Life's Hard Knocks  

angeldevillvr 54F
92 posts
3/31/2006 2:26 pm

Last Read:
4/20/2006 4:31 am

Life's Hard Knocks

Why is it when thing sstart going well for you that you get hit with somethign that send syou flying back 90 feet. Things were lookign up for me I was gettign caught up on bills, got a pay raise and have been dating a really nice guy. Today I get a phone call from my daughter (sdhe just turned 18 yesterday). She tells me she is 4 months pregnant. Doesn't graduate until May and is going to school and waitresses on the side. What a shocker that is!!!

thing is there is so much stuff goign on with my ex with my parent sthat I hav eto keep this shocker bottled up until after April 15 when all of that will be taken care of so that my folks dont have more stress put on them.

I know a baby should be a time of happiness but when the mother is still in high school and un married it makes for ruff times. I look back over the last 4 years and it now make sme wonder if I did the right thing when I separated from my now ex and made the decisions I did concerning the kids.

When we separated I was working in a town that I didnt want my kids going to school in and I felt that with their parent sgoing through a divorce the least change they were put through the better so I left the kids with their dad to live in the house they had known all their life; to stay in the school they had attended all their life, and to not have to adapt to new places, new friends, etc.

I did this because I loved my kids and thought is was the best thing for them so I put aside my feeling sand for quite a while I let that eat me alive because I love my kids dearly and felt rela bad at doing that. I look at thing sthat they have been through with their dad the past four years and I now think that I had made the wrong mistake but I can't change that now. Maybe if I had stayed and did what I had to do for the kids things would be different with them now. But I will never know.

Now I have to pull my head together so that I can help support my daughter through the next 5 months and the next years of her baby's life. If anyone has any words of wisdom please tell me them.

Well enough rambling Im gonna go cry some more.

justafriend_529 63M
47 posts
3/31/2006 2:51 pm

Remember no matter how much you love her, it's her life and not yours. While she may not be married, the daddy of the baby is still responsible. make sure he is aware and that he takes responsibility. If he doesn't want to, the DA's office will be happy to assist free fo charge.
It will get a little harder befroe it get's easy, but the baby will make up for it.
Good Luck.

spacecadet561 61M

3/31/2006 4:20 pm

If your daughter isn't ready for motherhood, consider adoption. There are lots of couples out there who would love to have a child to call their own. I gather that you're also not quite ready to be called "Grandma". Do whatever you can/must to see that your daughter at least finishes high school. As justafriend_529 noted, the father of your grandbaby is also legally and morally responsible. Good luck. May God grant you the wisdom, patience, grace, love, strength to get through this. You've found at least two sympathetic souls in this place.


angeldevillvr 54F

4/2/2006 4:10 pm

Well with what shes had to endure the past 4 years she is quite ready to do this. Just I know that as a woman with little education outside of high school your job opportunities ar elimited and having a baby this soon in life will make it that much harder. I look back on my life and I see the mistakes I made and you always hope to be able to keep your kids from making the same mistakes.

Dont know if Im ready to be a grandma or not but I dont have a choice in the matter. She is living with the father of the baby so as fAZar as that goes he will be taking responsibility I am assuming. I will do what I can for her but the divorce was a ruff one and because of things I am struggling myself.

Well enough ramblings and Im sure there will be updates on this as time goes on.

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