My Head, My Aching Fucking Head..  

bardicman 51M
7540 posts
3/31/2006 4:05 pm

Last Read:
4/2/2006 8:01 pm

My Head, My Aching Fucking Head..

Mood: Skeert Poopless

Sumthin' weird done went and happened since I left the big city.
Now when I be travlin' on da highway I drive, aint no stoppin fer pissin' er none o dat. Only time we be stoppin' is when the car need some ethyl. My ole jezzy, she run 4 hours on a tank of ethyl so dat means dey only be one stop on dat trip. Jasper, Alabamy. comin' and goin'. Dats one rule fer drivin da car.

Der is a diffent rule fer when I be on da bike. On da bike trips I set a pace of 55 miles per hour. After I gets 55 miles I gits off da bike and stretch my legs and coax my rektum back together until da top of da hour den I sets off again. I all da time be startin' trips at de top ada hour jest fer keepin' track mo better.

Rule numbah 2 in da car, da radidio. I only be hittin da seek button when I be losin' one station and go to da next radidio station that be comin in. Dis here rule be pissin' mah brats off when dey be with me but dey learn to live wid it or gets a boot to da head.

Rule #2 be werkin fine all de way der but on de way back de trouble be startin'. I be rollin into Birminham, Alabamy bouts 2am. I done went and be losin my Atlanty station so's I done went and did rule #2 and hits de seeker button. death metal. What der fuck says you? you'se heerd me right. DEATH METAL. dat shit is done went and skeert this por cuntry boy. To tops it off I gits all lost and shit in Birminham so dat puts DEATH METAL on my radidio fer abouts 2 hours.

I ne'er been likin' dat ghetto all talkin shootin' an drugs and beaten an all dat crap. Hells Bells ya'll, I am here ta tell ya, dat ghetto be soundin' all christin like comparin it to DEATH METAL. Dis DJ dat be spinnin de toons, he be like talking blood and evil and death and he be talkin like the spawn of da Rainman and Da Slang Blade guy. I shits you not. Just tink about dos 2 havin a baby. Rainman and SlangBlade dude. Dats whada fuck dat DJ be soundin like. And da sangers be screamin all satanic and soundin like dey feets be setted on far. De sangers sounded like a boy scout troop at a priest convention. Oh lawsy me. bout 2 hours of dis? shit da bed. Only now I be havin da headaches and eyes crossed.

Dat station stayed wit me till I be gettin close to Tupelo, den da next seeker button push on da radidio gets me some all Elvis all da damn time station. Whoop de fuck ya'll. No wonders I be fucked in da head and typin dis way.

DEATH METAL??? Here be a few a da bands I member hearin.

"Church Of The Antichrist 999, Draft and PlundAr"

"Satan's Church"

"Terminal Solution"

"Vipers of Sin"

"Apostle Of Perversion"

"Necrodemon - Allegiance to the End"




I am not dead yet


rm_herestill 57M

3/31/2006 4:33 pm

Oh my god ,thats some funny stuff! I'll tell ya tho,its the death metal that really grabs your attention.


bardicman replies on 3/31/2006 5:03 pm:
Death Metal..

Holy jeezus. That could cause nightmares

southrnpeach333 52F

3/31/2006 8:18 pm

Now I have two reasons to admire you. You are willing to listen to crappy music and you love your little girls like nobody's business.


bardicman replies on 3/31/2006 8:30 pm:
Hey Peach.. If you ever saw me naked you would have 2 reasons to admire me. I am willing to listen to crappy music and I love my little girls like nobody's business.

sigh...

SolarPowered0 112M
8031 posts
3/31/2006 10:08 pm

Bard... Let me make this perfectly clear! I have absolutely no desire to admire you so much that I'm willing to see you nekkid! That bein' said...

Seriously! Why do you have any rules at all?! Let the brats choose the tunes and that'll kill two birds with one stone (no, not the brats)... The brats'll leave ya alone AND you won't have to write like this because of Elvis fuckin' up your mind - they won't put him on. Actually three birds... you won't wear out yer boots!

Solar... (out of the clear blue of the Western Sky)

PS: Never say "sumthin' weird" to an old man. Bein' hard of hearin', we have a tendency to think you want us to piss into a bottle so ya don't have to let us out of the damned car!


bardicman replies on 3/31/2006 10:17 pm:
Ahh, ok I admit. When the kids is with me they control the radio. But when I am alone the seek rule stands. And you cannot fall asleep at the wheel listening to DEATH METAL !!!!!

jadedbabe78 107F

3/31/2006 11:04 pm

Ok...I'm a stickler for my own personal rules...

BUT...

FER FUCK'S SAKE, BARD!! LMAO. Death Metal??!!??? I consider myself up to date in my musical tastes due to living in so many different areas of the country, but no way in HELL will I listen to that shit. *Shudder*. I'd rather take a flying naked leap off of a frozen tundra than listen to that shit...let alone for two hours!

I salute you, lol. That music alone will drive someone to Looney Bin Central....and me thinks you were already half way there to begin with .

~Jadey


bardicman replies on 3/31/2006 11:24 pm:
Jadey ... Halfway there? Death Metal was soothing. Ok I am lying. But it made the trip back home seem so much longer even though after I got found again I was driving 80 to get out of range. I didnt want to come home.

jadedbabe78 107F

3/31/2006 11:35 pm

Oh, I'm sorry....was I not suppose to mention your brush with the looney bin?? My bad.

I got so caught up in the death metal comment that I just went temporarily insane......


HBowt2 60F

4/1/2006 3:44 am

ROTFLOL.....You're a crazy man....I ain't driving with you............

You got any other rules??????


digdug41 50M

4/1/2006 6:34 am

ROFLMAO! oh man bard I feelya on that death metal shit its like the only words you hear in it if that at all are satan and hell soyou've got blaring guitars and some guy goin blahblahblablahbblaaahblahblablablablaaaah HELLLLLLLLLLL bla blahblablablaaaah SATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN. OH yeah that must've been a joyuos two hours

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


woofff 42F

4/1/2006 12:38 pm

My Bard,
Yew is a scream when yew set out ta bee one man.

(A first for screaming in laughter with you though )

come 'ere, you.
Woofff


romeoMEETSjuliet 53M/53F
162 posts
4/1/2006 7:23 pm

We have decided that you need a new stereo for your car. So we're gonna catch us a Wal-Mart truck and see if we can't find you a radio with a CD player. Then you can happily cruise along to Flock of Seagulls and all those other wonderful 80's bands.


MaggiesWishes 61F

4/2/2006 12:35 pm

Dang, Bard ... you got me a'skeered to travel 'cross them thar states.
*shivers*
So much for RT 20 !!!


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