Dildos and Vibrators; its all in how you use 'em  

cdnheat 56M/59F
12 posts
1/16/2006 2:23 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Dildos and Vibrators; its all in how you use 'em

It occurred to me that this post and the nipple clamp post may be interpreted as "male bashing." That isn't the intention. There are few resources out there that will lay it on the line for guys or girls regarding the safe and appropriate use of toys.

For example; popsicles come to mind...lots of fun for sure but there is a big issue involving the use of popsicles and the vagina. While the vagina is pretty hardy in most cases and can withstand all kind of activity; it does have a chemical balance. Throw that balance out of whack and that vagina will be out of commission for a while.

We have used a popsicle - I believe it was cherry flavoured. Much fun was had by all...at first. But what we didn't know was that the popsicle upset my chemical balance. The next few days were a misery. So much so, the fun had by all, was pretty much, wiped out.

Yeast infection...the sugar content in the popsicle, the temperature of the popsicle, created a major problem. From what I understand, the temperature decreased the vagina's ability to balance the sugar in the popsicle. Too much sugar = yeast infection. Had we covered the popsicle with a condom, this may not have been as much of an issue. Although the temperature may have caused problems anyway, hard to say.

This whole "fun and new things" area of sexuality does require, unfortunately, knowledge of human biology and physiology. Where are you going to go to get that kind of info? Its not like the popsicle tragedy would be common knowledge...I should have figured it out for myself but in the heat of the moment? My IQ takes a walk until the fun/games are over. Tell you what though? In order to do my part for the information process, I will sacrifice my vagina and try the whole popsicle thing again, with a condom this time.

Boy, the things I do for knowledge

The other thing is the appropriate use, size and material of a dildo and/or vibrator. Guys and Dolls...again, don't let your IQ take that walk. Discuss limits ahead of time. Some women love the rough approach but up to a point. There is tissue in the vagina that can be damaged from over-enthusiastic use of a dildo or vibrator. In some cases? You can do real damage, medical attention damage. If not to your partner then when she's able to walk...the medical attention you'll need when she does the rough thing on you, in your nether orifice....

Speaking of nether orifice; some dildos are simply not made for anal play. We have a glass swirled one, great for vaginal play - not so great for anal. Those swirls of glass have no give and can cause some real pain and/or damage to the delicate tissue in and around the ass.

You can't just introduce a dildo or butt plug all of sudden. And even if you're adept at anal play, "CARE" has to be the watch word, with LUBE a close second. A good lube - KY is the one we use. There's no topical anaesthetic in it so pain isn't masked. You have to know, if it hurts - something is wrong. It shouldn't hurt. A mild discomfort at first but after that? Woo HOOO!!! Personally? Anal penetration is one of my favourite activities but lucky for me, my husband is pretty adept at what he does AND we have excellent communication.

Do I sound like a broken record with that communication thing? Too bad. It is the most important tool in your sexual arsenal.

Actually, arsenal is probably not the best word; dildos, vibrators and butt plugs aren't weapons. They are just expressions of how much you enjoy each other, how much you enjoy sex with your partner. Kind of added bonuses?

I like rough play, but we have a safe word and when I feel like things are getting out of hand or something hurts, more than is tolerable, for some reason...the safe word puts an end to the activity, quickly and safely. Even if you aren't into the whole BDSM thing; it is a good idea to employ a safe word - something you can pant out easily when an activity is starting to hurt or cause you discomfort.

Size, material and the way you use a vibrator, dildo or butt plug is all important. Just because you own one and have used it, doesn't make you Don Juan of the sex toys. Owning one and using it properly are 2 entirely different things. You can't just keep jamming the thing in there - may be fun for you but her cervix may have a totally different opinion and the cervix wins, every time.

As with anal sex, lots of lube. Start slowly, use it on the outside of the pussy, on the lips, over the clit...spend some time there. There are a lot of extremely sensitive nerves on the exterior of your final destination. Using the dildo or vibrator on that area will really ease the insertion of the toy. In fact, a river may run there....

When you figure your partner has had enough? Start slowly, deliberately - speed up as you gauge her reaction, intensify the force slowly as well. My husband will stop...mainly because he loves the reaction he gets when I lose my mind...but it also helps to gauge the speed and the force you can use, safely. Remember, the dildo/vibrator/butt plug isn't a freaking piston and your partner's vagina or anus isn't the bore...take your time, understand her body, understand what takes her over the top and makes her lose her mind...

Faster, harder, deeper is great but you have to do the slower, softer thing first. Makes it all worthwhile.

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