Don't Die An Old Maid  

angelofmercy5 60F
12148 posts
4/12/2006 10:05 pm

Last Read:
4/16/2006 7:54 am

Don't Die An Old Maid

There were two old maid sisters, both virgins. It was Friday night and Gladys looked at Betty and said, "I'm not going to die a virgin ... I'm going out and I'm not coming home 'til I've been laid!"

Betty said, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't worry about you."

10 o'clock rolled around and no sign of Gladys ... 11 o'clock ... 12 o'clock ...

Finally, about 15 after one the front door flew open. In ran Gladys ... straight to the bathroom.

Betty knocked on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys?"

No answer, so she opened the door and there sat Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself.

"What is it, Gladys? What's wrong?" asked Betty.

"Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in ... and five when it came out. When I find the other half, you're gonna have the time of your life!"

HighPocKets1938 79M

4/12/2006 11:56 pm

Betty and Gladys' younger sister Patty, also an old maid and virginal as well was not feeling too well. On being told she should be checked out by a doctor, she replies "I haven't ever been sick and I'm not letting anyone I don't know check me". She was assured that she would be in good hands if she went to her cousin's nephew, as he was just out of medical school and had just opened his own practice.
So off she went to see him. After He had completed his exam, she asks him "Does your mama know what you do for a living?" After he has checked all the test results, he calls her and tells her he had some bad news. The bad news was that she needs a complete hysterectomy.

She tells him "You mean that I am 75 years old, never even used it one time and now you are telling me it has to be taken away.

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 8:56 am:
At least I got to use mine before the hysterectomy....right Highpockets? lol

rm_FreeLove999 47F
16127 posts
4/13/2006 1:56 am

that's hilarious!

[blog freelove999]

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 8:58 am:
Don't we all need a good laugh once in awhile Free? You feeling okay?

oldude1946 72M

4/13/2006 3:42 am

It was me....It was me

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 8:58 am:
I KNEW it had to be you Oldude!!!!

LabioBent 106M
2082 posts
4/13/2006 3:56 am

That is a classic!
Have not heard it since the 'Puter Crash of 2000!


angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 8:59 am:
Labio....I hadn't heard this one before, although I was sure it had been around for awhile. But it did make me laugh!

horny4770 61M
8158 posts
4/13/2006 4:06 am

Thanks for the laugh this morning, Angel...I needed one!


angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 9:00 am:
Horny....I needed a laugh this morning too. Glad you could laugh with me!

rm_cru1972 46M
4407 posts
4/13/2006 4:57 am

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 1:56 pm:
Hey Cru....good to see you laughing! Now take that hat off!

VATraveler1948 69M

4/13/2006 5:09 am

I think I have located the missing 5 inches and I'm willing to share it with any more of these old maid virgins who are interested.

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 9:00 am:
Awwwww......Vat! You are such a generous person! But I've seen your equipment...and theres more than 5 inches.

firestarter665 43M/40F

4/13/2006 5:46 am

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 9:04 am:
Glad you got a laugh out of this one Firestarter!

HBowt2 60F

4/13/2006 6:34 am

tears of laughter here.....thanks angel...

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 9:06 am:
I love to laugh, don't you Hbowt2?

libgemOH 57M/53F

4/13/2006 10:22 am

ROFLMFAO! That one was GREAT!!!!! -B

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 2:00 pm:
Thanks libgem! How'd that test come out?

papyrina 52F
21133 posts
4/13/2006 10:24 am

OO my thats bad

I'm a

i'm here to stay

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 2:00 pm:
Papy...I love the new picture! You have to have the most famous butt in blogland!

pandoo5 61M
398 posts
4/13/2006 11:35 am

needed it

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 1:59 pm:
Pandoo....we all needed it I think! Glad to see you here today!

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

4/13/2006 11:42 am

Very funny ! Thanks for the giggles!

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 1:59 pm:
Don't ya just love to giggle pragmatic!

HighPocKets1938 79M

4/13/2006 11:46 am

Don't worry Angel, your secret is safe with me

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 1:58 pm:
Thanks Highpockets! ~hugs~

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

4/13/2006 1:25 pm

LOL...thanks I needed that...Ready


angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 1:57 pm:
Hey Ready! That picture of yours is great! We should all have one like that for those "special" days! lol Thanks for stopping by!

Sulabula 46F
12659 posts
4/13/2006 3:25 pm

enjoyed that one

Sula xxx

come visit my blog

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/14/2006 8:16 am:
Thanks Sula!

MsLoveRose 34F  
2432 posts
4/13/2006 5:54 pm

wow...i needed a good laugh!!

live more, laugh often, love much

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/14/2006 8:18 am:
You know what did I? Can't you just see her looking for that other 5 inches!


4/13/2006 6:18 pm

lmao.. loved it,, Thanks.. needed that one

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/14/2006 8:18 am:
Glad you liked it Mrsmuff....I wonder why those two ladies didn't just take care of each other? lol

Looking4sex44240 55F

4/13/2006 6:43 pm

LMAO...To funny

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/14/2006 8:19 am:
Looking....I'm so glad you stopped by!

rm_hippy6663 66M

4/13/2006 6:59 pm

That great .

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/14/2006 8:19 am: are so sweet to stop by! Looking forward to getting to know you better!

n0tatalker 40M

4/13/2006 9:25 pm


angelofmercy5 replies on 4/14/2006 8:20 am:
Notatalker....I loved your blog today! Thanks for stopping by!

seek_u_topia 52M

4/14/2006 3:35 am

That is perfect! thanks for the laugh darlin'!

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/14/2006 8:21 am:
Seek u...thanks...we all need a good laugh sometimes!

campfirecozy 68M

4/14/2006 4:01 am

Too funny!

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/14/2006 8:21 am:
Hey Cozy...I needed that hug today!

campfirecozy 68M

4/14/2006 10:17 am

here ya go:
(tiny neck smooches included),

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/14/2006 4:53 pm:
Oooh...Cozy..the tiny neck nibbles might just get you in trouble! They really turn me on.

Juliet610 52F

4/16/2006 12:21 am

Thanks for a much needed laugh! Keep 'em coming!


angelofmercy5 replies on 4/16/2006 7:56 am:
Juliet...been missing you! Glad you could get a chuckle out of this.

rm_unlistedone 66M
2718 posts
4/16/2006 1:03 am

I'm back home again! hug, me

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/16/2006 7:55 am:
OMG!!!!!! I'd like to do more than hug you! I can't believe you are back! I'm do happy! ~doing happy dance naked outside~ Now you know I'm happy if I'm doing that!

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