Weird Sex  

blastngoff 54M
55 posts
7/9/2006 7:49 am
Weird Sex

So I am sitting thinking constantly about sex because, after all, this is a supposed site that deals with that topic on varying levels. The thoughts of the best, the worst, the longest, the shortest, and of course the strangest or weirdest sex enter the process. Now I know that for some folks, weird sex is probably an everyday thing and that nothing that I would have to write about would shock them nor would it even enter the slightest bit onto their scale of weirdness, but for a normal or maybe a sub-normal person like me, two experiences came to mind. The first is "sticky fingers" and the second is "dogs always smell butts". Sticky fingers started out as a sort of normal night, a bunch of guys out on the town enjoying food, fun, and of course, drinks. Well, like most guys we seem to at times drift to the strip joints and peep show part of town because after a few drinks those places are like magnets. So I get into this peep show place and being naive, I really don't know what it is all about but of course, being a guy I am never going to admit that I am not in the know on these things, so I go on over to these telephone booth looking stalls that have quarter movies listed on the outside door. I still have no idea as to what I am doing, but what the heck I am not turning back and decide to open the door and enter. To my surprise it is completely pitch black in there and my eyes have yet to adjust to the light, so I am like blind. I am groping around in this state trying to find something to sit on or latch onto after the door closes. I am using my hand like some kind of probe, when it falls upon something that feels like a bench to sit on. But as my hand is going over the top of this bench to secure a place to sit, what should it run across but some kind of slimy, sticky liquid that someone must have dumped there on a previous visit and decided to leave as a kind of sick gift. I immediately drew my hand back after its encounter with the goo, but it was too late, the damage had been done. Needless to say, I did not get the chance to watch any of the fine adult entertainment at a quarter a shot and instead, spent a long while in the restroom boiling my hand with hot water in the sink. I never admitted to the incident since I didn't want to provide the rest of the gang with joke fodder for the rest of the night. While that was not directly related to a sex act, it still falls within the weird sex experience category. The second incident is living proof that dogs always smell butts, or is it nuts? Now in my younger days (20's) I probably went to strip clubs a bit much since this also kind of involves a strip joing. Yes, I have outgrown them by now and it is out of my blood except for private showings which I suppose, are always welcome. Anyway, I talk to this tall blonde, Slavic goddess from Croatia who is dancing at this club and we are kind of hitting it off. I decide that I have had enough to drink and have spent enough money, so it is time to go home. She tells me to write down my number and address and that after she gets off from work at 4am, that she will call me, grab a cab, and come over. I'm thinking that it will never happen, but being a stupid guy I comply to her wishes and in retrospect, giving my name, number, and address to a complete stranger was probably not a good thing to do, but when you have had a couple, it sound like the right thing to do. Anyway, at about 5am I get a call and she is in the cab sitting in front of my apartment building waiting to be let in. So I open up the door and there she is..still blonde and good looking, but with this little Pekinese dog that she is holding. I tell her I don't mind the dog, so she lets it go and it is running around the apartment while we are having a drink, talking, and getting to know each other a little better. Well, things lead to things and we end up back in the bedroom having sex. This is where the weird part comes I am on top going at it when this damn dog jumps up on the bed and starts sniffing butt and licking anything and everything it can get it tongue on that is connected to our genitals. I guess it was attracted to the scent or something...there is nothing more annoying or distracting than having a little dog constantly jumping on the bed, me having to push it away and then it jumping back up on the bed again. That and the sniffing and licking was a bit too much. I have done three ways but have never envisioned that one of the participants would be a Pekinese. I finally had to stop the show, get up and get the damn thing some food and water and then come back and lock the door while it whined and pawed on the other side. So there are two of the weirdest things that have happened to me that somehow involved sex. Not much to write about, but to me strange.

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