The Full Monty  

blastngoff 54M
55 posts
7/9/2006 12:33 am
The Full Monty

Now you are probably thinking that the title would have something to do about a middle aged guy taking off his clothes during a strip tease in front of a bevy of screaming women and that could be the case minus the bevy of women of course. Wow, to be back in civilization after spending 8 days in solitary confinement (back home in Illinois on vacation). There is not much to do in rural Illinois unless of course you like watch corn grow and have some kind of romantic interlude with a lonely sheep. Not that I am knocking that if you are so inclined and there was that incident that I had with the Nubian goats at the petting zoo. Now that makes two places I have been banned: petting zoos and Toys R' Us..something at that place about the security camera and me with a Furby. I deny it all. I'm still waiting for that first sexual experience via AdultFriendFinder...what a virgin I am. I would say make a movie, but I think that they already did something about a 40 year old virgin. That brings up the whole issue about re-virginization. Is it possible or just a term for not getting any? I thought for a minute that it could be that I don't have a penis pic posted like everyone else on my profile, but was kind of shy about showing off the whole 2 inches. I do hate to be a show off and make others who do the size comparison feel under-endowed. But when you have it, maybe you should just go out there and flaunt it. I did try some "natural male enhancement" cream, but something tells me that you shouldn't use Ultra Deep Heat rub anywhere near the genital area nor accidently confuse it early in the morning as your tube of toothpaste. They have to start posting larger warnings on that label about how hot that stuff really gets and how it is hard to wash away. So I have given up on that route. Maybe it is due to the fact that I haven't sent out a thousand form e-mails or haven't had the guts to reply to the ones that I have received. Now that could be it. That or maybe it is because I am not bi. Damn the luck. If I were a bi-female I would have it made. All of the couples are looking for one of them...just call me Dorothy and throw on a skirt, maybe shave and I could be in the game. That is kind of what it feels like..there is a game going on and everyone is on the field playing and having a good time and the coach has benched me..all due to my physical handicap of having a one-incher. I'm being discriminated that fair? I'm like on the sidelines watching and waiting. AdultFriendFinder must be a spectator sport. Can I help it that the last time I got to play that I had a violation and ran the wrong way? I didn't know that the "game" had rules. Man, that penalty kick did kind of sting. High heels should be outlawed in any sport. I should throw in the towel but since I am wearing it and don't want to expose myself at the moment, I will continue on bravely fighting against penis discrimination; boldly going where no man dares, fighting for truth and the American way. I am the super hero of all one-inchers out there. X-Men unite.

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