o O o O ** OrGaSmic!  

amberabercrombie 38F
11929 posts
4/9/2006 3:20 pm

Last Read:
5/10/2006 12:49 am

o O o O ** OrGaSmic!

Those that are my regular blog readers know that I have NEVER had an orgasm, what I haven't asked ALL of you is advice on how to achieve one or what it does for him or her...am I really missing out... have you had one...have you gave one to her?

Short and sweet tonight, the way I like it

rm_cnilingsfan2 49M
158 posts
4/9/2006 3:40 pm

Sorry to hear that As for myself I have had plenty alone and with a partner and given allot to the women I have been with over the years. I find that I get great satisfaction bringing my partners to the big O. Each woman is different though, you could try long acts of for play with allot of oral stimulation before getting into the fucking. Why not try by yourself and find what your body likes ie. your clit being rubbed hard/soft,fast/slow or your G-spot being played with. It's your body listen to it as it will let you know when it is happy

oldude1946 72M

4/9/2006 3:44 pm

I always wait untill the woman goes first. Your lovers aint doing their job right.

MyRealLoverOne 47M

4/9/2006 4:00 pm

Well...hun...it is really hard to explain in words...but, being friends and all....I would be happy to show you..........

rm_cnilingsfan2 49M
158 posts
4/9/2006 4:00 pm

Well said oldude, I agree

rm_cnilingsfan2 49M
158 posts
4/9/2006 4:04 pm

Damn wished I had said that

tamethytension 55M
2320 posts
4/9/2006 4:35 pm

This need begin with your relaxation of mind and body. It needs continue with visualizing that which excites you. Is there any particular image or sequence of images that drives at least curiousity if not outright titillation? Eventually you will want to identify external errogenous zones. But leading up to that identify those portions of your outer skin surface that tickles with a brush of the hand. Have you ever had a professional massage? The relaxation and flush of skin with blood as capillaries are massaged can heighten your sensitivity helping you discretely identify potential sources of more intimate pleasure. Once armed with this knowledge, you should engage your partner with the EXPRESS PURPOSE or merely massaging you. At first, a standard deep body massage with or without oils (I prefer body lotion for this task) to increase blood flow and bring you into a more relaxed state of being. Then your partner should, over the course of an hour or so, delicately trace patterns over your entire body (you are face down for this). It will require discipline and desire on the part of your partner to stay focused on the task at hand ... namely to allow YOU to mentally explore and tease apart what merely feels good from that which excites you. Communicate this to your partner as this process unfolds.

This is the beginning. Having traced with a light touch with feather or finger, it is now time for your partner to do the same with lips ... BUT again DELICATE and SLOW. Here and there you should again communicate (if only through gasps and moans) what action sends shivers through you ... I recommend a partner tease a bit with a tongue flicker at these special moments. Beyond the obvious of lips and nipples, your partner should know secret areas (the back of the knee) and techniques (brush of one's hair). If this is your first time, and you have already gone stage 1, it can heighten your awareness to be physically restricted. I am not talking about bondage per se, but if you find yourself squirming too much when a sensitive area is piqued, too much of the energy required to reach your threshhold can be lost in the moment.

Successfully, having explored Stage 2, it is time for your partner to work with you. Building upon the previous stages, now taken in hand explore your body, caressing it increasingly massaging your outer labia. While you do so, your partner either with an appropriate device that you are already comfortable with or their fingers should further (SLOWLY and DELICATELY) explore) your inner labia, vaginal walls (for the moment leave the clitoris alone). Your partner should be simultaneously, purposefully, and selflessly kissing those areas, your lips, breasts, etc that have been identified as sensitive.

In some form or another, these are the initial three stages I take a woman through with whom I have never made love, and thereby learn a great deal about her. There is much more to follow depending upon the outcome of these ministrations. But this should get you started.



Allsleeky 37F

4/9/2006 4:51 pm

I was 14 when I had my first orgasm.
I agree with Sexyfitwoman! You have to learn more about your own body to know what pleases you!

champagnechaser 42F
1639 posts
4/9/2006 4:54 pm

How sad! Get a vibrator and practise self-love.

fantasylover_05 63M

4/9/2006 5:00 pm

I actually have been with a woman that had NEVER had an orgasm before... until she was with me that is!! I have also been with a woman that had nver had an orgasm with a man before (only through masturbation) again until she was with me!!! LOL LOL

I believe it requires patience.... clitoral stimulation can be a huge key to the first one... it seems once you have had one it gets easier from there.....

I agree with many of the women here.... obviously you have not been with a man who can and will do what it takes to bring you there... so get a vibrator and try different things... but I would start with ficus on clitoral stimulation and then explore from there!!

Unless the guy is comfortable exploring different things and will be patient to find what it is that you will like... you must find it on your own so you can tell him!

I would LOVE to SHOW YOU!!

rm_acer57 60M
124 posts
4/9/2006 5:04 pm

Call me. Someone needs to talk this Kitten out of her tree!

intierzha 45M

4/9/2006 5:22 pm

I'm really sorry to hear that (I guess I had not read earlier entries from a certain point because I did not know) and it is quite distressing for you are clearly an amazingly sensual woman that would no doubt enjoy such pleasure. From a self-satisfaction point of view, it is all about knowing your body best and what gives you the most pleasure. From my own experience, if a woman does not have at least one or more orgasms, then I am not doing something right in helping bring her to satisfaction. Wish I could add more, but I really have no experience with a woman that has never orgasmed. Hope my ramblings had some coherence today


Brainy42 54M

4/9/2006 6:07 pm

Have tongue, will travel.

1sugardaddy05 54M
7 posts
4/9/2006 7:27 pm

I think that you if you learn more about your body and what gets your juices flowing, you will be able to help your partner get you there.

SweetSuperDancer 39M
1 post
4/9/2006 9:24 pm

You need a man who knows how to give you G-Spot stimulation and massage to get an explosive orgasm....not just one but multiple vulcanic orgasms one after the other to release the sexual tension of the past years. You need an expert with experience, not just an ordinary man...and I know such an expert.


tomsbraves 47M

4/9/2006 9:26 pm

you have been with the wrong people! if you haven't cum from someone eating your pu**Y then they didn't know what they were doing and haven't had it done to you 100% right!!!!get a vibrator and work it!!

blueguy1051 61M

4/9/2006 11:15 pm

All of the comments here are fine and good, but if you haven't been able to cum with a vibrator, perhaps a trip to your gyn might be in order. Many women have never cum with a partner or manual self-stimulation, but it's very rare for a woman not to cum with a vibe. The ones from the sex shop are not always the best. A small "travel massager" has been know to be very effective.

I've never had one myself (a female orgasm), but just from witnessing them, it appears to be rather spectacular.

ladywantslover 63F

4/10/2006 12:16 am

Hi Amber. Your largest and most active sex organ is your brain honey. If you are not tuned into your body and what turns you on and your brain is not connected to your wet pussy, then you will never have an orgasm, no matter who does what to you, when. You have to allow yourself to feel, taste, touch, hear, smell in way you never have done before. Put your fingers inside yourself and feel your pussy, take out the fingers and smell yourself, lick your fingers and taste yourself and listen to yourself as you play with your clit and push your fingers inside. Let your brain wake-up and begin to live sweetheart! YOu are missing out.............Mistress

rm_concupisant 57M
1 post
4/10/2006 12:55 am

i now u wanna it, u got it with two of us lovely malee and fe,what do u wait for if we there for u..........

sassybelle21 33F  
13313 posts
4/10/2006 1:34 am

Sad to say but I've never had any orgasm from penetration. But when I use my bullet while I play with myself, I've never failed to achieve one Oh I'm so jealous of those chicks who can squirt

swallowsdontspit 65M
276 posts
4/10/2006 1:54 am

aa, like mzhh says, time to get started-how fast?QUICK...!!!

4Luven2 42M
42 posts
4/10/2006 3:05 am

Do it yourself, then you'll know what makes you tick.....then direct the guy you're with......only way we know is if you tell us.......................except for me, ofcourse....I just know.
Mucho Luv

StaynHardnHot 43M
305 posts
4/10/2006 3:24 am

Yes you are definately missing out....hopefully not for long....would love to hear your thoughts on this Illegal AliensAmnesty or Expulsion

rm_3sperfect3 37M/30F

4/10/2006 4:34 am

I actually read somewhere that most women cannot acheive an orgasm from penetration alone, they need some contact with their clitoris as well. truth or fiction? i dont really know, i think it depends on the person.
I hope all goes well for you and you find a person who can help you, but exploring your own body and finding out what pleases you will definately help.

Seriously_Real 49M

4/10/2006 8:35 am

"Short and sweet, just the way I like it"....

Well that might be part of the problem right there....heh.


muscles4u2have 56M
1645 posts
4/10/2006 9:04 am

RELAX!! I think this is one of the most important keys!! Yes most of my partners have a double orgasm. G and Clit! I did go out with a gal for awhile that had never had one and I couldn't help her out either. But I agree with SEXY F.!!

Maybe I should show you how to acheive an orgasam!!

rm_1sexyroo 57M/57F
333 posts
4/10/2006 1:24 pm

Fascinating , never has one ????? I feel for you I could probably pontificate for hours on the subject but in my limited experience for women it seems like it is mostly 90% mental and 10% physical, I have had lovers who have claimed to experience orgasmic delight without even touching any part of themselves. These are what I call "moots" , cause they really are moot , if she has already had one then move on to whats next.
As for what it means to me when my lover arrives , well let me say its all GUUUUDDDDDD. ITs what being with someone else is all about , if I were only interested in myself I could stay home watch porn and shoot away to my hearts content, and probably save alot of emotional investment and cash too. But thats not what sex is all about it is for me the MUTUAL enjoyment , so if you aren't enjoying it then I can only suggest some self exploration , look into the mirror and ask yourself why am I not getting into this , explore your own body because honey its yours and if you don't know it how can you expect a lover to get to know it ????
After that personal expierences will vary from person to person and the management does not take any responsibillity for the quality and quantity of personal experience in whole or in part.

honeycomb1974 45M/44F
282 posts
4/10/2006 1:26 pm

You might want to give this a try, find a female friend who you trust and are attracted to.Let her please you, a man will never know a woman's body wants and likes better than another female.Women tend to be gentle and patient in giving you what you want.

rm_Crazyman1169 48M
28 posts
4/10/2006 4:29 pm

Aaawwww Amber honey..... stop reading this and go out and buy a damn vibrator....come home, grab some wine....relax.... get a little turned on.....and start exploring.... OH SHIT !!!!! .... if you have one tonight ....we may never see you again..... i'm going to go buy stocks in Duracell.....

Look if you're having trouble.... I'm about 20 minutes away from you... just let me know... I could come over and get you started... then I'll leave...promise.....


sillyperv 55M

4/10/2006 4:52 pm

Yeah, after you try all this, hoping that the first attempt works, try faking it until you make it. Sometimes an actor is in the appropriate mood for the scene and just keeps faking his way through it until the mood is reached.

Fake having an orgasm, alone or with another and don't keep it a secret and laugh your ass off because it will feel stupid and embarrassing and keep doing it until you're comfortable and who knows.

If this doesn't work I'd recommend voodoo

hansum_strangrr 48M
384 posts
4/10/2006 6:12 pm

I'm sure that you have plenty of offers, other than the ones that I read. You are beautiful and you have to feel that way. Maybe some tequilla... LOL. Just joking. You have a lot of advice here. I'll just add that I was successful in getting a non-cummer to have an orgasm by asking over and over how does this feel. When she was shaking and couldn't tell me anymore, I attacked that spot. Good luck and I'll stand in line with the other million guys that would like to offer their services.

Everybody Dies, Not Everyone Really Lives.

JaniSux 46F

4/10/2006 8:10 pm

Well.. the first O I ever had, was by my own hand and way before I'd ever had sex.. in fact I've had more O's by being fingered, being eaten or by masturbating, then I have ever had during sex.. All that I learned about my body while masturbating, helped me later either alone or with a man.

I wish I could instruct but every one's body is different, although I did see some important points being covered by those friends like TameThyTension..

I still don't know exactly how I get there, and what I do know that works for me.. may not work for you..

I wish you well and hope that you have many orgasms in your future...


tomsbraves 47M

4/10/2006 9:10 pm

maybe I should show you how by giving you the best tongue lashing you'll ever have, GUARANTEED!!!!!

reverend21 50M
1913 posts
4/10/2006 9:32 pm

ya got be bullshittin' me, not too good on verbal instructions, I'm more of a hands on guy, so, I'm her for ya babe

EverReady343 48M

4/10/2006 10:58 pm

Try this it might work! Insert your finger, curl it upwards and gently caress the upper wall of the vagina. When with a partner he or she should do this and lick your clit at the same time. I personally love when a girl loses control when she orgasms! Don't we all!


rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
4/10/2006 11:09 pm

I admit, I'm a bit slow sometimes, so explain this to me again. Never?!?! Uh ... then what's the point? I'm so sorry.

cutevixen69 50F

4/11/2006 1:43 am

Wow, I feel bad for you..... orgasms are truly wonderful. I think I'd have a hard time going a week without one (okay, maybe even a few days unless I was sick!).

As others have said, one of the keys is understanding your own body. Indulge yourself in a fantasy that really gets you hot 'mentally', relax and just explore your body to find your own hot buttons.

I think it's also important until you know what really works for you to have a patient lover who is willing/able to work with you to help you get there. Not all women will reach orgasm from the exact same things. So it can take some playing around (no pun intended) to figure out what will work for you.

Good luck!

Brainy42 54M

4/11/2006 3:54 am

Who needs an airline? Airlines don't fly from Mississauga to Toronto... Just tell me when and where.

Fletch8491 51M

4/11/2006 6:52 am

As you can tell from all of these post, most people find it amazing that woman has not had the big O before. I have been with two women in the past that had not had a real orgasm before we started sleeping together and I was able to give their first of many. I am not one to brag because I don't think that I have some great knowledge that others don't possess. I just believe in exploring a woman's body and finding out what makes her tick. I truly believe in pleasing my partner. That is paramount to me. One needs to appeal not only to your physical sexuality, but also to your cerebral sexuality. The brain is the largest sexual organ and errogenous zone and it can not be ignored. You have recieved some very good advice from others, so I have nothing really to add except that the man that will give it to you will need to focus on you first. A selfish man that is only interested in his pleasure will never get you off. Good luck to you.

rm_KirkVW44m 56M
688 posts
4/11/2006 7:57 am

Its really simple but your lover must be in touch with who she or he is first.. Its also about chemistry between two lovers. Yes alot have sex but they are not lovers in the essence of the word. It doesnt take 1 hour to give a woman an orgasm in fact i can get my lover off in way under 2-3 minutes. Sometimes they get so hot that they come within a few seconds of pushing my cock inside. Its all about pure want, and desire of the individual. Orgasmic sex is more mental then physical anyways.

rm_lucky125125 48M
91 posts
4/11/2006 8:01 am

1. Relax
2. Know what makes you feel good
3. Think about what you might like
4. Share everything with your partner
5. Try, Switch, Change, Add, Move Around, Etc.
6. Keep sharing
7. When you get that feeling you will know
8. Let your partner know
9. Nothing is sexier than making your partner Lose All Control
10.Lose All Control, Don't hold back, Just let Go
11.Remember the First One is just the tip of the iceburg.

Good Luck, Have Fun, It will Happen

tomsbraves 47M

4/11/2006 5:00 pm

not brazen words just the truth, 100% truth. if you are willing to give it a shot i'm the one for you! i promise to take great care of you!

Djeeper1987 48M

4/11/2006 10:29 pm

Patience fair lady, and it will cum...I agree with the women on this subject of you not having an orgasm. I have talked to many women over the years and one thing I have learn is free yourself to the possibility. Explore yourself in ways you never though of. Once you have found that inner missing piece, that I don't see how you can't have an ORGASM. I wish you the best of luck!!

Carpe Diem

cutevixen69 50F

4/12/2006 10:47 am

    Quoting amberabercrombie:
    You know I really thought orgams were less common than it seems! I have a friend who has never had one from pentration either ... although she can get one from her toys whereas I cant...im super jealous of all you woman! lol.
Personally, orgasms from penetration have been a little more difficult. Usually it takes me a good deal of warming up to get there and at least one clitoral orgasm before.

I have a really intense relationship with my current bf. Interestingly enough, around 90% of the time I have orgasms from penetration with him but for the first time ever, we're having issues with me getting there with clitoral ones. It's not that it doesn't happen, but its just a lack of consistency. It's taken him a long time to understand that if we don't figure this out soon, it will be a relationship breaker for us. I just hate the female equivalent of blue balls AFTER having had a really intense session of making love without having had release. I think it's been more frustrating with me because my previous lover had sooo much patience and I think he got a kick out of seeing how many orgasms I COULD have.

Comparing the two situations - one thing that is different is that with the ex, we spent a lot longer making love in general. With the current, it tends to be multiple short sessions a day and the ex was usually several light sessions with one much longer ones. We also flipped around a lot between activities until I had my first orgasm which REALLY helped me get there. (It also helped him last a lot longer too.)

Don't get too caught up in toys.... honestly, they really don't do it for me unless they are used by the person I am with and only then because I love the sensation of DP and toys can help I've had a few friends that had orgasm issues and it was a mix between toys ended up helping them do the trick or not.

Let me suggest to you if you are enjoying the sex you are having without having orgasms, don't get too caught up in what you may be missing. I know that part of the problem I am having with my current situation is that there is so much tension on both of our sides that its hindering things. I can't speak for all women obviously, but I REALLY have to be relaxed and just enjoying what is going on - being and living 'in the moment'.

lightswitch1963 70M/54F

4/12/2006 1:53 pm

I'd start with a trip to your doc. Other than that, play with yourself and see what your body likes. Jokes aside, maybe you haven't found the right guy. I know they all think they are the best, the right one is out there, good luck sweetheart. I hope you have at least one. (I average 7 at least)

Brainy42 54M

4/12/2006 5:45 pm

    Quoting amberabercrombie:
    No kidding! I didnt realize you were that close to me! I travel to Streetsville often for family.
Well maybe you let me know the next time you come out this way... I'm just one 401 exit past Streetsville. Or, if you find me completely irresistable and can't wait that long, tell me where you are and I'll come and meet you (or should that be meat and cum you... well, maybe not... there's a punchline there somewhere, I just can't find it).

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
4/12/2006 9:46 pm

    Quoting amberabercrombie:
    Well jesus Kelli I still like a good dick lol...I aint dead girl.
I'm sorry Amber, this was just too good to pass up ... Please don't be mad ...

spacecadet561 61M

4/13/2006 2:58 pm

Some women seem to be able to have orgasms easily and frequently. Others seem to require a lot of attention to just the right spots. Learning your own body sounds like a good start. Finding someone (male or female) who cares enough to go to the trouble to at least try to bring you to orgasm is another good idea. Forget the guys who just want any old pussy to cum in: let them play with themselves (myself included on a number of occasions). A woman in the throes of an orgasm is a wonder to behold, and to hold. Happy hunting.


w69tyger 51M

4/20/2006 10:49 am

Sounds to me like your lovers never took the time to figure out what makes you tick,because if they did G-spot and clitoral stimulation at the same time for a long period of time with toys or tongue.You would of had a Big-O like my last girlfriend who lost consciousness for a couple of minutes.Good lovers are hard to find bad lovers are everywhere.I have personally found 2 good lovers in 20 years,so like i said bad lovers are eveywhere.Good luck and hunting.

their_be_pirates 65M
7 posts
4/22/2006 4:16 am

a little vauge but hell put it under the bathtub faucet , warm water running slowly let it come natural and enjoy

poborski1975 42M

4/28/2006 6:14 am

you need to find a man who can be told how to fuck you but you should do it yourself first with a big toy

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