it just doesn  

anivorygrl 58F
68 posts
6/16/2006 7:12 am

Last Read:
8/25/2006 5:07 pm

it just doesn

I have been dating a man for about 3 months and after careful deliberation I have come to the conclusion that this is not going to work. Don't get me wrong this guy is GREAT, I couldn't ask for a better friend. He has been there for me through thick and thin, believe me that has not been easy for him considering my life has been one saga after another. Have you ever dated someone that the sex is great at first but you see that it will fizzle out over time? The problem lies in that I am submissive sexually and apparently he is also submissive. By him being this way it has made me selfish in the bedroom, where as before I was so giving. I do not like this roll and eventually it will get tiring for him also. I just do not know how to broach this subject with him without it escalating into a big blow-up. I dread this because I do not really care confrontation, although we have had a lot of it lately. What would you do in a situation like this? Hang on until it fizzles? Talk about it and go the friends w/out benefits? I'm just not sure which path to take. Imagine that....a woman that can not make up her

crazygurl2xx 58F

6/19/2006 4:28 pm

put your foot down and use my "theory of concrete expectations".

it goes like this: just tell him your concern. tell him what you want. nicely tell him that you won't accept less than what will absolutely make you happy and that this will make you happy. give him a chance to give it to you if he says he can and he wants to... tell him you understand if he can't and that you have come too far now to settle for less and that with no hard feelings that you have to find what it is that makes you deeply happy with what you have left of your life...

and good luck sweetie.

VilerUlnarSlued 63M
40 posts
6/19/2006 4:35 pm

How about talking about it with him. All couples seem to slow down sex wise, some just take longer or don't care. Others work it out, get kinky...shocking but true as you may have noticed here.

He might be thinking the same things and you both might decide to add some spice or, he might be trying to figure out if he wants to dump you. Communication is the key to solving this dilema.

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