Everyones a critic baby, that's no lie  

bulging_boy 50M
4912 posts
5/12/2006 5:12 am

Last Read:
5/19/2006 3:09 pm

Everyones a critic baby, that's no lie


Art, Shmart painting with a fart.

I was driving around today, something people in Auckland do a great deal of.

Reasons for that include;

- It's way too spread out
- The public transport system sucks
- We're all fucking extroverted introverts who would rather drive by ourselves and abuse other drivers

Still, part of my daily life and working life involves driving around.

On this particular rainy day, I was stuck in traffic and my eyes were allowed to wander.

Now. Given that I drive a 4 wheel drive that sits higher than your average car... strangely enough I wasn't trying to catch a glimpse of growler from the vehicle beside me...NO!

What I did do was look at the billboards.

Of which was a picture of Mona Lisa.

Which got me to thinking.

That is a *really* boring fucking painting. How the fuck on earth did it *really* get the critical acclaim that it has?

Sure. It's a nice portrait. Whatever. I reckon there's been better, and based on that premise... there is still more to come.

So what maked Mona fucking Lisa so fucking special?

I have no fucking idea. I like to think of myself as an open and sensitive person, but on looking at the painting more closely... I realised I have nothing that I can identify with.

As such it makes the painting a rather surreal portrait. Surreal in the sense that it has garnered so much attention. Surreal that at the end of the day it is *only* a fucking portrait.

Mona fucking Lisa.

If I really cared, I could paint the next masterpiece.

Fortunately for me, I'm more happy to be in her company than to feel overpowered to paint her.

Besides... no matter how good a painter I was/am - I could *never* do her justice.

Mona Lisa? Fuck off! I have my own priceless work of art. Only this one is timely, relevant *and* sexy.

Unlike you. You repressed skank.

I'm wondering if I need someone to explain Mona Lisa to me... cause really... it's just *another* fucking painting.

I've better things in my life to focus on, than a collection of oils.

rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
5/12/2006 7:19 am

Mona doesn't have any eyebrows.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
5/12/2006 8:22 am

I always thought she needed a little lipstick. Maybe some blush across the cheekbones. Couple swipes of mascara. Maybe a few blonde highlights, layered cut. There. Now you've got yourself a masterpiece.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


Seriously_Real 49M

5/12/2006 8:56 am

She was the first of her kind is the primary thing. And then there's that "hundreds of years from now some spakker is going to bitch about my popularity" wry smile she has...

--Seriously


micahbiguns 52M

5/12/2006 10:18 am

fuck if I know also what is so special abstract art??


rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
5/12/2006 2:38 pm

    Quoting rm_1hotwahine:
    I always thought she needed a little lipstick. Maybe some blush across the cheekbones. Couple swipes of mascara. Maybe a few blonde highlights, layered cut. There. Now you've got yourself a masterpiece.
There, What would the critics think, just for you.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


Peche85 32F

5/12/2006 3:57 pm

doesnt it have something to do with the look on her face? I never understand art either. All I know is that all I can draw are stick figures. And they havn't changed since I was 4!


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
5/12/2006 4:42 pm

    Quoting Seriously_Real:
    She was the first of her kind is the primary thing. And then there's that "hundreds of years from now some spakker is going to bitch about my popularity" wry smile she has...

    --Seriously
I wish that A F F had that like smiley guy that rolls around laughing. But since they don't --->

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


impish_pixie 55F
6867 posts
5/12/2006 8:05 pm

The quirkiness of her smile - which hints that only minutes before she was giving Da Vinci the best blow job he'd ever had....

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn


frbnkslady 49F
6183 posts
5/12/2006 9:00 pm

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo Pixie T

T




chasingfun27 39M
1108 posts
5/13/2006 4:37 am

You drive a 4WD round Aucks? You fucking Remuera housewife!


bardicman 51M

5/13/2006 10:04 am

I wouldnt fuck her, However, She looks better over at [blog Daphner]



I am not dead yet


rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
5/13/2006 11:09 am

    Quoting bardicman:
    I wouldnt fuck her, However, She looks better over at [blog Daphner]
You so *would* fuck her, stop your lyin'...

I like her [blog DaphneR] however, she looks great as a blonde!

A


rm_LoyalCumpany 47M
3204 posts
5/13/2006 1:29 pm

Let me get this straight. You have a 4x4, possibly lifted, and yer NOT looking into and down at the cars next to you? What's the use of having one then?

I am JoJo the Circus Boy!


MisterPriapus 58M
6980 posts
5/13/2006 5:56 pm

I used to be a daily motorcycle rider, and every day I'd park it in approximately the same places.

By being focussed on my collection of oils, I had a pretty good idea when I'd need to add a pint or two...

.

Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.



And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!

Lately...

.


vanna4u 39F

5/15/2006 8:56 pm

Sorry, I've never seen anything by Shmart. But I don't think I'd want to. Ewwwww.


panda_moanium 48F  
195 posts
5/16/2006 3:46 am

Chasing
you and I may be the only one who gets that (remuera housewife)
obviously Bulg doesnt


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