Clitoral Massage  

cajunpet 71M
828 posts
6/15/2005 4:25 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Clitoral Massage


~~~~~~~~ Welcome to Sexual Health and Sex Guide. ~~~~~~~~~~

Clitoral Massage

A Valuable Skill


Clitoral massage is an excellent skill to have at your disposal when making love to a woman. While most couples engage in a little diddling of the vulva and clitoris prior to intercourse, few would consider making it the main course. If you really want to impress your female partner, consider making her the center of attention by giving her a clitoral massage.

Couples with temporary and permanent physical disabilities can employ clitoral massage. Pregnant women may experience an increased desire for sex and orgasm but find themselves unable to engage in vaginal intercourse. Partners with paralyses may not be able to perform the physical motions required of intercourse. Men who are impotent may still desire to give their partner sexual pleasure and orgasm. Teens and adults who are not ready to have vaginal intercourse can still give each other sexual pleasure. It is important to realize that sex can exist in the absence of an erection and intercourse.

Watch and Learn

The next step is for your partner to masturbate to orgasm. She should go slowly at first, demonstrating her different strokes, the amount of pressure applied, and frequency of her strokes. This is so you can get an understanding for what she likes and is most responsive too. It will take lots of practice and repeated masturbation sessions for you to become as good at masturbating her as she is. Her masturbating to orgasm before you begin the massage helps to put her in the mood and makes her more responsive to additional sexual stimulation. There are women who find their genitals overly sensitive after orgasm, so you may need to gently massage other areas of her body for several minutes before you begin or continue the clitoral massage. Some women are only able to have one orgasm in the beginning, so go slow and just try to make her feel good if you discover this is true for your partner. If your partner is reluctant to masturbate in your presence, this is perfectly okay and is not a requirement. Suggest it, but do not place any pressure on her.

To the women reading this please rest assured that masturbating in front of your partner is perfectly normal, a lot of women do it. Masturbation is not just a solo activity. Women are very beautiful when they masturbate and share their orgasms with their partner. You cannot do it wrong or make a fool of yourself. You will not lose any of the intimacy you experience when you masturbate alone. I believe most people know their partner masturbates, so you are not going to shock them by admitting to it, they most likely masturbate too. If you maintain eye contact with your partner while masturbating, I think you will be blown away by the experience.

Clitoral Sensitivity, and Lubrication

You know where her clitoris is, so now what you ask? Well, first I must mention clitoral sensitivity and the possible need for additional lubrication. The sensitivity of the clitoris varies greatly from woman to woman. There are women who experience pain if their clitoris is touched directly, others do not find their clitoris sensitive to touch at all. Others may require a very light touch in the beginning but need a firmer touch the closer they are to reaching orgasm. It is best to start out with a very light touch then slowly increase the amount of pressure as you see her become more aroused. Watch her body movements and listen to the noises she makes to see if you are applying too much pressure or not enough. Be careful, you almost never want to squeeze the clitoris tightly, perhaps firmly, but almost never aggressively. A few women may enjoy a firm squeeze at the point of orgasm, but talk to her about this before actually trying it. She will either see stars, or smack you across the head. Ticklishness can be an indication of nervousness or too light of a touch; have her breath deeply and relax.

Depending on the sensitivity of your partner's clitoris and the amount of natural lubrication, you may need to apply additional lubrication before beginning the massage. Try it without at first, but if she pulls away or reports she is too sensitive, or feels nothing, apply a generous coating of lubrication to her entire vulva. Use water-based lubricants like K-Y Jelly. (Use of petroleum-based lubricants can result in infection.) You can also use the new silicone sexual lubricants; NOT the type used to lubricate cars etc. When you first try clitoral massage have additional lubrication on hand just in case. You will almost never want to touch her clitoral glans directly without your finger(s) being lubricated, but this may not be a part of the massage in any event.

You may also want to consider wearing latex or vinyl gloves. They will make your fingers very slick, which will come in handy if your partner's clitoris is extremely sensitive, or if you have rough skin on your fingers. They also come in handy if you insert your finger(s) into her vagina during the massage, fingernails can scratch the vaginal walls. Most pharmacies carry vinyl and latex gloves and are an inexpensive over the counter item.

Maintain Physical Contact

Always maintain physical contact with the person receiving the massage once you begin. It is very disruptive of the physical bond that develops if you take both hands off her body at the same time, and placing them back can be somewhat of a shock. With practice you may become aware of the sexual energy that flows between you and your partner. Sounds strange, but it is true. Have everything you need within reach of your free hand. It is also a good idea to touch her knee, then slide your hand up to her inner thigh, then finally her up to her vulva, so as not to penetrate her personal space too quickly. Placing your cold hands directly on her vulva may be a shock and ruin the mood. Warm, in a bowl of warm water, any lubricant you may use prior to applying them to her vulva.

Basic Techniques

You will be massaging her clitoris using one, two, or three fingers. The size and prominence of her clitoris will determine how many fingers you use. If you are able to locate and feel her clitoral shaft with your fingers, you will use your thumb and index finger. If she has a well-developed clitoris you may want to use your thumb, your index finger, and the finger next to that. If you cannot grasp the shaft and glans of her clitoris because it is small or hidden, you will use just the tip of your index finger, or perhaps your thumb.

If you can grasp her clitoris with two or three fingers you will want to do the following. Very gently grasp the shaft of her clitoris with your thumb and index finger. Gently slide the loose tissue covering her clitoris around, primarily back and forth, getting a feel for the shape and firmness of her clitoris. Determine how much the tissue along her shaft slides around. You do not want to grasp the glans at first if possible; if her clitoris is small you will not be able to avoid it. As you slide your fingers back and forth along her shaft, the hood should also be sliding back and forth, stimulating her glans. Go slow and watch your partner for indications of whether or not she is enjoying what you are doing. Try to maintain eye contact with her if possible, or as much as possible. If you cannot tell by body language, then ask her if what you are doing feels good. Ask her whether you should be going slower or faster, or applying a firmer or lighter touch. After you make the suggested change, ask again. If she does not know, just experiment but keep communicating.

For the ladies! Does your lover spend enough time on your clitoris before penetration?

For the men! Do you spend time massaging or stimulate your lady's clitoris before penetration?


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Take care.
Keep On Blogging!!!! Have a great day.

Cajun Pet




e.s.marie222 59F
2 posts
6/16/2005 4:32 am

hello im marie
it was a nice lesson for me please give me a lesson how a woman do to make her partner a man satisfied in bed and make him happy and never forget the night with her lover your lesson is interesting


cajunpet 71M
1185 posts
6/16/2005 8:54 am

Hi nancy725, Thanks for sharing you thoughts. I did not not write the article. I have had women ask me about the subject, and that is why I posted this article.


Take care.
Keep On Blogging!!!! Have a great day.

Cajun Pet


cajunpet 71M
1185 posts
6/16/2005 9:09 am

Hi Marie, Thank you for sharing you thoughts. I will research for an article on how a woman can please her lover.

Thanks for visitng my blogs and I am happy that it has helped you. That is the one of the reasons why I started blogging. Most people learn by trial and error, and do not know how to educate themselves about the many forms of sexuality. Please read my past blogs. I have blogs on different topics about sexuality.


Take care.
Keep On Blogging!!!! Have a great day.

Cajun Pet


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