Untitled Masterpiece (or simply....ROFL)  

bardicman 51M
7540 posts
2/18/2006 3:28 pm

Last Read:
4/12/2006 4:29 pm

Untitled Masterpiece (or simply....ROFL)

I'm not here for you
I came for my daughter
You smell like a cunt
on a week dead otter

condescending looks?
from you? that is wrong
sitting half naked
with a bong in a thong

smoking a bong
wearing a thong
starring at me
wanting some schlong
it doesn't seem right
so that makes it wrong?

You claim your gash
is oozing now
you want some beef
I'm not a cow

so take your
and take your hash
and take your nasty
oozing gash

Grab your batteries
your vibe-o-rater
or a cucumber
or a big potater

Ha Ha bitch
I said potater
You make me sick
I'll see you later

I am not dead yet

LadytoPleaseYou 65F
5447 posts
2/18/2006 5:08 pm

WOW Bard...had some bad dates lately?

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?

themisskrissy 57F
2302 posts
2/18/2006 5:56 pm

hi honey!!!

Virtue Alone Ennobles

pinkplaytoyz 51F

2/18/2006 5:59 pm

feeling frivolous, are you?!!!lol

LustyTaurus 49M
21253 posts
2/18/2006 6:38 pm

You smell like a cunt
on a week dead otter

I think I met that chick you're talking about at a bar one night. Is she from Louisiana? or was it Kansas? LMAO


womanoirish 55F

2/18/2006 6:49 pm

i LOVE this - no-holds barred, take-no prisoners, flat out oozing with hatred and venom poetry. It's a keeper!

oldman1776 79M
3164 posts
2/18/2006 8:25 pm

A little testy are we.

catseyes23 62F

2/18/2006 11:08 pm

Um that's a bit wicked Bard! Rofl.


8337 posts
2/18/2006 11:10 pm

Still a bit bitter and jaded, eh Bardicbro?

I feel you. You will move past this. Don't let others dictate your mindstate.

Don't forget: Bare your soul.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

ArealUnicorn 45F

2/19/2006 4:51 am

wow Bard you really really don't like her do you...wow...hmmm good one tho I've written those before but never posted them...maybe I will..did it make you feel better? If not hugs for you, and if it did keep it up.

rm_Bct2Esi 52M/51F
1375 posts
2/19/2006 8:18 am

FOCLAO.........dang it here I told you that I would make sure I didn't just take a drink when I read this...What the hell, I sip my coffee, wait for this to load and boom I see that otter and well..........

Do you think you can come help me clean this mess up now...hahaha

hugs and smiles

southrnpeach333 51F

2/19/2006 8:47 am

There is no greater turn on for me than a bitter man. Ah what poetry, now you have my gash oozing.......where did I put that cucumber?

themisskrissy 57F
2302 posts
2/19/2006 12:33 pm

christ on a splintered cross...i hope you aren't on about MY incision...LOL

Virtue Alone Ennobles

Sister_Act_4_You 39F/39F

2/19/2006 2:56 pm

Gee, I sure hope that I never serve as the inspiration for such a, ahem, heartfelt and, koff-koff, passionate verse.

aascrompn 43M
6444 posts
2/19/2006 5:09 pm

LMAO!!! That was funny as hell...

spinmedown 50M
3626 posts
2/19/2006 5:33 pm

Beef and Hash.... Yummmmmmm

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

goddessofbitches 42M/34F

2/19/2006 5:48 pm

That was...wow...

I liked it...I was reading it and thinking about this chick I know who really screwed one of my guy friends over.


Always The Bitch

keithcancook 61M
17930 posts
2/19/2006 7:27 pm

I find nothing to laugh about here. I guess you had to be there...

Blog On, bard. Blog On!

SolarPowered0 111M
8024 posts
2/19/2006 9:31 pm

Sometimes ya just gotta bitch-slap a bitch. Then, other times you gotta write about her oozing gash! But when your daughter's involved, sometimes ya gotta do both (and never let her know - either.)


rm_Mentalride 42M
8 posts
2/19/2006 11:15 pm

That was funny as shit......Gave me a good laugh.....Hope it gave u a good release..

rm_SultryVirgo 49F
567 posts
2/20/2006 11:43 am

You know I really liked otter's up until reading this, how could you do that to them???? However I think your ex and my ex should go bowling......they sound alike.


bardicman 51M

2/20/2006 2:44 pm

Ladytoplease - I haven't been on a date in so long.. what is that again?

Krissy - WELCOME HOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pink - Actually, I was laughing my ass off at my dumbass the whole time.

I am not dead yet

bardicman 51M

2/20/2006 2:46 pm

LustyTaurus.. RUN AWAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Womanoirish - Wait till you read my next one.

Oldman - Did you just say I have little testes?

I am not dead yet

bardicman 51M

2/20/2006 3:06 pm

Cats - Just a bit wicked? hmmmm ROFL

Div - Slightly bitter but this post was more about the humour for me.

Unicorn - No I really do not like the EX but.... Once again this was more just being funny.

I am not dead yet

bardicman 51M

2/20/2006 7:24 pm

Louisa - I would have to say that you are sooooo not my muse on this one

aascrompn - As it was intended my friend.

Spinner - ROFL corned beef and hash... wohooo

I am not dead yet

bardicman 51M

2/20/2006 7:26 pm

Mandy - I didnt know you had a run in with my Ex-Wife

Keith - I think it is humorous and I was there and I stayed for years because I did not want to break my vows. OK, so its funnier than hell in a pitiful sort of way

I am not dead yet

bardicman 51M

2/20/2006 7:30 pm

Solar - She aint worth me hitting, alas sometimes she did make me with I had it in me to hit a woman. No, I cant hit a woman, hmmmmm, I wonder if kicking her would count?

Mzhuny - Alas its something I have to do on a weekly basis. On the good weeks she does not get out of the house.

I am not dead yet

bardicman 51M

2/20/2006 7:32 pm

Sultry - Perhaps you and I should just go bowling. Using them for the pins of course. Perhaps together we could heave ho a 2000 pound wrecking ball.

I am not dead yet

digdug41 50M

2/21/2006 2:30 pm

I take it ya had to go by the ex's house huh roflmao!

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

rm_hinkawaza 53M
371 posts
2/21/2006 9:44 pm

OK Bard, that one is definitely Dr. Suess gone wrong!!!!!

woofff 42F

3/16/2006 10:25 pm

My Bard why is it that every time I scamper to your thoughts, I end up inevitably on the ground with giggles and whoops and a very emphatic voice in my heart that says "LETS WRITE A SCRIPT TOGETHER".

?* You are such a turn-on.

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