Confession Time Again: What are your worst traits?  

bipolybabe 56F
10715 posts
7/30/2006 12:03 am

Last Read:
8/2/2006 5:18 am

Confession Time Again: What are your worst traits?


It's a good thing I've given up forever the right to emasculate men, thanks to the PAX International workshops on "Understanding Men." (See What a Relief Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women and Celebrating Men Sex.)

In our culture, there's a sort of general permission to knock men down a notch or two. You see it most clearly in TV sitcoms like "Home Improvement" or "Everybody Loves Raymond," where the dad is portrayed as a bumbler who never quite gets things right while the mom is one sharp cookie.

Because men do control the majority of the world's political and economic power, it's been considered okay in our culture to deflate their egos, cut back on the "testosterone poisoning" of the planet, etc.

I confess that I have been a "Grade A" Castrator of Men. I used to think it was funny how incredibly sharp was my tongue. One slash and a man would slink away, holding his cojones in his hand.

My evil spirit that derives glee from how horrible I can be has imagined all sorts of macabre things I could say if my lover called me today.

If he called and asked, "What've you been up to, honey?" pretending that all is sweetness and light, as if he hasn't royally offended The Goddess here, I'd reply in dulcet tones:

"Oh not much, honey," I'd say, "besides...

* Revealing in my blog the identity of The Dick Formerly Known as My Live-In Penis for the scum-sucking scoundrel you are

* Bagging all your belongings and tossing them out into the street

* Looking immediately for a new boyfriend ."

None of these things are true, by the way. I've actually had a good day: Rode my bike, talked to one of my closest friends about why I draw a lover close at the same time as pushing him away and wrote another chapter of my book.

So, it's a good thing I've given up forever the right to emasculate men or I might say the nasty, untrue things to my lover and then later regret what a bitch I can be.

So, having a sharp tongue that I have used to wound others is one of my worst character traits. I don't always catch myself before the stuff comes out, but in this case, I've had time to consider whether I really want to be intentionally cruel or not. I know the impulse is there. I don't judge myself as bad for having mean thoughts. I observe them and can choose whether to air them or not. I choose not to. This time. Because the scum sucker hasn't called me!

Now, it's your turn for confession. It's Sunday, after all. It does the spirit good to let this stuff go.

What are your worst personality traits? And have you done anything to change those traits?


© 2006 AskAphrodite aka BiPolyBabe

BPB

Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!



rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
7/30/2006 12:50 am

Procrastinator, thats the worst at the moment. I am so behind on things right now I am going to be late for my own funeral. Ima trying to catch up.


TheRealThing655 49F
9558 posts
7/30/2006 1:05 am

My worst trait...I care too much about others feelings before my own. Saying "I'm sorry" too much when it really isn't my fault.
Trying to please all the time...I'm finally getting better at standing up for myself.


wanabemyslut69 47M

7/30/2006 2:04 am

I'm hyper-critical of myself. I spend way too much time criticizing my choices in my life. I need to make a choice and give myself a little credit when its a good one. Then again, I haven't made any good decisions recently.... grrr i did it again... see what I mean?


toothysmile 51M
16517 posts
7/30/2006 6:11 am

my worse trait is that i get upset if i leave a comment on someone's blog and she won't respond to it!... lol...
[wink]
kisses.


rm_FreeDave2000 61M

7/30/2006 6:55 am

BPB we should start an encounter group, because my worst character flaw is that I'm drawn to emasculating harsh tongued women. I'm talking about women who cruelly exploiting a man faults for sport, because it makes them feel smart and clever, or as a defense mechanism. Maybe I'm suffering from something like white man's guilt. Where as a man, I think that I'm some how making up for the injustices of my gender. I'm sure that I have self-esteem issues tied to it. Plus I really like to attention of women and if they are poking fun at me, even cruel fun, they are paying attention to me. But I'll just say that I'm reformed. The dynamic I have with women lately is very healthy and mutually rewarding.
Dave


wickedeasy 68F  
30939 posts
7/30/2006 7:16 am

i'm too emotional and over analytical - i can hear the same words one day and laugh, hear them them next day and assume my world is coming to an end

btw - when i was younger i was known for being a quick wit - often at the expense of another's feelings

i've learned the power of words -

but sometimes, i still go for the jugular -



You cannot conceive the many without the one.


cobra70118 106M

7/30/2006 8:19 am

I like myself the way I am... got tired of doing seminars for this, seminars for that... when somethin comes up I'll look at myself first.

I like who I am. An I like being a guy!


meerkittykat 43F

7/30/2006 8:20 am

I'm a sarcastic bitch. Some people can handle and comprehend a dry sense of humour, but some really can't and take everything quite at face value; and of course get insulted. I have some difficulty shutting off the sarcasm and can take it too far.

gawd, every year it's part of my resolution to be less sarcastic. It's another reason I started blogging; to empty out all the sarcasm here where people won't throw stuff at me.


Rideandfun1000 61M

7/30/2006 8:26 am

Like you, I have a very sharp tongue, and I fear using it because (from my blog [post 310333] ): "The spoken word is alive with power, and once a harsh word is launched, it cannot be retrieved - there is no button to push to detonate it before it reaches its target. You can helplessly watch it cut into a person's heart knowing you should not have said it. "I didn't mean it" doesn't heal the wound. It will still leave a scar."...


jst4fun915 35F

7/30/2006 9:00 am

My anxiety, which is a big issue with my relationship with Jersey, because I can't just relax and live in the moment. That's probably my biggest flaw. Of course, I have other traits, like needing to be the center of attention, and blurting out whatever comes to mind, that can be a pain in the ass.


makesupregnant 49M
238 posts
7/30/2006 9:28 am

My worst traits are my best traits.
My best traits are boring I suppose, lol.


spacecadet561 61M

7/30/2006 9:56 am

    Quoting wanabemyslut69:
    I'm hyper-critical of myself. I spend way too much time criticizing my choices in my life. I need to make a choice and give myself a little credit when its a good one. Then again, I haven't made any good decisions recently.... grrr i did it again... see what I mean?
That about sums it up for me, too.

SpaceCadetù


AstirRelicLatah 65M
1993 posts
7/30/2006 9:59 am

I'm way to blunt. I tend to let people know exactly what's on my mind in a sometimes non-diplomatic manner. I attempt to wait 24 hours before making any "constructive" comment today.

Sometimes it would help for men to not take themselves so seriously. The truth is at least for me, my job in life is to provide entertainment for others through stupid male tricks. I'm very good at it and have fun along the way. *grin*


frassy_sass 55F

7/30/2006 11:13 am

I am a very good natured person and it takes alot to make me angry. There are certain individuals who for what ever reasons believe they can bulldoze over people. This is were my horrendous temper will take over and diplomacy goes out the door.


Lovin_U_4_Fun 55F

7/30/2006 11:50 am

Yes... and I believe it is one of the issues you are addressing here. Instead of saying, "I miss you" or I want to spend time with you," I used to get mad.

Since I became aware of this and the reality of how much easier it is to fess up to my feelings instead of deal with the aftermath of conflict, life has been much better. I feel better about who I am and how I treat people.

This is an example I'm almost afraid to admit, because the feelings were too early. (I hadn't even met the guy at that point!) We had made arrangements to meet, he canceled because of business, then left town because of business, etc.

I found myself feeling like a two year old. Mad -- and wanting to throw my shoes at the guy! (This is something I've never done before!) I thought, if I had this two-year old in front of me now, what would I tell her?

Well, I would teach her to use the words she has and help her express herself, as opposed to throwing shoes.

So... that's what I did. I told the guy I *wanted* to throw my shoes at him, and... realized that I would rather use words, realized I had invested too much too soon and needed to back off a bit.

I think he heard me.

In any case, it felt much better than throwing my shoes.


angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
7/30/2006 12:19 pm

I'm a procrastinator too! I'm never late....always on time. But I just put off doing projects until I have to really burn the midnight oil. I work better under pressure....see how I make excuses for myself??? lol


Greekgirl4u06 40F

7/30/2006 3:07 pm

geesh, where do i begin? got until next sunday to read them all? lol, ok im not that bad i swear! but i procrastinate too,and i have a tendency to be fickle, which i think is the worst of all.


bipolybabe 56F

7/30/2006 3:23 pm

While being a verbal one-woman hit squad is ONE of "my bad", the worst trait, I think, is my impatience.

I WANT WHAT I WANT, AND I WANT IT NOW.

The best thing to I can do with what Lovin_U_4_Fun (above) calls this "two-year-old" is to recognize when she shows up and try to redirect her temper tantrum tendency to something more positive.

BPB

BPB

Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!


florallei 100F

7/30/2006 7:05 pm

Well according to at least a few of my ex partners...I apparently don't set boundaries...too friendly...too approachable...a flirt...too trusting...too naive...gawwwwwwwwd stop me anytime...I have many...difficult to say "no" to anyone...a people pleaser but have learned over the years...much better now...but has a tendency to offer help often...
flo


rm_agathon12 47M
1311 posts
7/30/2006 11:01 pm

BPB,

I hope you don't mind the personal question but...are you a Scorpio? Your list sounds an awful lot like mine and I'm an uber-Scorpio (apparently...NSAAddict is the one who put me on to this idea). When angered or wounded I can be vile.


bipolybabe replies on 7/31/2006 9:44 pm:
Nope. I'm one damn stubborn Capricorn, on the cusp of Aquarius or something. But, it's the stubbornness and the desire to be "right" even if being right doesn't help me much that catches me up.

On the upside, I've heard that Caps are very open about their sexuality, and that certainly fits here.

BPB

TheCliticals 36F/F

7/30/2006 11:34 pm

I'm almost perfect, but Sandy snores too much

SO glad that life is good for you

Please read [post 448393] and give to the appeal


blueguy1051 61M

7/31/2006 8:42 am

I think that the male bashing is an over reaction and gets carried too far sometimes. Of course, a lot of the fools on this site provide a lot of evidence that some men shouldn't be allowed to breathe, let alone breed.

I'm a procrastinator, and have no patience with idiots. Is that a fault?


rm_nhtyger 40M
53 posts
7/31/2006 8:53 am

Yes, some men are full of themselves. I resent the notion that it's okay to impugn men for being men. Watch commercials and you'll see that a vast number of them portray men as middle age children, dolts and oafs. It's popular to portray us all as a bunch of Homer Simpsons. We're taught from a young age to suck it all up and show no emotion and then we're criticized for not being cerebral. Bologna.

In fact, if you look at my generation, (I'm 2 women advance more quickly in school, earn more degrees, are more likely to advance to the executive level in their career, and as for looks, it's shocking how many women are completely full of themselves today. Even more shocking, some of these self absorbed women who seem to think their every man's desire and fantasy are grotesquely overweight and seem to care not all about their appearance.

Mind you, I'm not a misogynist, men do it, too. But it's fashionable to knock down men. I try to dole out my anger equally.


rm_rover153 60M
2900 posts
7/31/2006 11:08 am

I think responding without thinking of the repercussions or being too harsh with my response. I am The Pres. of an almost 400 member organization and many times I forget that diplomacy and patience is often more important than getting my point across in the heat of the moment. Same with home issues from time to time. Emotions often "muddy things up" so badly that the situation is irreparable. So I take a "deep cleansing breath" and try to think before I open my mouth and insert my foot.

I was thinking of you and your "LIP" this morning on my way to work and just hope you will each have patience with each other. Divorces and kids bring out the worst in us all.

XO [/text]


totally worn out and screaming
"WOO HOO what a ride!" Have a wonderful day!


bustybettyboop 51F  
59326 posts
7/31/2006 6:33 pm

my worst habit has been i was a doormat to people..i was too nice! and everyone knew it and took advantage of me..but recently i got fed up with being like that. so now i'm getting better at saying,"NO!" I'M GLAD TOO!

..just join me on my blog bustybettyboop and still looking for some hot,sexy,creative contestants for my next contest...come join us! need a blog mentor or want to be one?


Lovin_U_4_Fun 55F

7/31/2006 8:07 pm

BPB, You got it! That *is* the best you can do. The idea is to find a partner who accepts this and deals with it... just like you try to accept and deal with the things he/she is working on!

My teacher says things like:

-We only change in 5% increments, so expect to have to keep working at it for a while

-We draw these experiences into our lives so that we *can* choose to be different *and* we will keep drawing these experiences to ourselves until we *do* choose to behave differently. (That motivates me!)

-And, she says to give to your partner the thing that you are wanting. In this example, if you are wanting him to come talk to you, go talk to him.

All I can say is that my life and relationships have improved vastly since I took these things to heart.


Interestingly enough, what started this woman on her journey was... the study of the breath! Thought you might like to know that!


bipolybabe replies on 7/31/2006 9:49 pm:
Thank you so much, Lovin_U_4_Fun, for your support in trying to get me on the right track.

I really believe in the power of breathing, like your teacher.

And, you'll be happy to know that I tried again, because what I needed is to know that he cared, so I reached out to let him know that I care, and he heard me.

It doesn't mean life is perfect or that it will be a fairy tale happy ending, but we recognize we're human. We fuck up. We try again.

Anyway, I'm excited about waking him for coffee and a blowjob tomorrow. I love his body!

BPB

Lovin_U_4_Fun 55F

8/1/2006 4:42 pm

Yeah! I'm glad!


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