A bit red...  

bi1curiousgrrrl 50F
42 posts
5/16/2006 11:15 am

Last Read:
5/20/2006 8:48 pm

A bit red...

First, let me preface this by saying that part of my personality is that I'm a bit shy/timid/reticent. Once I'm comfortable I'm fine and it's hard to shut me up, but when faced with meeting new people I'm often quiet, shy, seemingly a bit aloof. It's really just being a bit reserved until I know someone. This is just a little awkward. I really like the idea of someone knowing where I'm coming from in my head before meeting me and allowing all the appearance crap come into it, but it's still a bit backward in a way.

I had a really bad day yesterday, ego-wise... I'm not sure why, possibly just a hormonal trough or something but I just felt horrible and unattractive. I'm sure this is normal, but I typically don't find myself answering email on AdultFriendFinder when I feel that way.

I'm pretty shy anyway, and generally I need a bit of patience from anyone who wants to meet me from an ad on this thing. I'm really very open once I get past that initial discomfort but I think it's normal for anyone who isn't used to this sort of forum.

So anyway, there I was, staring at a mailbox full of UBERcuteness wanting to meet up and I just freaked out on myself. I guess I just didn't want to waste anyone's time, nor be disappointed when I see that look... you know the one... the one that says, "Gee, she's not all that." Yeah I've seen it before. It's not good for anyone's ego.

Not that it would bother me for long, I'm rather secure that anyone would be lucky to have me for a friend... much less a friend with benefits... but yesterday I just couldn't take it. I guess I should have a 24-hour rule about answering email.

Now that I've finally got a little bit of time to spend maybe I'll get to arrange a meet up or something. I can't believe how completely out of control my schedule has been. It's not like I've been doing crazy back flips, it's just trying to manage my time, moving, mom's time, the house, the meals, the new job search, yeah... it's just been absolutely crazy!

rm_hawkakaruss 44M

5/20/2006 3:27 am

Hello and I hope life looks up to you

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