Little Johnny Jokes  

rm_alamo1235 59M
487 posts
6/9/2006 9:35 pm

Last Read:
6/1/2007 3:42 pm

Little Johnny Jokes


Little Johnny Jokes

( Disclaimer We all remember the Little Johnny Jokes…. Here are a few… Little Johnny humor can be a little rude sometimes, that’s just Little Johnny. I truly hope none is offended that is not the intent at all)


An elementary school math teacher asked her class one day, "If there are three birds on a wire, and a farmer shot one, how many are left?" One little boy said two, but little Sally, realizing it was a trick question, said, "None, 'cause everyone knows that if you shoot at birds they all fly away." The teacher congratulates her on her correct answer. Little Johnny, however, disagreed. He said, "No, there would be one -- the one that the farmer shot."

The teacher replied, "No, Johnny, you're wrong, but I like the way you think."

"OK, teacher, I have a riddle for you," boasted Johnny. "Let's say three women are at a bar and they each order a single scoop ice cream cone. The first one eats it by gently licking it around the edges, the second slowly sucks the ice cream off the cone from the top, and the third gobbles the top and then sucks the rest out of the cone. Which one is married?" After a few seconds of contemplation, the teacher replied, "Well, I think it must be the third, the one that gobbles the top and sucks out the inside."

Johnny responded, "No, teacher, you're wrong -- it's the one with the wedding ring. But I like the way you think."


Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"


A third grade teacher came in to the room one day and found a drawing of a penis on the blackboard.

She suspiciously looked at her students but didn't say anything. Instead, she rubbed it off. The next day, she came in and saw another drawing of an even bigger penis on the board. She frowns and rubs it off. The third day, she came in and saw another penis drawn on the board. This time, it's huge, covering up almost half of the space.

She couldn't take it anymore so she screams out to the room full of noisy children, "Why do you kids like drawing this penis on the board? And why is it getting bigger each day?"

Little Johnny then screams out back to her, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets."


Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act.

Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts Little Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"


A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. Shestarted her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand
up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"


The teacher, in an attempt to stimulate their minds, asked the class the following question,

" What is bright red and shiny?"

Little Johnny jumped up and shouted, " A fire engine !!!!???"

"No! No!" said the teacher," But I like the way you think. Anyone else?"

Little Susan replied that it was an apple and the teacher was happy except Johnny of course.

Anyway, Little Johnny asked the teacher if he can ask a question to which she nodded OK. " What is long, hard, rounded and has hair at one end? "

"JOHNNY!!!" she screamed, "WE'LL HAVE NONE OF THAT TALK HERE..."

Johnny replied, " No, it's a toothbrush, but I like the way you Think.


Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so well during the year that the teacher suggested to the principal that they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he'd missed.

The principal agreed so they called Johnny into the office, explained, then the teacher asked,

"Johnny what does a cow have four of, that I only have two of?"

Johnny replied, "Legs."

The teacher asked, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that I don't have in my pants?"

Johnny replied, "Pockets."

The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?"

Johnny replied. "Rome."

The teacher turned to the principal and asked, "Should we pass him?"

The principal replied, "Better not ask me, I got the first two wrong!"


JaniSux 45F

6/11/2006 12:52 pm

awwhhhh! lol!


rm_alamo1235 replies on 6/11/2006 3:08 pm:
Janie,

Thank you so much for dropping in.

Have a wonderful wonderful day.

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