She's out there... somewhere...  

bigandtallreturn 38M
1538 posts
2/19/2006 7:58 pm

Last Read:
5/7/2006 8:11 am

She's out there... somewhere...


I know she's out there. I know she exists. Or, I hope she exists.

Who is this "she" I'm referring to?

The woman of my dreams. The woman I've dreamed of. The woman who one day will be my partner for life. I have no clue what she looks like, or her personality, or her strengths and faults, but she's out there.

The idea of marriage used to not appeal to me, in large part because I used to think of myself as such a loser that I figured NO woman would want me. (I had very low self-esteem as a teenager, due to being severely bullied and a really bad case of acne. Those were not happy years by any means. Even now, I sometimes have to remind myself that I'm not that bad.) I always saw myself as the living embodiment of Desperado: the misunderstood loner who didn't know how to love, or just didn't see the value in it.

But now, as I got older and I began to actually date and have sexual and dating relations, I can see myself actually being a husband to a woman. (But not a father. A stepfather, maybe, but for sure not a biological father.) I can vision that dream wedding (which I wrote about a few weeks back). I can dream about growing old with someone special.

When me and my Adult Friend watched Big Fish a while back, there was one scene where a dying Albert Finney was in the bathtub, and Jessica Lange jumps in the tub and they embrace. My AF mentioned that she heard old love was far more richer and more satisfying and fulfilling than young love. If that's the case (and it must be true, since my parents are still together), it's something I want to know firsthand for myself.

But of course, that begs the question... where is she?

Maybe she's a young college student, only beginning her journey through adulthood. Maybe she's my age, struggling to find a job. Maybe she's older, and going through a divorce and wondering if love will shine down on her again.

Maybe she's right next door. Maybe she's halfway around the world. Maybe she's in Honolulu, or
San Francisco, or Ashtabula. (Bonus points if you can name the song those lyrics came from.) But wherever she is, she's out there. I know it. I used to not believe that, but I do now.

And I'm going to find her someday.

"Today may be the first day of the rest of your life, unless you live on the other side of the International Date Line, then yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life."- Larry Andersen


PassionKisses4Me 45F

2/20/2006 6:55 am

Awwww baby you have such a wonderful soul and I know you will find your dream girl...just when you least expect it...never give up hope...hugs and kisses to you

~Becky~


PrincessKarma 45F
6188 posts
2/21/2006 10:38 pm

She's out there somewhere, wondering where you are I know you'll find each other soon.

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma


Become a member to create a blog