, in retrospect.
Interesting that many women at our stage in life would opt for the separate homes...we've raised children and kept homes where, generally speaking, most of the burden of upkeep was on us...nice to put that burden down


clevergirl4U 59F

5/12/2006 6:48 am

    Quoting ArtisticTwist75:
    Oh my Clever - I actually like doing the laundry... he could do the ironing though.

    Artistic
You must be young and in love Give it a few years....


clevergirl4U 59F

5/12/2006 6:51 am

    Quoting swlaman1:
    Funny you should mention laundry. When my first LTR (and only marriage) ended I took a vow; “No one will EVER do my laundry again!” Ultimately the cost is way too high. Like Jed Clampett, I don’t want to be “beholden to anybody”. I’ll take care of me, thank you.

    For me the perfect relationship would be someone to take out for good food and great conversation. Someone who would accompany me to the theater or to a orchestral concert. Or a rock or country or new age concert. Whatever.

    Someone to challenge my preconceived belief system with new and better ideas would be appreciated. Someone who’s preconceived ideas are not immutable, would be a plus.

    Separate homes goes without saying. I LOVE sharing myself with someone but I need my space. Making ones self too available will invariably make ones self a real pain in the ass.

    Bottom line. I spend a lot of time alone, but I’m not complaining. I have a dog.

    Peace.
It seems like the older I get, the more "space" I need...

Agree that feeling obligated in a relationship is not a good thing...


clevergirl4U 59F

5/12/2006 6:53 am

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    Someone who really gets me...
    Someone who's face lights up,when they see me..
    A straight shooter,no tender lies..
    He don't need my things or ain't never broke..
    He has his own life and doesn't want to know my every move..
    Someone..who wants me for me...takes me as I am.
That's a beautiful idea...I'm guessing that most of us want that. Thanks


clevergirl4U 59F

5/12/2006 6:58 am

    Quoting rm_xxx1on1xxx:
    Clever........well....in about 2 years.......I hope to be living either remote....which means NO roads....reachable only by boat.....or...if not remote....I will be living ON a boat. A perfect relationship would be one where I'd stay in contact .....daily if it was right....and see her whenever I was in town. I do my own laundry and I am a chef by trade....so I cook....but I've grown tired of dealing with people.....and the problems they create.....look around.....our society is not doing well.....

    My kids are nearly grown.....so my child rearing responsibilities are minimal....and I have no debt....I will pay cash for whatever I buy....and owe nobody.....a simple life spent reading......enjoying the sunshine......and photographing my world which is filled with beauty. At times I fool myself into thinking a woman might want to join me.......then I remember the feeling of being told I am a dreamer......and having that meant to hurt.....and I realize I never need to feel that again at anyone's hand. Like the others here......I wish only to add something TO another's life....never to take from them. Wehnn the time comes....I hope to leave to my children a peaceful place for them to run to when they need peace....a place where they will feel me...as they have all their lives....there for them.
I have a similar philosophy and have withdrawn from the social world in increments. I've designed a small home that will be both solar and wind powered, in part. I plan on building it when my son goes off to college.

I think it would be difficult to find someone to share that life- style with...it is such a personal dream


rm_xxx1on1xxx 65M

5/12/2006 10:33 am

Clever......you say personal dream...I say a manner of lving that others will soon duplicate....and often. The world is evolving...and someday people will see that self sufficiency only makes sense. Soloar...wind.....and a rain collection...water purification system.....the technology is all there....it takes constant attention.....to adjust as circumstances require....but it all works. A day to day existance based on what is given to us...and like I say....a few good books...maybe write one of my own...in my world I can catch a fish....crab....clams....veggies grow like wildfire here....berries.....everywhere...people do this now.....I will too.


ebandit_64 53M

5/13/2006 6:06 pm

Clever,
I agree relationships are much better until people live together. Everything has a boundry or territory. This mine/That is your space. Which leads to a failed relationship. People are like animals in that they are territorial and fight to protect it from invaders, no matter how close they are to our heart.


rm_4wolfsr 59M

5/14/2006 6:09 pm

Having been in the type of relationship you describe, I can tell you it is really the perfect relationship. Slumber parties at each others houses, the occasional romantic get aways all with out the need or demand to account for every minute in between. Respect and honesty are the key elements. Even with respect and honesty a little laundry once in a while isn't a problem.


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