In my life right now  

angelwoarose 42F
211 posts
3/30/2006 6:20 pm

Last Read:
3/31/2006 5:37 pm

In my life right now

Lately I have not been in the internet alot. I wish I could say it was because I had met the man of my dreams and he swept me away on a romantic getaway.....but that is not the case. (Though I have been talking to a sexy hottie in OK that has my attention at the moment....)

I have been missing in action because my father's health is getting worse and I find myself in a bit of a depression over it. This morning I watched him be carried out of his house on a stretcher and brought to the emergancy room because he could not move the right side of his body. With in a few hours he was able to move them, but while they were doing tests to see what caused it they found his white cell count to be dangerously low. So now he is in a hospital room with a big sign that says "Reverse Quarientine". Must wear face mask and gloves when entering. But for me and the family they let us in without them.

My father has also been diagnosised with a fibrosis of the lungs. unknown version that they don't know if it is genetic or what causes it. I have an uncle that has been diagnosised with it and my grandmother as well. It could be because they grew up in a coal-mining town...or because they lived on a farm...or it could be genetic...they have no clue. But I see my dad on a breathing machine now...and a huge oxygen tank decorates his TV room incase the power goes out.

And that is just the beginning of his health problems. When you add that to my job, my son (who is ADHD and possibly bi-polar) and my failed love's a wonder I haven't crashed yet.

Guess I just needed to vent a little. At times I feel overwelmed and very much alone...when I know I have friends that are there for me. It's rare for me to let someone in enough that I can trust them enough to cry on their shoulder...and lately I've lost a few of those close friendships ...which makes me put my walls up even more. A horrible cycle that just goes into a downward spiral. I won't let it defeat me...but at times it does hold me back.

So if I am gone for a while...know that I will return. And I value all the thoughts and concerns that you have for me.

help4meplease 39M

3/30/2006 7:05 pm

I know I am here for different reason... Anyway I will pray for you. Hope your family would be ok.

Rudy1166 51M
136 posts
3/30/2006 9:14 pm

Life ain't easy. Sometimes it downright sux.
I'd like to forget alot of things from this past year.
But the old saying "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is very true.

Hang in there. I've been there too.

rm_dragonheat23 52M
1158 posts
3/31/2006 7:25 am

I've missed you, glad you are back.
Sending healing and calming hugs to you and your family

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