To wait or NOT to wait  

angelwoarose 42F
211 posts
3/12/2006 9:03 am

Last Read:
3/12/2006 10:59 am

To wait or NOT to wait

I have been single for a while now and I have always followed my instinct on when is the "right" time to become intimately involved with someone. Sometimes it was the first night, others after weeks/months of dating, and with a few it never happened.

I have been told by several people that if you want a chance of something more than fuck buddies developing you have to hold out restrant and "make them wait". These people seem to think that this will make a relationship grow. While I am not looking for a relationship per say at this time, I would like to know what everyone seems to think about the to wait or not to wait issue. One day I am hoping to become involved in a relationship again and I'm curious if this means I have to behave differently to make that happen.

93 posts
3/12/2006 10:22 am

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules that work for everyone, every time. You really have to follow your instincts.

I've done both - waiting and not waiting. As I'm single now (well, I'm separated pending a divorce, but ... ), I'd say either has an equal chance of working out.

CruelKitty 46F
90 posts
3/12/2006 10:24 am

I've been wondering the same thing. Unfortunately, I never have the will to wait it out, so I will probably never know if it makes a difference or not. I have a feeling that any guys who respond will say that waiting doesn't work!

angelgrrl 49F

3/12/2006 10:25 am

Though it should not be that way, generally you should wait if you want it to be anything more than a purely sexual relationship. The double standard still does exist, and many men categorize women between women they date and women they fuck. Men want to feel special as well, and part of feeling special in bed for them is that they are getting part of you that you don't give easily.

Sex has so many games attached to it in our society. It gets confusing. But if a man is considering a relationship with him, not having sex immediately will not deter him. But having sex with him may very well put him off. So it is better off to wait.

angelwoarose 42F

3/12/2006 10:38 am

Thank you angelgrrl. That is what I have been told...and I have been told that by men that I have dated. Thank you so much for your advise.

Kaliedascope61 43M
4084 posts
3/12/2006 10:39 am

sounds like you do it the right way by just going with your instinct.

angelwoarose 42F

3/12/2006 10:59 am

SolaEQ -- sorry about the seperation (or congradulations depending on the circumstance). I'll just keep following my instincts and have no regrets

CruelKitty -- I don't have the will if the chemistry is right. And honestly I've been told by guys to wait...but then again they were exs that didn't want me with anyone else..hmmmmm

Kaliedascope61 -- I agree

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