Blast from the past  

bones365 45M
12 posts
8/27/2006 8:47 pm

Last Read:
9/8/2006 3:24 pm

Blast from the past

Today I ran into my ex-girlfriend at work. I thought we had gotten to the talking stage after our break up. It wasn't a particularly bad break up, as far as they are concerned. No yelling, no angry words. She chose to bail on me when I needed her most. I'm sure her account is different. I'm not here to talk about that though.

Now if I see you at work, you're sick or injured. She was sick. Nothing big, just a chronic problem she has that flairs up occasionally. Bad nerves, a reminder of her past life. My first reaction was shock. I don't want to see anyone I know sick or injured, especially someone i cared for very deeply.

The kicker was the guy she was with. She didn't bother to introduce him, even asked him to leave the room while we talked. From the outside, it would appear he's just a friend. From the inside, i knew better.

I think everyone has one person from thier past that can blow their mind. Robs you of conscious thought. Someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Someone your life was intertwined with. Someone that you cared for with every fiber of your being.

They say you always remember the good times, never the bad. No, I remember the bad pretty vividly. The arguements, the fights, the harsh words. But I also remember the "moments". Little things, like brushing the hair away from her face while she slept. Holding her hand. Going to sleep holding her. The not being able to sleep the first night we were apart. The confusion of not knowing what she's so pissed about, something as simple as not answering my phone while in class. The feeling of having the rug pulled out from under me that fatefull night.

So today was a gut check. I can sit on my ass and feel sorry for myself, or I can stand up and brush myself off, asking if that's the best you have. I hope the best for her and that her new romance blooms.

twirly_girl 48F

8/27/2006 9:49 pm

Getting back up and brushing yourself off is the best thing.
I know exactly how you feel though. I think focusing on the
bad is a defense mechanism to keep from missing them so much.
At least it is for me.

I enjoyed your post.


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