Alochol Warnings we will never see  

rm_alamo1235 59M
487 posts
5/21/2006 6:54 pm

Last Read:
12/28/2010 8:20 pm

Alochol Warnings we will never see


Subject: Alcohol warning

Due to increasing products liability litigation, the American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in your getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.



CalicoSexKitten 51F
1880 posts
5/21/2006 7:44 pm

LOL at all of those! I have just one to add because this happens to me all the time when I go out with my friends:

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to blow toxic second-hand smoke in the face of your non-smoking friends who are already irritated at your ass for making them come to the bar with you in the first place!



Calico =^..^=


"Like the space around me I take my spot in time"


rm_alamo1235 replies on 5/23/2006 2:28 pm:
This is true and I am guilty of this to.

JaniSux 46F

5/21/2006 9:27 pm

lmao! They were a trip alamo. If you've read my post [post 302500], you'd know that with me this one is true too...

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may have you thinking that public nudity is acceptable..

lol

Thank you for the laugh!
Janie


rm_alamo1235 replies on 5/23/2006 2:20 pm:
Janie,

You mean it isn't. Dang, no wonder I have people looking strangely at me.

DAISYDUKE1004 51F
534 posts
5/22/2006 6:54 am

Too flippin funny....LMAO....Some of those sound REALLY familiar...Oh my flippin god...LOL...Take Care ~D~


rm_alamo1235 replies on 5/23/2006 2:22 pm:
some are really familiar to me also.

swooness 36F

5/22/2006 3:17 pm

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

This is the kicker. This is the one that turns me into superwoman and I believe I can do almost anything, which then causes me to come face-to-face with my inabilities the next day when I have to pick up the messy trail I left behind only 6 hours before (including my broken arse).


rm_alamo1235 replies on 5/23/2006 2:26 pm:
I have known this feeling and I do agree.

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