One admission coming up.  

bulging_boy 50M
4912 posts
6/4/2006 2:28 am

Last Read:
6/18/2006 8:13 pm

One admission coming up.


Well...

I did promise didn't I?

Ok.

Now fortunately I've only been caught the once. Well... I'm pretty sure I've only been caught once. It's quite possible with this memory of mine that I was caught every other day. I just don't remember.

Fucked if I'm asking either!

So anyway. Getting busted.

I can't remember how old I was, but I was still living at home so lets say 20. My girlfriend at the time lived up the street from me which was pretty handy.

Anyhow. One day I really didn't want to go to work, so I rang her and told her to take a sickie as well. Everyone had left the house so I was pretty much on my own.

She got to the house and I let her in. We made it to my bedroom and pretty much jumped in.

Fucking brilliant. I remember jumping around on the bed like it was a bouncy castle, all the while shagging away.

Eventually we settled down into some normal type stuff, with her on top and me trying to send her through the roof.

Pure poetry. Those moments that just kind of stand still in your mind.

Stand still? Fuck yeah.

When you're in the moment, nothing else exists.

Not even the sound of a car arriving. Nor the sound of the garage door opening and a mother walking down the hall.

Nope. Not a fucking peep.

Not until her hand was on the handle and the door was open did I hear her say 'Bulge? I saw your car here and I ju...'

Yeah. That's the spirit mum.

My girlfriend was pretty much at the peak of the thrust, and as far out of the bed as I could get her.

That second lasted a fucking hour. When time resumed she had curled up like a freaking hedgehog and my mum just stood at the door with her mouth open wide.

I shoulda told her due to the fright she'd given me, I wasn't up to target practice today.

Seems she's been to the doctors, and realised she'd forgotten her purse. When she saw my car still here, she figured I must have been sick so came in to see how I was.

So lucky I didn't really.

She stood there, and us in the bed for another year I think until she finally blurted out that my girlfriend really should go home.

By that stage, my dick had shrunken to the point where it was heading back inside me. In fact if anyone had inspected us, they would have figured we were a couple of lesbians.

I think she kinda staggered out of the room in a bit of a daze which gave us the opportunity to get dressed and get the fuck out of there.

Given that we'd been busted, we had to go visit her mum and fill her in as well. Cause my mum is one of those people who just *loves* to let everyone know.

I think the worst part was she knew I was shagging and caught me.

But no.

The worst part was the dinner table when we had an impromptu family meeting on account of me 'sowing my wild oats'

Parents. Nothing else they said I remember but 'wild oats'. That was fucking embarrassing. My brothers thought it was hilarious and started making jokes about planting stuff which just kept her fire going.

I don't even think Dad could eat porridge again after that association.

Me?

I could never eat porridge after all the jokes I heard, and was just happy to get away.

chasingfun27 39M
1108 posts
6/4/2006 2:41 am

I'm giving up giving you shit. You've already been humiliated far worse than I could imagine. Go mum!


GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
6/4/2006 2:47 am


~ triez to keep straight face ~

.... don't succeed ....


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
6/4/2006 2:54 am

Jumping up and down on the bed like it was a jumpy castle, shagging away - ok, first of all, I can't quite grasp this and secondly I SO do not want to.

jumping up and down... ;? hmmmm. Nope, sorry. Just can't wrap around how this can be practical.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


Peche85 32F

6/4/2006 3:03 am

Lol I think I'm gonna giggle everytime I eat porridge now. If I can actually eat it after reading this lol.


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 3:19 am

    Quoting chasingfun27:
    I'm giving up giving you shit. You've already been humiliated far worse than I could imagine. Go mum!
LOL Yeah the bitch.

Still not too late for you to admit your shame on the previous post.

Go on... dare ya!


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 3:44 am

    Quoting GoddessOfTheDawn:

    ~ triez to keep straight face ~

    .... don't succeed ....


That's no problem GOTD,

all face types are welcome here.

Unless they're really scary ones.


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 3:46 am

    Quoting rm_1hotwahine:
    Jumping up and down on the bed like it was a jumpy castle, shagging away - ok, first of all, I can't quite grasp this and secondly I SO do not want to.

    jumping up and down... ;? hmmmm. Nope, sorry. Just can't wrap around how this can be practical.
Fucks sake Wahine,

Let's just say frenzied then ok?

LOL

Spakette


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 3:49 am

    Quoting Peche85:
    Lol I think I'm gonna giggle everytime I eat porridge now. If I can actually eat it after reading this lol.
LOL Peche,

Just make sure you swallow well. Porridge dribbling down your chin is *not* a good look.

Despite what it says in the Scottish Porno Monthly.


rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
6/4/2006 4:41 am

Hehehe... I love this story. Although I normally find the mental image of you shagging nyone else highly disturbing, this is a funny nostalgic moment, illustrative of your rise to adult spakness.

You guys have to see Bulge's mom- that's what makes it so funny. I can totally picture the whole thing and I was cracking up reading this even though I had already heard the story.

I can't wait to somehow work "wild oats" into the conversation at the dinner table when I get there...

XOXO

A


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 4:58 am

    Quoting rm_LilBlondeNZ:
    Hehehe... I love this story. Although I normally find the mental image of you shagging nyone else highly disturbing, this is a funny nostalgic moment, illustrative of your rise to adult spakness.

    You guys have to see Bulge's mom- that's what makes it so funny. I can totally picture the whole thing and I was cracking up reading this even though I had already heard the story.

    I can't wait to somehow work "wild oats" into the conversation at the dinner table when I get there...

    XOXO

    A
Adult Spakness?

You leave my surgical shoes out of this!

LOL

I'm looking forward to working some "wild oats" into your diet.


HBowt2 60F

6/4/2006 7:44 am

your mum had all the fun...i never caught any of mine...and I know they're all doing it.....just know they are....wild oats been sown everywhere....


rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
6/4/2006 8:13 am

You just know Wahine is going to try the jumping up and down thing next time she gets lucky. You think we should send out a warning?

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


real36CgirlPA 39F

6/4/2006 11:50 am

I'm kind of shocked that your mom was surprised you were having sex at around 20...lol. Did you ever notice the quicker you wished they would leave when they busted you for something the more slow motion they were? My parents thought I was getting more sex than I was in high school.


rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
6/4/2006 2:35 pm

<- still laughing.


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
6/4/2006 4:38 pm

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    You just know Wahine is going to try the jumping up and down thing next time she gets lucky. You think we should send out a warning?
I'm guessing you just did.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
6/4/2006 4:39 pm

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    You just know Wahine is going to try the jumping up and down thing next time she gets lucky. You think we should send out a warning?
Assuming, of course, that I'm not using a walker or wheelchair by then.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


ArgosPlumyKooky 46F
3902 posts
6/4/2006 5:45 pm

oh dear. . . .


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 7:19 pm

    Quoting HBowt2:
    your mum had all the fun...i never caught any of mine...and I know they're all doing it.....just know they are....wild oats been sown everywhere....
Oh God Hbowt,

That's just wrong. I've got an image of you rubbing your hands together with glee - knowing your kids are shaggin.

only a matter of time... only a matter of time


nedthebundler 57M/60F

6/4/2006 7:25 pm

Bulge,
Ahhhhhh, it's heartwarming stories such as yours that make us glad to be in our own shoes.

Madness takes its toll. Exact change please!


imLadyBambi 59M/51F

6/4/2006 7:52 pm

bulging boy,

That was halarious.LOL

xxxooo
Lady Bambi


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 8:20 pm

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    You just know Wahine is going to try the jumping up and down thing next time she gets lucky. You think we should send out a warning?
True Daph,

I reckon that she'll be jumping up and down *before* she gets lucky too.

Let's hope those new bra's hold, or she'll take herself out before she gets to the main event!

LOL


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 8:43 pm

    Quoting real36CgirlPA:
    I'm kind of shocked that your mom was surprised you were having sex at around 20...lol. Did you ever notice the quicker you wished they would leave when they busted you for something the more slow motion they were? My parents thought I was getting more sex than I was in high school.
I understand where you're coming from real36.

I guess from her perspective, she expected me to be on my death bed.

With all that groaning going on... she hadn't bargained on that being the reason for it.


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 10:23 pm

    Quoting candy69sosweet:

    ♥ ♥ LAMO! You're a scream!!! While I was never cought, I did catch my son....he was maybe 17 or 18. I went down to his room to ask him something, and opened the door to find him in bed....with his girlfriend. It must have either been after the fact, or they heard me coming down the wodden stairs and "disengaged" I didn't want to embarrass them any more than they were, so left the room. When he came upstairs, all I said was, "I hope you're using protection." Enough said. ♥ ♥

    Kisses & Hugs
    ♥ Candy ♥

LOL Candy,

Was she orbiting him waiting for re-entry?


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 10:24 pm

Oh and like I can't hear you?

LOL


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 10:26 pm

Guess not Wahine,

She *really* did


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 10:29 pm

    Quoting rm_1hotwahine:
    Assuming, of course, that I'm not using a walker or wheelchair by then.
That's the story girl.

You probably got all the 70+ members of this site, sucking on their inhalers now.

Did you hear that Bert? I'd love one of those on my walker. Grrrr *cough* *hack* *wheeze*


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 10:30 pm

Hiya snatch,

Not quite the expression I had... but you're heading in the right direction.

LOL


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 10:32 pm

    Quoting nedthebundler:
    Bulge,
    Ahhhhhh, it's heartwarming stories such as yours that make us glad to be in our own shoes.
Yeah thanks for the reality check Ned.


bulging_boy 50M

6/4/2006 10:33 pm

    Quoting imLadyBambi:
    bulging boy,

    That was halarious.LOL

    xxxooo
    Lady Bambi
You know lady Bambi...

I never saw the funny side for a long time after.


rm_goddess1946 107F
13518 posts
6/5/2006 5:36 am

too funny, BB....

this one had me rollin'...

if all else fails, you could always do
stand up comedy...
lol

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...
{=}


rm_goddess1946 107F
13518 posts
6/5/2006 5:38 am

might not have been funny that day..
sure is today!


Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...
{=}


bulging_boy 50M

6/5/2006 11:54 pm

    Quoting rm_goddess1946:
    might not have been funny that day..
    sure is today!
Yeah I'm sure it is Goddess.

Still... I'll take the positives where they fall.


bulging_boy 50M

6/5/2006 11:56 pm

    Quoting rm_MariGrrl:
    LMFAO... you poor dear! I've never been busted by a parent but I was almost busted by my daughter (thank god she was way to young to know what we were doing and I managed to get the sheets up before she came running in). We installed a lock after that night.
Mari,

You'd think locks would be compulsory on parents bedroom doors huh?


curious082385 32F
4925 posts
6/6/2006 3:24 am

That's hilarious!!!
I cringe at the thought of my mom ever catching me. I mean...she knows, she found out years ago, but has never caught me.


bulging_boy 50M

6/6/2006 5:36 am

    Quoting BigGirlzRSweet:
    That was fucking hilarious! I didn't share on the last post about getting caught... mostly because I haven't ever been caught mid-shag. I was caught with my pants down in the car once in high school. My boyfriend and I were messing around while parked in my driveway... not the smartest move, actually. So there I was, being fingered to within an inch of my life when my mom starts doing the porch light flash. I knew she couldn't see into the car from the house, but also knew that she was giving me the 'signal' that it was time to say goodnight. I didn't heed said signal, so she came out to the car, an event I didn't notice, as my boyfriend was much more important to me than any flashing porch light. All of the sudden, I heard a knock on the window of the car. My mom. I am probably deluding myself that she didn't notice my pants laying on the passenger side floor or my naked legs in the middle of winter. But she never said anything, other than to let me know the Miss America pageant was on television and that I was missing it... LOL!

    So, not caught mid-shag... just caught mid-fooling around.

    Thanks for the chuckle.
Hey again Sweety.

LOL. Sweety? Get it??

Well... I figured it sounded better than BigGirl.

That's one hell of a story, I'm sure when your Mum knocked on the window she definately *didn't* notice your eyes rolling around in your head or the fact you were gripping the seat with white knuckles. I'm just glad your boyfriend didn't tear you as he exited rapidly.

I'm just lucky my girl thinks this is funny.


bulging_boy 50M

6/6/2006 5:41 am

    Quoting curious082385:
    That's hilarious!!!
    I cringe at the thought of my mom ever catching me. I mean...she knows, she found out years ago, but has never caught me.
LOL

Ya reckon she's trying? Damn you guys are freaking nuts!


Seriously_Real 49M

6/6/2006 9:08 am

Mommus Interruptuses are the worst....worst....worst....

Heh. I'm still laughing...

--Seriously


NiceGuyMush 48M

6/6/2006 2:10 pm

Dude

Great tale,
Got a similar one to tell at 19, but at the girl friends placel, yes it was her mum, but now she didn't come in - staunch catholic lady, the aftermath wasn't exactly pleasant... but she kept it to herself, blamed it all on her daughter for being a hussy.

More than a bit harsh when it takes two to tango!
But mate great tale and well told!


bulging_boy 50M

6/6/2006 2:35 pm

    Quoting Seriously_Real:
    Mommus Interruptuses are the worst....worst....worst....

    Heh. I'm still laughing...

    --Seriously
Yeah, but you're laughing at your comment.

LOL

Spakker


bulging_boy 50M

6/6/2006 2:37 pm

    Quoting NiceGuyMush:
    Dude

    Great tale,
    Got a similar one to tell at 19, but at the girl friends placel, yes it was her mum, but now she didn't come in - staunch catholic lady, the aftermath wasn't exactly pleasant... but she kept it to herself, blamed it all on her daughter for being a hussy.

    More than a bit harsh when it takes two to tango!
    But mate great tale and well told!
Hey Mush,

Hmmm... Catholic mums huh? You shoulda told her your girlfriend went off like a rocket.

That would have been an interesting reaction.

LOL


FeistySyn 53F

6/6/2006 7:51 pm

Never got caught... only because my parents were too busy getting drunk to care... they were happier when I was out of the house... I was allowed to date alone when I was 14 (I was in 8th grade, my boyfriend was in 12th)... I think they were out of their minds now, after having kids of my own... thank god I had some common sense.

Apparently the depth of depravity here is bottomless... don't you feel right at home?
~~~~~


bulging_boy 50M

6/6/2006 8:50 pm

    Quoting FeistySyn:
    Never got caught... only because my parents were too busy getting drunk to care... they were happier when I was out of the house... I was allowed to date alone when I was 14 (I was in 8th grade, my boyfriend was in 12th)... I think they were out of their minds now, after having kids of my own... thank god I had some common sense.
Awww Feisty,

That's so sad. I'm sure now that you have your own, you probably understand the drinking.

I'm glad you had common sense too!


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