My thoughts after a date....  

beewulf9 39M
452 posts
1/30/2006 9:26 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My thoughts after a date....

I went out today with a friend and over drinks had a conversation about women. (This is where you really see how silly I am about the topic =P )

My friend said that she designates a guy as a friend or potential mate from the first meeting. Which means if I wanted to kiss her I would be completely out of luck because there was some wall put up saying "Steven is friend material and nothing else."

--- These are not direct quotes but impressions that I was left with regarding this topic ---

Steven: "Have you ever had an experience where a friend invited you to be more than friends?"

Her: "No!"

Steven: "Do you want your mate to be your friend?"

Her: "Yes."

Discussion fizzles into other topics.

But hearing what my friend said left me feeling inadequate regarding how I flirt. What I am hearing from her is: Steven letting me know that you found me amazing on the first meeting was crucial; even though I really want a friend who I have sex with into the extended future.

On the other hand, lol, I have truly thought that first impressions are always too damn vague. Typically they are hurried affairs where you get the details out of the way but you don't see the person clearly. Which means the person I may or may not like must be examined, and over an extended period I learn about them. Hopefully by the third or fourth meeting I get to know about them a lot better, and I figure out if I want to flirt with them. That way expressing: Hey! I find you a cool person, and I find you amazing enough that I want to be intimate with you.

In hindsight maybe I have missed opportunities by not flirting on the first contact with some very wonderful women.

However, I am retrospectively thinking is she worth my time and energy to demonstrate that a lover/partner who was a friend first can be very magical?

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
1/31/2006 3:39 am


It doesnt matter what you do, we just have a sense to make you what we feel on the first date

Purry {=}


Sister_Act_4_You 39F/39F

1/31/2006 11:28 am

I honestly don't know....the relationships that I have been in just sort of happened. I am a proponent of chemistry, just knowing that you somehow 'click' with that person, and that usually happens early on. It's there or it is not.

However, I have known of friends who started off very casually and things developed. When you think about the complexities that go into how people choose one another, it is a wonder any of us ever manage to hook up, no? lol!

beewulf9 39M

1/31/2006 1:31 pm

lol well shucks! Although that knowledge removes my concerns regarding the above. Thanks for the words Purry. =)

Louisa, I think you are saying some very truthful and insightful things regarding being with someone. Another component to that chemistry is choice. Do I want to give this a chance to be something significant.

I don't know at the end of the day I realize I don't know very much. =P

beewulf9 39M

1/31/2006 4:22 pm


Thank you for your added words they are very sage like.

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