This Is A Wonderful Life???  

angelofmercy5 60F
12148 posts
8/22/2006 12:02 am

Last Read:
8/25/2006 4:39 am

This Is A Wonderful Life???

When I was first married.....some 30+ years ago....I can remember my husband talking about when he "retired" from the Navy. And how that retirement pay would put us on easy street. Well, that sure sounded good. But.......

This is not the life I ordered!

Retirement? Maybe when we die. And it is massively difficult to watch our children struggle. Yes....I went without too for my children. And I still do. But when we stopped to visit our new little granddaughter tonight, my daughter looked more exhausted than I expected. Later on, on the phone, she admitted to me that she had been crying all day. You see, her last check from work was shorted.....the refrigerator quit working....and she had hardly eaten anything all day expect HoneyNut Cherrios because they didn't have much food except for the kids. Welcome home from the hospital isn't it? And while I'm going to take on a massively full teaching schedule this fall.....I won't see a paycheck until we are broke too.

Sometimes life just sucks! I know I can't "fix" everything...and that I'm not responsible for everything....but it's hard! And then my sweet, 96 year old Grammy called! (The new grandbaby was named after her.) I call her often, but she rarely calls me.....but we have a special love and connection that transcends the miles apart that we live.....and she knew I needed her today. So, after listening to me and just loving me the way only she can do.....she imparted some of her sage wisdom.

"Life is just one big huge fire. Some people get burned. And some people get purified."

I should be as "pure" as the newly fallen snow by now! Ouch!

How about you???

HeatedCondition 61M
890 posts
8/22/2006 12:26 am

Life does suck sometimes. 10 years ago life REALLY sucked for me. And I was purified, BIGTIME. And it was all my own doing, as it usually is when life sucks. Wrote all about it in my blog. But I didn't burn down to the ground. I sifted through the ashes, cleaned it all up and then recovered. Anybody can, if they really want to.


angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:28 pm: are right....we can do it! And.....I really want to.

redrobin012057 61F

8/22/2006 12:55 am

One of my favourite quotes is this....If this life were a test, we'd be given better instructions.

Words cannot exspress what you must feel, but God finds a way.Blessings to you and yours.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:28 pm: always find a way to make me look on the positive side...and I truly thank you for that!

Juliet610 52F

8/22/2006 1:19 am

Sweet Angel,

I don't think any of us get the life we ordered, unfortunately. Somehow this reminded me of a line from the movie, The Natural.

Glen Close and Robert Redford are walking after one of his games, talking about what happened to each of them in the 15 or so years since they last saw each other. She said, "I believe we have two lives--the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that."

I have no idea what you're supposed to be learning through this, but it will come to you. Meanwhile, hang in there and know that it WILL get better!

Hugs to you and yours,

Jason from the Bench

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:29 pm: are such a special care enough to leave such a thoughtful comment here. You know that I'm praying for you and Julie!

wildoats19622 55M
3530 posts
8/22/2006 1:42 am

Good Luck. Sometimes we think money, the lack of it, is our biggest problem. Sometimes it is. I've had my share of money problems in the past and currently too. Love doesn't fill the belly, but it is still nice to have. I could go on, but really all I have to offer are good wishes.


Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:32 pm:
Wildoats......Love is VERY nice to have....and hopefully sees us through many a crisis. Thank you for your good wishes!

rm_dirtyltlslut 47M/41F

8/22/2006 2:12 am

Been there, done that. When our first was bourne we had eggs,nothing but eggs, for a whole week. couldn't eat breakfast for about a year after that. Cheer up, things get better, or worse, but they change.Some times you just have to look real hard for the good things in life.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:33 pm: are so right....things do change! I think we are due for a change to the better! Thanks for stopping by here and caring enough to leave a comment!

Glimmer_Man06 48M
3308 posts
8/22/2006 2:46 am

damn, that is the story of my life.

They say a woman ages like fine wine...

...mine ages like milk!

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:34 pm:
Glimmer....I know what you mean my friend!

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
8/22/2006 3:37 am

Life is hard sometimes and when I start feeling down, I just think about how much worse it could be.

Your daughter is lucky to have a mom like you. I remember being 19, married, and had to do laundry at my parent's house b/c we couldnt afford the laundry mat or a washer/dryer.

Big hug for you today, squuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeze,

Purry {=}


angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:37 pm:
Purry.....Thank you for saying that! I got married at 19 too....and I can remember doing laundry at the laundry mat! Thanks for the big HUG! Just what I needed.

horny4770 61M
8158 posts
8/22/2006 3:39 am

Angel...Being in the fire is never a fun thing to do...whether burned or purified it's still hot.

We should all be pure as the newly fallen snow by now...sometimes we just feel like melting...


angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:37 pm: one could have put it was a total meltdown!

PassionKisses4Me 45F

8/22/2006 4:20 am

So been there sweetie...not knowing how my ex and I were going to feed our doesn't get any better, it just changes...what matters most is how we deal with ya bunches sweetie and always a shoulder here if you need it



angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:39 pm:
Thanks Becky....a shoulder is just what I needed!

fun4u287995 32M

8/22/2006 5:28 am

What I usually do in situations like that (although I’ve never been quite so ill-fated, thank God) is just remember that there are people in this world that have it a lot worse, and I mean A LOT!!! And the good thing about my situation is, it is usually only temporary, and I can do something about it myself, even if it isn’t quite what I had in mind.
AND when it’s all over, just think about how relieved you’ll feel when you are in a better situation...just hang in there, you’ll make it


angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:40 pm:
4u....thank you for the encouragement. I do feel better. We made it through the day....and tomorrow is another one with a chance to make it better.


8/22/2006 5:37 am

Angel..oh so true on so many levels..
The idea of retirement, something our parents looked forward to with great expectations, seems an unobtainable dream for many of our generation..
And it is so hard when a loved one is want to help however you can..but sometimes all you can do is listen and love.
Your Grammy's saying seems almost medieval..trial by fire..and only the pure escape..
But maybe its just the idea of the from the ashes to live life anew..

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:42 pm:
NoGlory.....I think I can handle the listen and love thing! If I can only stop myself from feeling like I've failed somehow when I can't make things all better.....I'll be on the road to purification.

digdug41 50M

8/22/2006 7:35 am

I know its rough sometimes and life just doesn't seem fair I dunno we go through stuff and I just dont know why but I try my best to get through it and I hope that you and your do the same angel

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:43 pm:
Dig....I hope you know how much this means to me coming from you. I know you have been tried.....and are coming through it all....and I can too! Thanks my friend with the fabulous laugh!

Dustywidgettoo 61M

8/22/2006 8:32 am

Dusty and I love you very much and we know you're pure so don't worry on that sure. We have the eyes to see after all.

Sorry Aunty Angel but Dusty can't come to the phone at the moment as he's currently at war with the forces preventing him accessing the site but he asked me to specifically come hear and say the following:

"Theres a saying old, says that love is blind
Still were often told, seek and ye shall find
So I'm going to seek a certain lad Ive had in mind

Looking everywhere, havent found him yet
He's the big affair I cannot forget
Only man I ever think of with regret

I'd like to add his initial to my monogram
Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

Theres a somebody I'm longin to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who'll watch over me

Although he may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key

Wont you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:46 pm: two! Thank you! Now I'm going to be singing that song all night long. And tell Dusty I know just how he feels not being able to access his is the first day in about 4 days that I've been able to respond on mine. Love you!

piercednshavedmn 53M
4579 posts
8/22/2006 8:44 am

Wow, That was powerful. Your Grammy is a wise woman. Mine always told me "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" Same general sentiment the basic idea being you have to keep going. Because this is the only life you"ll have.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:47 pm:
MJ.....Your Grammy was wise too! Mine also used that saying when I was a child. And she went through some pretty horrific times herself.....and came through stronger. Thanks for reminding me of this one!

electriccompany 53M

8/22/2006 8:56 am

I feel like I'm burnt to a crisp, but after a quick look at my profile, my purity score is 117. ( Out of a possible 100?!? )

Babies, mommies and nurses are tough. They'll make it through just fine!

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:48 pm: special friend......we WIll make it through all of this. Thanks sweetie.

rm_Bladesong 41F
476 posts
8/22/2006 9:26 am


Your life so reminds me of my own. Wow. Yeah your grandmother is right with that phrase. I wish I could help you out. I hate seeing my friends in need specially watching people not eat. That's why I have one rule with my pack when they are around me. The one rule is "No one goes hungry." If you were closer I would try and help you out more. Send me an email anyways...who knows I might have some canned foods or something I can send you guys so your daughter has something.


~It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved!

Be Good to those around you!


angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:49 pm: are such a special gal! Thank you....and I will send you a special email thank you!

free2chose2 67F

8/22/2006 9:38 am

angel, hopefully you/your daughter know what agencies to contact for assistance during this temporary sidetrack. If not breastfeeding immediate concern for proper infant formula storage.
Classified good place to look for replacement refrigerator.
Food stamps, a good thing, to assist families to eat nuitritionally.

Your Gramma's saying on point-I've been burnt,I've been purified and now going for round 4 or 5 of those two.

Don't worry, be Happy

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:50 pm: little sweetie! I think I'm on round 9 or 10! lol They are going to apply for some assistance....but even on maternity leave....her paycheck looks too good for most assistance. But what they don't look at is that her health insurance costs her $650 a month! And there goes the money!

heavensent11236 53F

8/22/2006 9:58 am


Very sorry to hear about your current misfortunes. I agree, sometimes life is VERY difficult, been there done that, raised 3 kids for awhile on 3.35 an hour, so you know I'm dating myself.
Point being, somehow things manage to work out in the long run, occasionally you have to make some sacrifices, mine was going back to school to actually get a carreer in a job that pays unbelievably well. As for watching your kids struggle, Lord girl, most the time I want to do bodily damage to my second daughter for making her life so much more difficult than she needed to but I do what I can to help out when I can. Just try to have faith and believe that God doesn't give you more than you are able to handle. Who knows, maybe it's His way of saying, when all this gets better (and it will) you will be able to look back and fully appreciate your blessings instead of taking them for granted like so many people seem to do. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and yours and say a little prayer.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:52 pm:
Heaven.....thank you! The prayers are absolutely just what we need.

yayog 65M
21 posts
8/22/2006 10:05 am

I say we all have control over our lives but, we choose not to. If it isn't what you want just leave.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:54 pm:
Yayog....I do agree with you to a point. But sometimes leaving is just not an option....but a cop out! It takes more character to ride through the storm than to walk away from it. I know there are times that there is no other answer than to leave and change things.....but this isn't one of them. Thank you for your wise words.

howaboutahuck 67M
489 posts
8/22/2006 10:47 am

Hi, Angle
My ex put me in dept to the tune of 50k that took me over fifteen years to get out of. I ate allot of mac & cheese during those lean years.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:55 pm:
Yes....I've been there too! And I can do it again! Thanks for the comment here.

luvtolick64154 63M

8/22/2006 10:48 am

Well angel, life if nothing else is always changing. And I wouldn't have missed a minute of the pain or joy. But I did learn a couple of things, aloe-vera does wonders for burns, and a grandchild can make you feel twenty years younger instantly. Take care sweetie.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:56 pm:
Luv.....there is no question of that! Today though....the two older grandkids plum wore me out! lol

drivinthrough 62M

8/22/2006 12:43 pm

I'll be praying for you Angel.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:57 pm: little doll! I never turn down prayer! I truly believe it can change things. Thank you.

rm_shannee2006 53F
3355 posts
8/22/2006 3:12 pm

Wow...I like that story and I liked your Grandmother's saying. I took that to mean that your attitude makes the difference between being purified and being burned. That reminds me of the experience of sweat lodge. Thank you for that story.

I can identify with financial challenges. There have been times in my life when I lived on $600 a month and less. It's not easy, but it can be done. Hang in there.

Yup...this juiciness is from me....


angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 4:59 pm:
Shannee....I wanted to tell you that I loved your comment on Mzhuny's blog about your name! It was lovely! And I'm hanging in there! IT will all work out somehow.

firestarter665 43M/40F

8/22/2006 3:42 pm

I do hope that things get better for you and your family. I believe that we all go through rough times.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 5:00 pm:
Fire....we do! And I think we can learn to appreciate the good times more from going through the rough ones.

spacecadet561 61M

8/22/2006 3:57 pm

I'll say a little prayer for you and yours. Things will get better. Just hang in there. That's why I have a few "extra" credit cards, and use the low-interest-rate deals when needed. If a new refrigerator is needed, lots of appliance stores do "90 days same as cash" or sometimes better deals.


angelofmercy5 replies on 8/22/2006 5:00 pm:
Thanks Space! I appreciate your prayers! I really do!

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

8/22/2006 5:03 pm

I think I'm just toast for now...Ready


angelofmercy5 replies on 8/23/2006 7:32 am:
Ready....and nicely browned toast you are too! Not burnt yet, right? love ya!

Dustywidgettoo 61M

8/22/2006 5:14 pm


Love you all

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/23/2006 7:33 am:
Love you too Dusty!

Whispersoftly5 53F
15176 posts
8/22/2006 5:17 pm

I wish I could make it better for all of you. Just your being there to talk with your daughter must have meant so much for her - just as talking with Grammy was for you. I'm sorry this is a hard time, but am so glad you all have each other. Big (((HUGS))) to all of you. {=}

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/23/2006 7:34 am:
Whisper......We're glad we have each other too! Thanks Whisper......the hug is just what I needed!

VATraveler1948 69M

8/22/2006 6:11 pm

Angel, I know that this is a very difficult time for you. I hate being in a spot where I just can't do anything but pray for a break, and that's just the time when it seems hardest to pray. Things will improve, you just need to have faith that they will. Your Grammy is a VERY wise person and I think you are an awful lot like her!

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/23/2006 7:34 am:
VAT....I do have faith! And your comment here means more to me than you might ever know!

impish_pixie 55F
6867 posts
8/22/2006 6:35 pm

Angel..I've heard that Catholic Charties is very good about helping out in these situations. If I can help, please let me know.

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/23/2006 7:35 am:
Impish.....thanks sweetie! I'm playing phone tag with you! I actually thought of Catholic Charities yesterday and mentioned it to my daughter. I'm going to look up the number today.

rm_Ptalk1155 35M
3450 posts
8/22/2006 8:05 pm

Oh, if life is a fire, then somebody basted me, stuck a pole up my ass, and is slowly roasting me in it.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/23/2006 7:36 am:
Ptalk......the thought of you slowly roasting painted a funny picture in my mind! But I get it.....I know just exactly how you're feeling!

rm_mainevern 52M
10197 posts
8/22/2006 8:27 pm

Angel, I can sympathize, I'm sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor and counting my change carefully to at least have something to eat. If you
're interested in what sort of foolish crap is happening with me, check out my blog.


I Wanna Pull Purpletrashcan's Fucking Hair!

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/23/2006 7:38 am:
V......I will hop over to your blog after I'm done here. And just as it will for us, I'm sure things will get better for you too!

MaggiesWishes 61F

8/22/2006 8:49 pm

Angel, I know that no one wants to think about "handouts", but this is why I pay taxes. Just a thought.
I never knew about the programs to help out young mothers and families when I had my daughter.
I thought I was stealing by taking the extra bottle of milk that they brought with my daughter and hiding it for later when we got released. Having no clothes to take the baby home, I took the teeshirt too, and any diapers I could hide in my bag. I really was innocent at 16, to being a mom and knowing what was available for me.

Don't hesitate to check out the local system for assistance.
Again ... I'm throwing you a life line ... I'm here for resource information, just let me know if I can help.

Warm and love to the daughter, family and you sweet Sista

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/23/2006 7:39 am:
Mags....thank you sweet sister of mine! Love ya. And I'll probably holler for some information as I look into this!

ZZ_Todd 60M

8/22/2006 11:01 pm

Well, ya know... some days are diamonds... and some days are just plain rocks! But, it's been a good life, all in all... it's really good to sit around the fire with friends and talk of poems and prayers and promises... things that we believe in; how sweet it is to love someone, how right it is to care. How long it's been since yesterday, and, what about tomorrow? What about our dreams, and all the things we want to share... (and I can't remember now off the top of my head how the rest of that song goes) I honestly don't know where all of that came from just now... I think I'm giddy. Anyway... hang in there. No one ever promised us all rose gardens.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/23/2006 7:42 am:
Todd....well, you can get giddy on my blog anytime. Thanks for reminding me of that song. I think I really needed to hear it right now.

Dustywidgettoo 61M

8/23/2006 1:35 am

We,ll I'm feeling renewed. You love?

I need you back in my network sweetheart and bring the gang as well.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/23/2006 7:45 am:
Dusty.....will do sweetie! But what the heck is going on here?

rm_FreeLove999 47F
16127 posts
8/23/2006 3:03 am

this post really makes me count my blessings. this is a terrible state of affairs for your daughter to come home to. i am so fortunate that a few of my friends are preparing homecooked meals for me to stick in the freezer so that when i get home with baby, if i don't have time to cook i can get something nutritious out of the freezer. maybe you could call up some of her close friends and see if they can't organise something similar?

i was already feeling ego-bound and selfish before i came here, cos gaeb hasn't worked in several months, and today he is meeting with a new agent so he should hopefully soon have some new stunt work. i know i should be happy for him, but all i'm doing is fretting that he might not be with me at the birth of our child as he may well have to work then.

your post makes me realise even more how selfish i am being, because i will have a tremendous amount of support with the new baby. my boss already agreed to three months maternity leave on FULL pay, and i will have a nanny to help me, as well as the two men in my life, and my sister and mother-in-law coming into town for a few days.

i wish there was a way to send your daughter from afar the support and blessings she needs right now. all i can say is my prayers are with you and your family in this difficult time.


[blog freelove999]

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/23/2006 7:48 am:
Free....this comment made me cry. You are so sweet to care so much from afar. You just concentrate on you and that baby you are carrying. No....this was NOT the homecoming she expected. But we are all trying to help. And I did think of calling some friends to see it they would be willing to take in dinner for a little that's a great idea. I'm thrilled that you are going to be well provided for. My daughter gets 6 weeks of materninty leave. But only 80 hours are actually paid. Thanks for the prayers.....they help the most.

PlaynAgain 55F

8/23/2006 10:49 am

Angel, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter both. Your daughter is so lucky to have you there for her. I know what she is going through! I also know what it's like to want to fix things for the ones we love and not be able to. I think that hurts more than anything someone can do to us personally. Just rememeber, your granny is right, and which outcome you get depends entirely on how you view the experience. I'm just so glad you have the support of all your friends here. #D

"Attitude is everything. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, It's about learning to dance in the rain."

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/24/2006 6:08 am:
Playn.....thanks for the prayers my friend. I know that the good Lord hears them and answers them.

ShyWhisper2006 54F
15175 posts
8/23/2006 4:09 pm

so purified here i am damn near transparent...*smiles*...I hear you...*hugs*

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/24/2006 6:08 am:
Shy......I hear you too! Thanks for stopping by.....and especially for the hugs! ~hugs~

florallei 100F

8/23/2006 6:36 pm

What lovely wisdom Angel!!! What a beautiful Grammy!!! Sometimes I need to step back and look at my life and see the forest but for the trees...only then I can see the beauty of my life and be jolted back to appreciation!!!
TY for sharing your story.

angelofmercy5 replies on 8/24/2006 7:05 am: have no idea how special my grammy is. I think we all need "jolted" from time to time. We really have no idea how good we have it.....or how bad things could really be. love ya sweetie!

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