Deliver me  

bulging_boy 50M
4912 posts
1/23/2006 4:32 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Deliver me

Don't get me wrong.

I'm all for care in the community.

But when care in the community goes wrong... I'm against it. I'm up in arms. I'm marching up the street collecting signatures for my petition against care in the community.

Care in the community? Get the fuck out!

Well... It's only natural right?

Take our postie for instance. Well... mine! My sweetheart isn't here yet and as I'm predominantly on my own, I guess technically it's my postie.

Interesting that I said our first tho - dontcha think?

Anyway. I digress.

Which is unusual for me. Normally I'm on track... on the topic... never veering.

No Sir! That's me. You can give me a topic and I'll keep talking about that single thing all day without once bringing anything else up.

So where was I?

Oh yeah. Our postie.

See... I'm lucky, or not... depends on how I look at it. But the reason I'm lucky is currently in New York. Mainly because that's where she lives. The reason I'm unlucky is because the reason I'm lucky is in New York. Mainly because New York is a fucking world away.

What was my point?

Oh that's right! Our fucking postie!

Not our postie that fucks. Although she probably does. Which I couldn't confirm, having never seen her fucking or participated. But I think never having seen her fuck would probably include me being a participant unless I fainted or wore dark glasses or something like that. Which I didn't.

So... I didn't fuck the postie... and can't be absolutely sure that she fucks.

However... she is our fucking postie.

Now because the reason I'm so lucky is in New York... we have to keep doing little things for each other to bring a smile to the others face. So far this has included many gifts from New York to New Zealand... but fuck all from New Zealand to New York.


Anyway. I have been waiting for a letter from New York for a few days. Well... longer than a few days, as I know when it was sent, and despite the logistical improbabilities... I started looking for that letter the day after it was sent.

Well... I guess it's possible that it could get there really really quickly.

But no. Not the day after or the day after that... or the day after that.


A full eleven days after it was sent, I found it in my letterbox.


As I looked at the letter more closely, I could see that someone had written on the front of the envelope.

No. Not the sender! Fer Fucks Sake! Someone else.

Someone who lived at a different address to me. A complete stranger!

This complete stranger wrote six things on the front of MY envelope.

Post Office. Please note not 45.

They had even drawn an arrow from the 45 (which they circled for emphasis) down to where the address had been written correctly.

I pondered this.

Why would this person do such a thing? I mean. The were local to me... probably a few houses up the road perhaps?

Why not just drop it in my letterbox and be done with it?

Why deface MY envelope?

Were they making a point? Did they take it to the Post Office themselves and hand it over the counter smugly?

Pointing out again. Please NOTE not 45!

What a waste of effort. This person sounds like a fucking nutcase to me. No doubt if they'd delivered it themselves, they would have waited until I arrived home so they could fume at me about the incompetence of the postal service.

Of course, I'd probably end up inviting them in for a cup of tea or something... just to shut them up, and next thing you know... I've got myself a new psycho mate.

So all in all... I'm glad they made the effort.

Still... what kind of note would the Post Office make? I'm thinking posters.

Hundreds of posters delivered all over New Zealand with NOT 45 written on it.

Not that it's really going to help.

I'm stuck with my care in the community postie who obviously can't read numbers.

rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
1/23/2006 6:24 am

"Not 45" is where we send nuclear waste. And posties. That can't read.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

fantasia_shares 48M/44F
4164 posts
1/23/2006 7:21 am

I'm glad you explained "postie" to us all Bulgy...FFS speak English, PLEASE!

Now, why on earth are the two of you WRITING AND MAILING LETTERS when you can use EMAIL???? I understand gifts, but c'mon, there are some serious impracticalities involved in real letters when you live 11 mail day apart.

FFS join the 21st century Bulgy!


You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman !

Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping!

And a MUST READ: [post 2294897]

Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog!

kyplowboy22 62M

1/23/2006 7:47 am

"Hey, Daphe, Trav....any ideas how we are gonna catch that squirrel runnin' 'round loose in Bungee's head? Me neither. Look at the way it makes his eyes dart around from side to side and his cheeks twitch! Poor spakker."


helga_hansen 50F
1987 posts
1/23/2006 8:41 am

Right... I have a card. I'm sending it to you. I now know you live at No 45. So far the envelope is addressed to Hobbit Boy, 45... I'll hopefully have the rest of the address by the time the wedding comes around.


Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

pinkplaytoyz 51F

1/23/2006 8:46 am

Having trouble with my own "postie"...I feel your pain. However, inconsiderate neighbors are another topic...
I think someone should develop a spray for that,
BadNeighborcide or something...
just a thought...

dasher121 37M

1/23/2006 8:51 am

*just shaking my head* hahaha what a world huh?

slidein2meplz 63F
1994 posts
1/23/2006 9:47 am

snail mail really sucks...Which is why I rarely ever use it anymore. All though, I can understand why you would be sending letters via the mail...cuz love letters are so much more special when you can actually hold it in your hand and see the penmanship...see the stationary it's written on...maybe it's been lightly sprayed with perfume...cry on it, hold it close to your heart. Ya can't really do that with email... and even printing it out...just isn't the same.

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~

TheQuietGuy2005 55M
2386 posts
1/23/2006 10:44 am

It occurs to me that you know where this kind and helpful neighbour lives. Might I suggest you send this fellow resident a nice little gift to thank him or her?

I'm thinking you could take a box and put in lots of that lovely sparkly, glittery packaging stuff that always looks so pretty and, coincidentally, gets everywhere (I remember once finding some on some butter in my fridge). I wouldn't bother putting anything else in, just the glitter

As for the postie, I suggest that you ignore her shortcomings, irrespective of her sexual proclivities. Take any kind of action against her and 11 days could end up seeming like express mail. And that's assuming she hasn't taken lessons from the American posties!

FeistySyn 53F

1/23/2006 11:40 am

WTF is a Postie? cereal? ... LOL

Apparently the depth of depravity here is bottomless... don't you feel right at home?

Sister_Act_4_You 39F/39F

1/23/2006 12:46 pm


::: reaching for my NZ = English translation dictionary :::

Let me get back to you on that, okay?

Poppet L

EyeCandy33333 45F
761 posts
1/23/2006 3:29 pm

Yeh I was thinking he was talking about Blondie and it was kind of code or something--"postie"--which when I read "having never seen her fucking or participated. But I think never having seen her fuck would probably include me being a participant unless I fainted or wore dark glasses or something like that. Which I didn't. "-I was thinking what????????

southrnpeach333 51F

1/23/2006 3:44 pm

I say we all send this person who is "not 45" a nice note from all of us thanking them for thier diligence in keeping the post moving so efficiently!

impish_pixie 55F
6867 posts
1/23/2006 4:06 pm

OMG...This is starting to look really bad. Losing your focus...ranting and raving. Just don't go "postal"....that would make things much worse.

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

panda_moanium 48F  
196 posts
1/23/2006 4:22 pm

nothing whatsoever to do with this post sorry folks
(and a postie is a mailman - or in this case woman)
gold is coming to nz
and quite possibly in nz
and this being the only place you get our messages lately am covering all options

sorry for the interruption - as you were

Peche85 32F

1/23/2006 4:40 pm


I worked at NZ Post just before xmas. Its crazy the amount of envelopes that come back with things like that! But a lot of them actually get sent to the wrong town! You would think that someone would have realised the mistake since the letter goes through about 8 different people lol.

Maybe your neighbour sent it back so that the postie new she had fucked up? Although personally I would rather walk a couple of houses down the street to deliver the letter to you than go all the way to a mail box to post it to you!

barbiebunny 37F
5597 posts
1/23/2006 7:59 pm

Is a postie like a post it? Im confused U NZ..

Its good to be...ME

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:29 am

Well that could certainly explain the time it took to get to me!



bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:29 am


You and Trav been talking again haven't ya?


I tell ya it's a conspiracy.

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:31 am

awww Fantasia,

I would have picked you for the romantic sort. One who would appreciate perfumed letters and hand written sonnets.

Oh well...

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:32 am

and we all know why you want to catch that squirrel don't we KY!

You've been warned about your beastiality leanings.


Leave the squirrel alone

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:33 am

You got it Helga...

Just don't send money ok?

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:46 am

Pink that's a damned good idea!

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:46 am

LOL Dashman,

Tell me about it!

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:48 am

You got it Slide,

Nothing beats holding a handwritten letter... perfumed... maybe even lipstick kissed...

and that's just the one I send to her!


bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:49 am


I'm at a loss. I'm afraid even to go looking for NOT 45... just incase I find them.

I mean... what then?


bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:51 am

QuietGuy... good advice indeed.

I'd hate to do anything to make it take any longer than it already has!

Fucks sake!!

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:53 am


LOL A cereal???

Nooooo! A postie is a mailman.


Translation courtesy of LiBlonde97

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:56 am

LOL Poppet L

Did the dictionary help?

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:57 am

Yeah Spicy,

I'm just trying to work out how to make pepper glittery.


bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 2:58 am

LOL Candy,

Well... she did make me faint... on more than one occasion.



bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 3:03 am

Yeah southernpeach,

And we should get them a little badge as well!


bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 3:05 am

I never go postal pixie,

It takes too long to do anything

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 3:06 am

Gold is coming in NZ Hots?


Sorry... I've been flat out with work and haven't had much of a chance to get back to you.

I promise I'll get in touch.


bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 3:13 am

I'm the same Peche,

I'd rather deliver it myself. I mean it was *obviously* a mistake... the envelope was addressed *perfectly*

But yeah a different town?

That's DUMB


Hey maybe you can come deliver my mail?

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 3:14 am

Fucks sake Barbs,

a postie is short for postman or post woman or postal worker...


not a fucking post it note!


tillerbabe 57F

1/24/2006 4:01 am

"Not 45" to "Area 51"..i'm sure that is an alien's handwriting onthe envelope.....

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
1/24/2006 11:00 am

yeah, yeah, bla bla bla...
At least since he can't see my comments I don't have to actually READ this shit anymore.

I'm just afraid that, if they ever become visible, it's gonna be like when a bunch of people are talking in a room and suddenly it gets quiet and you inadvertently broadcast "So then I said, take your finger outta there!" to the entire office.

Yeah, whatever. Being invisible sucks sometimes.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

aascrompn 43M
6444 posts
1/24/2006 12:18 pm

It took me about 3/4 of the way through this post to figure out what a postie is...

bardicman 51M

1/24/2006 1:34 pm

posties? Isnt that a breakfast cereal?

I am not dead yet

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 4:34 pm

LOL Tiller,

You could be right. It did have a rather uncanny glow.

bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 4:38 pm

I wouldn't feel bad aas,

Some people such as the next spakker read it ALL the way through and still didn't work it out!


bulging_boy 50M

1/24/2006 4:40 pm

Well Bard,

I know you wouldn't mind a bowl full of this postie in the morning.

But other than that... NO!!!

rm_jynxgurl 31F
209 posts
1/24/2006 6:58 pm

lol they probably did it just to be an ass. Or they are completely socially incompetant. one or the other.

"Of course, I'd probably end up inviting them in for a cup of tea or something... just to shut them up, and next thing you know... I've got myself a new psycho mate." and what are you trying to say? that you don't want to be friends with psychos? *sniff* your gonna make me cry...

You know insane people will one day rule the world, if you can't beat them, join them!! lol see here The Benefits of Insanity

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
1/24/2006 9:14 pm

"I wouldn't feel bad ass"? You actually said to someone "I wouldn't feel bad ass"? I've got one word for you:


Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

Peche85 32F

1/24/2006 11:57 pm

LOL Bulge! Me deliver mail! I would probably get hit by a car leaving the mailroom on my bike or have to stop after 10 mins and get a taxi to get it there

Peche85 32F

1/25/2006 3:49 pm

(I've ridden a bike once in the past 8 years lol)

fantasia_shares 48M/44F
4164 posts
1/25/2006 7:14 pm

LOL...Bulgy...romantic to a point, but still practical. I really am far too practical AND impatient to wait eleven days for something that could take less than 11 seconds. I mean, haven't you two heard of "instant messaging?"

*thinks someone ought to post a New Zealand lexicon with a direct link from Bulgy's blog*



You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman !

Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping!

And a MUST READ: [post 2294897]

Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog!

Sorceror07 55M

1/25/2006 9:35 pm

sorry to interrupt, we have an emergency situation Something UGLY here in blogville and TheLilFondler needs our help please go to TheLilFondler 's blog and show your support... she's being harrassed and stalked and needs EVERYONE's help, now!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...

panda_moanium 48F  
196 posts
1/26/2006 12:31 am

i have visions of little yellow sticky people riding round the streets on their bikes


DTduzDallas 51F

1/26/2006 1:55 am

what's a postie?

bulging_boy 50M

1/26/2006 4:48 am


I'm very selective about the psycho's I'm friends with.

Of course if you wanna... jump on board!

bulging_boy 50M

1/26/2006 4:50 am

Pffffft Peche!

You know you'd be great at it.

C'mon... I'm waiting for my mail


bulging_boy 50M

1/26/2006 4:51 am


You're more than qualified then!!!

C'mon... I'm still waiting!


bulging_boy 50M

1/26/2006 4:54 am



Sending a letter and receiving one is pretty damned awesome. Unless it's a bill... but I'm not talking about one of those


bulging_boy 50M

1/26/2006 4:55 am

Thanks for the update Sorceror

bulging_boy 50M

1/26/2006 4:56 am

No need to be confused Mz H,

I'm glad I got the letter. It was more than worth the wait.

bulging_boy 50M

1/26/2006 4:59 am

Do you mean sticky as in ummm.... getting stuff stuck to them?

or like little bits of wood.

either way... it would make an interesting sight


bulging_boy 50M

1/26/2006 5:01 am


A postie is like a monkey


onelittlesecret 34M
1579 posts
1/27/2006 11:32 am


bulging_boy 50M

2/1/2006 4:42 am


That's now TWO little secrets you have!

What the fuck was that???


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