nivoL yliO iwiK toH  

bulging_boy 50M
4912 posts
11/14/2005 8:34 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

nivoL yliO iwiK toH

Recently our resident Saint regailed our dream date [post 141715].

Just in case there may have been some confusion, I will give you my side of the steamy encounter.

I was sleeping in my bed of leaves in the corner of my bush bedroom when a stirring voice appeared in my mind.

Hello? Hello??

I answered the call and it was her! My beak clapped and my tail swished. She called!

Those emails must have worn her down.

Maybe it was the sky writing

Maybe it was the telegrams

Or the kidnapping.

Who cares! She was here, and she was mine!

She was dizzy after overdosing on E so I knew I was in for a good night.

I skimmed through NZ Sexual Positions Monthly, the only magazine I subscribe to, other than Marsupial Masturbation and Kinky Kiwi's Digest.

My attention was held by the tantric delight of oily orgasms. I read the recipe twice and ran to the fridge.

Just make yourself comfortable! I shouted as I ran.

Not in the fridge. Not in the fridge. Damn! Not in the fridge.

I checked in the cupboard, and grabbed the olive oil. I roughly poured a cup and popped it in the microwave.

5 seconds? or 5 minutes?

Shit! I couldn't remember. Damn, my nipples were hardening already. 5 minutes. That's how long it takes to cook a pie, and pies are full of oil.

I think.

I rushed back to the bedroom where my Saint was trying to settle down on the soft decaying leaves.


What. A. Sight.

I could feel my tail twitch as I let my eyes wander across her.

No time for that. I rushed to her side and pressed my body as close to her as physics would allow.

I was already hot from the runing around, but I got hotter. She wanted me I could tell by the way she kept pushing back.

Fuck off! She said. Oohhhh. She knew I loved that word.

I heard the microwave beep, so I ran my tongue across her only eye and kissed her on the head telling her I would be back soon with a surprise.

When I got back she was under a layer of leaves.

mmmmmmm. if *only* she was a worm.

I got in beside her and rested the oil on my bedside stump.

I climbed on top of her and coiled my tail around her waist pulling myself into her.

Her moans of ectasy sounded quite like a what the fuck? as I entered her. She was dry as a bone and felt a bit linty, but what the hell. I was in!

I let out a warble and started my horizontal dance, but I stopped suddenly when she punched me on the side of the head. Wow! I didn't know she was a rough player as well.

No problem I grabbed the oil and painted her abdomen. She screamed.

Strange I thought. Molly never complained the last time.

Perhaps I got it wrong. I ran my tongue across the bubbling liquid and screamed myself.

Jesus that shit burns.

Anyway... the rest is history, we went to the ER together hand in hand. We made small talk and plans for our next encounter.

Her place.

Sounded great.

I totally did her. Twice and she had to beg me to stop. Oh yeah. She said I was the best as well.

rm_sj365 57F
2414 posts
11/14/2005 9:30 pm

Hee hee...

funny, with a name like 'bulging', i pictured you with a much bigger beak

Efilnikufecin69 48M

11/14/2005 9:50 pm

Nice pic, but uh, that was just a body double cause saints tits are WAY bigger than that! How do I know? I have had them in my hands!

The best? Nah, she said she had to beg you to stop, otherwise she would have died laughing from you being such a total goofball!

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
11/14/2005 10:09 pm

You let out a warble? I thought it was more like a peacock shriek. Oh well, as you liked it, my kiwi flavored muffin of love. Great pic, but your nipples are waaay bigger than that. Oh, hiya E.

bulging_boy 50M

11/15/2005 3:26 am

Gee thanks SJ,

I'm *all* beak

bulging_boy 50M

11/15/2005 3:28 am

Nice transition there E,

You went from talking about Saints breasts to...

I know


bulging_boy 50M

11/15/2005 3:31 am

Only cause you made me hot Saint,

You know I shrieked when I licked that oil tho

1023 posts
11/15/2005 8:31 pm

Wait... I'm writing this down... bed of leaves..check!, bedside stump..check!, now I just need to find me a one eyed, swear word, sexy little kiwi eater.... SAINT!!! check!

tillerbabe 57F

11/16/2005 1:21 am


rm_luke69iner 49M
3275 posts
11/16/2005 4:48 am

Fucking Hilarious

As Trav would say ... That's sooo not right

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

anchcpl4fun 42M/45F

11/16/2005 5:32 am

Insanity, wonderful place to visit!

bulging_boy 50M

11/16/2005 8:38 am

Yup nikki,

But as my Dad used to say...

better an eyeball licker than a ball licker

bulging_boy 50M

11/16/2005 8:39 am


You forgot to shout HOUSE!

bulging_boy 50M

11/16/2005 8:41 am

mmmmmmmmm tiller!

You know GAAACK is native Kiwi for I wanna jump your bones...


bulging_boy 50M

11/16/2005 8:42 am

Heya Luke,

Actually I spoke to Trav, and he said that he was aroused by the story.

In particular my nipples going hard.

bulging_boy 50M

11/16/2005 8:44 am

Hiya anch,


Fuck no! I've been here all the time.

bulging_boy 50M

11/16/2005 1:18 pm

Thanks Sil,

I could totally believe it too!

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