200th Post Celebrated Here Today !!!!!!!!!  

bardicman 51M
7540 posts
5/8/2006 10:12 am

Last Read:
5/14/2006 11:05 am

200th Post Celebrated Here Today !!!!!!!!!

Welcome to my 200th Post!!!!!

History is scattered with wonderful things on this date, May 8th.
I would like to share a few with you all at this time.

The most important thing is:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY sexydisaster30sexydisaster30

Also on this date I must admit that I am not really gay. (I hear all the moans coming from the homosexual community at the fact that this prime piece of ass is really not on the market) Sorry Guys!! I was merely pretending to be gay because of this post --->TRUTH OR DARE ASSIGNMENTS. Alas, I discovered that being gay is a pain in the ass and it really left a bad taste in my mouth.

Other important things from this day in history:

1911: Iceland gives the vote to women
1982: I gave my Penis to a woman

1902: Mount Pelee, in the Caribbean, erupts, killing 30,000 men, women, and children
1983: My penis erupts and almost chokes 1 woman.

1933: Gandhi, in India, begins a hunger strike in protest against the British
2006: I am having strong urges to eat someone in India.

1945: Victory In Europe Day (VE Day) declared.
1985: I got so excited I came in my PJ's

1950: American General MacArthur becomes commander of the UN forces in Korea.
2006: I nuked a bowl of rice for lunch.

1984: The USSR and Warsaw Pact countries announce they will boycott the Los Angeles Olympics
1984: I also boycotted because there would be no Russian Gymnast to masturbate too.

1794: US Post Office established.
1974: I played Post Office with the girl next door.

1944: U-575 sinks Asphodel
2006: I announce Ass not fo sale

1949: West German constitution approved
2006: My Constipation Improved

My first blog post was on August 14, 2005. That was the day I became a paying member. I actually joined the site May 15, 2005 but I was not in a real emotional state to even think about fucking or dating so I just kinda forgot about it all for while.

My Current Blog Stats:

My Posts: 199
Comments Received
Total: 6142
Last 30 Days: 605
Unique: 135

My Current personal stats for almost a whole freaking year here:

Profile Activity Report
Total views since 5/15/2005 1292
Times in Hotlists 13


Past 30 days
Matching Views 22
Winks [Delete] 7 (thanks guys )

Hmmm hook-ups = 0
Attempts = 183647393627

Ok so I am lying about the attempts.
I have sent out very few emails here in attempts to get laid. I spent the first week of my membership trying. I sent out probably a dozen emails to women that I found attractive. I got very few responses and those responses somehow led to my email getting as many as 3-400 spam emails a day. NEVER give your real address out to a 25-35 year old air brushed beauty who says she wants to suck your dick and swallow every drop and make you beg for more.

I have been in a few online "relationships" in my 9 active months here.

Innocent Victim #1. Married, 2000 miles away, has a constant lover (with hubbies approval). I would have been lover #2 on the side. At the time thats about all I think I was emotionally capable of. The thing I value and respect the most. That thing called love, was a certain impossibility for me. Although I did love and still do love this person, emotionally I was too scared of the pain and desolation that being "in love" brings. That was a good 3 months then all communication just seemed to stop. I was depressed until I found out that I was the heart breaker. That still causes me to scratch my ass in bewilderment but alas, I can accept the blame and send out the "I am so sorry" apology.

Innocent Victim #2. Still someone I would trust with my heart. Another married lady, 900 miles away (woohoo I got closer to home). Her and I were mainly friends and we had discussed the possible benefits that could go with said friendship and had tested the waters for maybe even more. A person with the same wit as me and the same love for humour. She taught me alot about my walls I had built and she was instrumental in getting them to crumble. Then Suddenly .....

Innocent victim #3. Single, Available, Looking for love and great sex, less than 400 miles away, extremely attracted to me and saying everything I longed to hear. Understand this, I am not capable of stringing along several women at once. I have to be faithful to one. So I sit down in chat with innocent victim #2 and explain to her about #3. I tell her all with tears in my eyes, so afraid that I am causing pain to someone I care deeply about. After I have the conversation with #2, I am free to properly court #3 and that I do. We talk for hours and hours in chat and on the phone and make plans for a meet in the very near future. This whirlwind lasts for a solid 7 days. I go to bed one night with her telling me how great I am and wake the next morning to her telling me and the friends closest to me that I made it all up. Yes, I was devastated. I was hurt. I was led to believe that the friends closest to me were instrumental in her letting me go as a possible mate. Me being the type of man I am, I swear my friendship to her and keep in contact with her on a friendly basis for about another month. All that time, I am listening to her sorted lies and unfortunately, falling prey to most of them. Then the shit hit the fan. I seriously contemplated leaving. removed my blog, Accused my friends of some horrendous things, found out they were innocent and forgiving, made amends with the ones I had hurt and moved on. #3 has not been seen or heard from in several weeks now. One can only assume she has died. or manifested as some other "innocent" person waiting to twist the knife into the backs of those that befriend her.

Innocent Victim #4. Really, there is no #4. She was, is, and always will be a fake. There are those that are convinced that she is real. Personally, for me, there was a couple weeks after #3 that I allowed myself to believe in her but she sent so many false signals and outright lies and stuck to the same patterns of getting someone to fall for her and then having some lame excuses to why it would not work, and the excuses were basically universal to all her victims. Yes, there was no #4. #4 is as fake as her profile.

Innocent Victim #5. Single, Gorgeous, sexual, sensual..... 8000 miles away. *rather large sigh*. Yes, The other side of the world. For the past few weeks, I have anticipated the next time we can chat. Her and I have shared so much more than I have shared with anyone in such a long time. She is my eternal friend. If optimism and hope and desire can have a bearing on fate then someday she will also be my lover or more.

So there you have it.
A look into my life over the past 200 posts.
Here is to 200 more and more friends in the future.

Ladies, as much as I would like to use my flaming homosexuality as a means to get into your pants, I have to be honest and tell you that I am not really gay at all.

Everyone, Please head over to sexydisaster30 and wish her a Happy (damn she is getting old) 31st Birthday !!!!!!

Also, Something that I think Everyone need to read is Protect our internet rights Everybody read this please by [blog hinkawaza]. Seriously friends, this is some serious stuff.

I am not dead yet

jadedbabe78 107F

5/8/2006 10:33 am

Congrats on #200!!

And damn, you aren't gay???

Then why did I just post about my new gay friend who helped me pick out my powder blue bra??

You mean...you mean....you just did it to see some skin???

Why, I out to....

bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 11:02 am:
I agree Jadey, I really think you should.
My neck would look great with those legs wrapped around it.

rm_bucfannn 62M/61F
2110 posts
5/8/2006 10:57 am

Congrats on 200 posts, sweetie!

I, for one, am glad you have decided you aren't gay. I thought my heart would break....

bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 11:03 am:
awww sorry Bucfannn, I would never want anyone's heart to break

twirly_girl 48F

5/8/2006 11:00 am

Congratulations on post 200!

Glad you aren't gay.


bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 11:04 am:
Ummm, Just how glad are you?

TTigerAtty 63M

5/8/2006 11:04 am

Congrats on #200! Very humorous as always! So, now you're back into the closet again? I wonder in what form will you emerge the next time!

bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 11:21 am:
Hmm TTiger, I am not sure.. Perhaps a she-male or something

mycin62 55F

5/8/2006 11:06 am

Congrat's on 200!!!

So, you're back to being straight now?

bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 11:10 am:
Yes indeed M'Lady, I am back to being me again now

NSAAddict 43F

5/8/2006 11:14 am

Congrats on 200 Bard!! I''m a little upset that you turned out not to be gay, I had such plans for you in my masturbation fantasy Oh well, guess it'll just have to be a purely hetero fantasy

bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 11:22 am:
Oh I am so sorry NSAA.. I kinda like my fantasy about you being soaking wet and grabbing my hair and pushing my face.. well you know, I have to take a shower now.

GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
5/8/2006 11:26 am

congratz on 200

so glad you stayed....

bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 11:28 am:
Thank you my Goddess.

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
5/8/2006 12:09 pm

Bard/Bardella, as I read this, it instantly became my favorite Bard post. Since we are both part of an extended IM family, I am aware of 2, 3 and 4 and think that your descriptions were honest, fair, and right on target. Plus there's that bard humor (?) in there.

I'm beginning to think that our online relationships (and this is not negative at all, it's a good thing) are sometimes practice for when we are fully, emotionally equipped to 'go back out there.'

Wishing you the best life has to offer when you choose to go back out there (and you will choose to do so) and am looking forward to the next 200.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 12:21 pm:
Wahine, Even though my hectic schedule is taking me away from said extended family I still love you all dearly and really miss you. I think you are right on target with the emotionally equipped thought.

Humour is the english spelling of humor and I love english humour so I always spell it thus.

Thank you my friend and I do not use that work lightly.

LustyTaurus 49M
21253 posts
5/8/2006 12:09 pm

Congrats on 200 Bard...and i was just about to let you give me some head..oh well.


bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 12:22 pm:
Awww fuck. I knew I should have waited another day

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
5/8/2006 12:11 pm

I said "part of an extended IM family" - cool way of putting it, huh?

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

bardicman replies on 5/8/2006 12:22 pm:
Actually, I think it is a very fitting phrase.

themisskrissy 57F
2302 posts
5/8/2006 1:12 pm

200 already??????? wow!! congrats on that... and unlike sit coms, you get better with each passing week!!



Virtue Alone Ennobles

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:02 am:
Thanks my friend from up north where it should be cold enough to keep a nipple hard on almost year round.


rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
5/8/2006 1:21 pm

Dumb ass.

You know I still love you.

BTW, you beat me to 200. I think I have 8 or 9 to go.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:03 am:
Daphne, baby, I have always thought that blogging was like sex. I got there first, that means you werent fast enough

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
5/8/2006 1:27 pm

happy 200th a wonderful post as always and at least the guys love you all those winks

I'm a

i'm here to stay

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:04 am:
Thanks Papy, Strangest things. I got more winks the little over 2 days I was gay than I did the almost year I was straight

twirly_girl 48F

5/8/2006 1:41 pm

Panty wetting glad?
Wanna give ya one of those hugs that make
your eyeballs roll back - glad?

I'm number 6, right?
I mean... who else stalks you
and ties you up when you think you
might be gay???

Plus, I got a gag ball with your name on it, baby.


bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:09 am:
ummm, Well you really got my attention with the ball gag, Perhaps you should tell me more

HBowt2 60F

5/8/2006 2:42 pm

200th....well done.....

now tell me this...I discovered that being gay is a pain in the ass and it really left a bad taste in my mouth.....what was the bad taste from....

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:13 am:
I have no recollection of that senator

expatbrit49 63M

5/8/2006 2:50 pm

Congrats on 200

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:13 am:
Thanks Expat.

TabithaElectra79 39F

5/8/2006 2:59 pm

Congratulations on your 200th....

I brought you a cake!

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:16 am:
Cake is good..

I like Pie better

LadytoPleaseYou 65F
5447 posts
5/8/2006 3:49 pm

Happy 200th

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:17 am:
Thank you Lady

caressmewell 54F

5/8/2006 3:53 pm

Congrations on number 200 and hoping for 200 or so more.

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:18 am:
Thank you Lady Caress. Here's to hoping I have the mentality to go 200 more

themisskrissy 57F
2302 posts
5/8/2006 4:37 pm

so i just had a revelation.. this is your 200 blog.. and this is where i posted my 1000th blog response!! cool.......

Virtue Alone Ennobles

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:18 am:
WOOHOO Krissy, Party on the Patio (naked)

OboesHonedIambs 63F

5/8/2006 4:49 pm

Happy 200th Post!!!

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:23 am:
Thank you so much.

rm_truedom2 57M
663 posts
5/8/2006 4:55 pm

Congrats and keep up the good words.

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:23 am:
Thank you True. I do appreciate it.

vanna4u 39F

5/8/2006 5:35 pm

Congratulations. I am very happy to hear about the improved state of your constipation.

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:24 am:
Thanks Vanna, It was a sticky situation for a bit.

free2chose2 67F

5/8/2006 5:40 pm

Congrats on the 200th-enjoy your blog immensely

Don't worry, be Happy

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:25 am:
Free2choose, I appreciate it, I will try to get some quality in the next 200 posts

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
5/8/2006 6:40 pm

Congrats Baby!

Purry {=}


bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:32 am:
Thank you Beautiful Purry.

FunandFrisky79 42M/38F

5/8/2006 7:00 pm

Congrats, Bard!!!

I loved this post! I was literally laughing out loud while during your History lesson!

However, I must say that I am crushed you aren't gay. I had plans for you, big boy! Of course, maybe now I can be one of your girlfriends? lol


bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:33 am:

I guess I could never have to many girlfriends

Hippink 36F  
4498 posts
5/8/2006 7:20 pm

Who you callin' INNOCENT?!!??

I know what happened: You were having fun in blogville. I realized I couldn't live with the guilt of not being able to give you everything you deserve. Just not selfish enough.
I look back and cherish what we had, it makes me smile, and I miss it sometimes. But, it wasn't realistic, and you do deserve more.
I hope you don't feel like a victim, cuz I don't. Not at all.
Love always,
Hippie XXX aka #1.
PS: Real sorry about the crap you've gone through since! Maybe I shoulda let you move up here, after all....
PPS: Meh... you're THICK accent woulda made ya stick out like a sore thumb, and I'd be beatin' all the women-folk off with a stick to keep their damned hands off ya!

How to Get Laid on AFF The Basics
Have fun, play safe!

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:38 am:
But Hippie, you are innocent and virginal until you've had me You just "think" square knows what he is doing

Jeez, I normally have no ego and now I can see why

007sexy40plus 52F  
7603 posts
5/8/2006 8:10 pm

Happy 200th and I am glad you aren't gay. but that what happened to hottie #5, ME? (great big, big, sigh)

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:36 am:
Thanks 007, But there is a #5 already and you live like really really close to me and if we started something online then I would have to meet you and then you would tell everyone I was a dead fuck and then there would never be anymore numbers.

digdug41 50M

5/8/2006 8:17 pm

well thats great there mr bardicaman happy 200 and to 200 more cyaroun the blogs no doubt

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:39 am:
Damn straight you will Diggerman (phat). And in our extended YIM family too.

rm_art_persists 53M
1789 posts
5/8/2006 9:11 pm

Happy 200th. your list of history both world and personal are inspired...

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:40 am:
Thank you art.

mangomamiCT 43F

5/8/2006 9:26 pm

not a bad run

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:41 am:
Can I run to you now Mango ?

tillerbabe 57F

5/9/2006 1:15 am

TMI!!!! LOL! Happy 200th sweet man!!!

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:41 am:
Thank you sweet, beautiful, Tiller.

chasingfun27 39M
1108 posts
5/9/2006 1:33 am

Reading that, you seem like a solid bloke, but, given your past history maybe you should stick to the wig and those rather friendly guys who were only too keen to say hi.

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:43 am:
I almost thought that too. Well ok the thought never crossed my mind at all but I thought it would sound pretty cool if I said it did

curious082385 32F
4925 posts
5/9/2006 4:39 am

"Also on this date I must admit that I am not really gay."

Uh oh...Bard is in denial.

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 11:44 am:
Curious, If you ever cared about me as a person at all, you would come and check to see if I am straight and help me get that way if you found me not to be.....


Ya know I love ya !!!

want2play926 46F

5/9/2006 6:35 am

First congrats on 200!

Second thank GOD you are not gay. All the good looking ones are!!!

Thrid I hope you find a sweet woman for your twisted mind. You only should get the BEST Bard

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 12:09 pm:
Thanks for the well wishes Want2.

You are appreciated here.

rm_5Hawkeye6 62M

5/9/2006 11:28 am

Hey, Bardicman,

I don't know what your problem is, but I've been using your lines on women for the past three weeks, and I can tell you, your shit rocks!
The chicks I've talked to love 'em!

I've never had to 'pick up' girls before, but an infusion of new material never hurts, and from the results I've been getting, all I can say is, "can't wait for the next 200!"

BTW, you're a lot better looking and younger than I am, too...hmmm

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 12:12 pm:
ROFL Hawkeye, It just goes to prove that the writer is often not the best person to deliver the material.

At least one of us is gathering the fruits of my labor

MissAnnThrope 57F
11488 posts
5/9/2006 1:10 pm

Alas, I discovered that being gay is a pain in the ass and it really left a bad taste in my mouth.

I bet you don't like broccoli either.

bardicman replies on 5/9/2006 1:33 pm:
Broccoli is really good in ranch dip.

romeoMEETSjuliet 53M/53F
162 posts
5/9/2006 11:39 pm

She says - Congrats, my sleep depraved friend. Best wishes to you on your path to your lucky number.

bardicman replies on 5/10/2006 6:27 am:
Thank you wonderful lady type person.

I can't remember if I told you or not but I have to work straight through this week till friday so I wont be on IM last night.

rm_LilBlondeNZ 41F
1028 posts
5/13/2006 12:30 pm

Single, Gorgeous, sexual, sensual..... 8000 miles away. *rather large sigh*. Yes, The other side of the world. For the past few weeks, I have anticipated the next time we can chat. Her and I have shared so much more than I have shared with anyone in such a long time. She is my eternal friend. If optimism and hope and desire can have a bearing on fate then someday she will also be my lover or more.

OK... you can drop the "shes"... There's only one person I know who lives 8000 miles away from you...

Give it up! He's mine and he's not gay!!!! Why can't you just go back to drooling over Trav's ass! FFS!

Congrats on 200...



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