Day One is Over  

bardicman 51M
7540 posts
5/6/2006 9:05 pm

Last Read:
5/8/2006 9:55 am

Day One is Over

Hmmmmm, My first day being Gay....

Got my hair did, got a facial and a pedicure.

Got invited to Mass.

Got invited to march in a Gay Pride Parade and be the carnival queen. (Yes the corn dogs taste like shit)

Jadey is showing skin (nipples to be exact)

Erotica is showing skin

Biteme is pissed that I am gay.

And got a response to this email...

You are one sick fucker. Sorry I do not swing that way.
Never contact me again !!!
> Sender: bardicman
> To: (name removed)
> Date: May 6, 2006 4:42 PM EDT
> I have found that the women on here are less than receptive and decided
> it was time to try something different. Since all the women in our area
> seem to be fake or just unresponsive to me I kinda figured you were
> having the same luck and wondered if you would just fuck me in the ass?

Only one day of being gay and already I am starting to really hate you heterosexuals.

I am not dead yet

ArtisticTwist75 42F
2505 posts
5/6/2006 9:12 pm

Tooo funny. Love your new profile by the way. Did I tell you that the best shopping buddies are gay men. They have great taste.


bardicman replies on 5/6/2006 9:18 pm:
Its like straight eye from the queer guy or what ever the hell that show was called.

LadytoPleaseYou 65F
5447 posts
5/6/2006 9:40 pm

Oh the woes of being gay....I guess you though it would be all fun and games

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:37 am:
Being gay is seriously a pain in my ass.

8337 posts
5/6/2006 9:42 pm

Be careful, Bardic...

You keep this up and you'll start attracting the type of butch homosexuals who won't give you a choice in the matter.

I hope you've been lifting if this is indeed your new sexual identity.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:38 am:
Hmm, that is a point to ponder DIV...

rm_BigDnLady 44M/42F
1140 posts
5/6/2006 10:14 pm

Oh bardic, too much conservativeness, and you have cracked!!!


bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:38 am:
Yeah well, Bill Clinton left a bad taste in my mouth

rm_1SweetBitch 56F
8575 posts
5/6/2006 10:14 pm truly crack me up...don't be a hater

No Day Is So Bad It Can't Be Fixed With Great Sex!

1 SweetBitch

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:39 am:
Crack up? Sure, Now my crack is up with a big flashing open sign

ticktock500 45M

5/6/2006 10:20 pm

i see ur profil. u have nice DSLs
im curious for handjob budy
you like? call me at
i like soft hand
i use lotion

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:40 am:
I use HEMPZ pure herbal moisturizer

header1979 38M
507 posts
5/6/2006 10:28 pm

Hey Bard,

I could make you the happiest man on earth. lol

And Div be careful, your next. lol


bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:41 am:
Damn Header, if you werent so young.. I think I am interested in a man that cannot get it up.

kinda like


themisskrissy 57F
2302 posts
5/6/2006 10:46 pm

i agree with Shaye......eeewww... quit getting make up tips from tammy faye's infomercials.... makes you look cheap hon!
and what is the blusher??? i thought the "wedge" went out with dorothy hammils endorsement contracts......

Virtue Alone Ennobles

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:42 am:
The wedge on my face is far more comfortable than the wedgie in my ass.

header1979 38M
507 posts
5/6/2006 10:49 pm

LMAO!! Hey Bard, I just read your new profile. "Looking for some Manly Man Meat !!!!!!" You may have posted that as a joke but wait until you see the serious replies and offers you are going to get. When I was looking for guys on this website, I had a hot profile like that. You could not believe the offers I got and what some guys wanted to do with me. I got the equivalent of the "Wanna fuck?" emails that women get. Guys telling me how big they were and how good I was going to feel when they stuck that big thing in me somewhere. Whew!!

And wait until you start exchanging pics. I got some great cum shots. My favorite was a pic of the guy with his cum shooting out of his dick into the air. You are really going to love that. lol

I hooked up with two guys from the website and had some good times but found out the sex with men isn't what I really want to do in life. I am now exclusively having sex with women. But I could make an exception for you. lol

I had to tone down my profile to cut down on the email offers. Have fun with this. You might want to post some of your better email offers without the names.

And don't be too hard on the straight guys. They are allowed their preferences too. lol


bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:44 am:
Did you say "Don't be too hard in the straight guys"?

Hippink 36F  
4498 posts
5/6/2006 10:59 pm

Oh dear! Like Header said, I'm sure you'll find out what it's like to be a woman on this site.

It's an awful lot like being a cute little kitty being thrown into a pen full of big, mean, hungry dogs.

Have fun being gay! OH, I guess that goes without saying! Be GAY being GAY!
If you think a woman can turn you back, let me know.....
Hippie XXX

How to Get Laid on AFF The Basics
Have fun, play safe!

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:45 am:
Hippy, I am thinking I need to be gang banged by several women....

Maybe 7 or 9 for the weekend...

That would surely convert me

chasingfun27 39M
1108 posts
5/6/2006 11:00 pm

That response was pretty ambiguous. Maybe he's just playing hard to get. You should contact him again to check.

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:45 am:
Thats what I think too.

Playing hard to get.

OboesHonedIambs 63F

5/6/2006 11:01 pm

Oh, dear! Bardiman! You thimply mutht work on your flountheth!!!{=}

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:46 am:
and my pirouettes

rm_truedom2 57M
663 posts
5/7/2006 1:20 am

I sure it's just a matter of time before you get "lucky"

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:48 am:
lets hope a long long time

HBowt2 60F

5/7/2006 2:10 am

Strap on at the face the wall...

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:48 am:
hmmm a woman with a strap on does not sound like a gay thing...

command me again in a couple days and I am one with the wall

FunandFrisky79 43M/38F

5/7/2006 2:14 am

Too funny! Ya know, Bard, I have a few friends who'd just LOVE to take you up on that offer!



bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:50 am:
Woo Boy... Frisky has got my hook up !!!

twirly_girl 48F

5/7/2006 2:44 am

I'm not pissed, Bardiboy.(sounds gay enough for ya, right?)
I'm depressed...

If you'd stop resisting my womanly
stalkery wiles then this wouldn't be


bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:51 am:
bardiboy sounds better than BardtakesitintheassMan

rm_EE407 42F
3903 posts
5/7/2006 2:59 am


bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:52 am:
EE, if only you hadnt been so stingy with those boots....

EroticaXTC 51F

5/7/2006 3:20 am

HOLY TWISTED SISTER BARD-MAN!!! Make that the last time you get Dee Snider to do your make-up!!!
You want to go for the soft and sensual look!!!You'll attract more flies with honey, not kerosene

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:52 am:
yes but kerosene just adds to my FLAMING personality.

Peche85 32F

5/7/2006 4:56 am


bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:53 am:
Hey Peche, So sorry you had to see me like this..

Wait. every sexy college girl with loads of sexy college girl friends needs a gay man for a mentor..


TTigerAtty 63M

5/7/2006 5:28 am

Lordy! This so funny! Don't send me an email you sick, demented pervert! I agree with Erotica! Tone down that make-up! Makes you look like a Drag Queen! Well, why do I care anyway? Hmmmmm? Maybe, I'm "bi-curious" or somethin'?

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:54 am:
Wassup baby TT...

catseyes23 62F

5/7/2006 6:06 am

I just knew it! *sobs* A bit heavy on the makeup though?!

Off to view profile right now. Lol


bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 6:54 am:
Hey Cats.. I just love that broadway show, Cats.

I just wish Judy Garland could have starred in it.

jadedbabe78 107F

5/7/2006 9:00 am

Holy shit balls.....LMAO. Bardi, I loveeeeeee the new pic, it is so you, lol.

Your new profile is the bomb, too. Why, I don't understand why straight men aren't flocking to the gay side hoping for a piece.

Mmmm mmm, baby, if I was a man, I would tear that ass up!!!!

If I through on a strap on, would you maybe give me a shot???


By the way, what color bra and panties should I wear today?


bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 11:26 am:

Jadey with a strap on, Her full wonderful breasts pressed tightly into my back. Her arms wrapped around my waist as her hands fondle my (um private parts)...

Suddenly, I am not feeling as gay as I was

Go with the powder blue panties and bra Jadey. With your skin tone and hair color.. OMFG girlfriend.. you will drive the boys all crazy I tell you.

SexySadie2642 39F
36 posts
5/7/2006 10:17 am

Its sad to see a good man go to waste.

rm_LilBlondeNZ 42F
1028 posts
5/7/2006 11:15 am





OMG OMG OMG... A star is *born*, people!!!

(Can you tell I had a gay roommate by any chance?)


bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 11:27 am:
Let me know if you ever need another one Liblonde

rm_Kissmystuff 62F
1435 posts
5/7/2006 11:43 am

Please..I'm laughing so hard I'm going to pee on myself!



bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 1:10 pm:
Hmmm, Do we want you to pee yourself....

I am not into water sports but then again I have never tried them

Fox4aKnight1 44F

5/7/2006 11:52 am

hm DId you know that that pic looks kinda like the church Lady from SNL crossed with Tammy Faye LOL

bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 1:12 pm:
Hmmm you know what Fox.. I think you are right

LustyTaurus 49M
21253 posts
5/7/2006 12:47 pm

LMFAO....I got an e-mail like that for real a year ago, I told the guy I'd think about it if he waxed his ass and sent me a pic to prove it...he never responded...


bardicman replies on 5/7/2006 1:13 pm:
I hope I can forget about this one by next year

want2play926 46F

5/7/2006 4:26 pm

You are so damn funny!


bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 9:45 am:
awwww thank you.

You are making me all moist girfriend

themisskrissy 57F
2302 posts
5/7/2006 4:29 pm

"You could not believe the offers I got and what some guys wanted to do with me. I got the equivalent of the "Wanna fuck?" emails that women get. Guys telling me how big they were and how good I was going to feel when they stuck that big thing in me somewhere"

Header, would that be called "scared straight"? just teasing ya hon...

Virtue Alone Ennobles

bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 9:46 am:
That sounds about right. Scared Straight

curious082385 32F
4925 posts
5/8/2006 1:54 am wow.

I'm scared now

bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 9:47 am:
Dont be scared baby. Come here and hold mama's hand.

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