Open Relationships  

aascrompn 43M
6957 posts
3/5/2006 2:00 pm

Last Read:
10/18/2006 6:21 am

Open Relationships


This is something that has baffled me since I've joined this site. Originally, I was under the impression that there were only few marriages/relationships that were open. However, after having been on this site for a few months now, I see a very large number of couples that are open.

How does that conversation start? "Hey dear, I love you, but can we possibly have sex with others?" I'm not trying to be rude w/ this, I'm simply facinated by the thought of somebody having to bring it up.

How did you bring it up? What kind of strain did it put on your relationship, if any? Was one person hesitant?

caressmewell 55F

3/5/2006 2:04 pm

I actually brought it up with my husband this past week over dinner and drinks, while it was not a long conversation, I do hope that I have planted a seed.


saddletrampsk 55F

3/5/2006 2:17 pm

Still not sure how to bring it up in everyday conversation..any hints?


fantasylover_05 63M

3/5/2006 2:18 pm

Good question aascrompn!! I have no idea... my wife and I have never talked about sex in any form!! Of course we don't have any either.....

I am curious to see the comments here!


junior_pipe 42M
1 post
3/5/2006 2:19 pm

hello l am a turkey. l don't speek ing


LustyTaurus 50M
21253 posts
3/5/2006 2:26 pm

Good Question....sure like the answer to this one myself.

lustytaurus


jadedbabe78 107F

3/5/2006 4:05 pm

I have actually discussed this very topic with the camel recently.

I forget how I brought it up. It as a funny conversation though. I think he thought I was BS'ing, lol.

It's not all that uncommon and I've heard couples rave how it actually makes their relationship stronger.

I just have a problem with sharing, soooo.......lol.


Lioness_girl 46F
3494 posts
3/5/2006 4:33 pm

That's an interesting question, but I don't have any idea what to tell you though.

Lioness_girl

Come have fun! Visit my blog at Lioness_girl


pinkzplaytoyz 51F

3/5/2006 4:35 pm

I'm like Jadey, I have a problem sharing....
and I would have a problem if my partner wanted to share...

But you're right about the number of couples on here with open relationships...its mind boggling to realize how many do!


kelly402005 53F

3/5/2006 5:05 pm

Hmmmmmmmmm.....
I guess,
it has to be something mutual.......
I have an open marriage.......
Haven't even set my eyes on him for at least 3 yrs....... LOL!
Whatever! ~hugging ya~


MyRealLoverOne 47M

3/5/2006 6:04 pm

Let's see....how about...oh..by the way huney, I did the babysitter when I took her home last night...so...I guess you can have the paperboy when he cums in the morning.....


TzarsAmuseChant 42M
2854 posts
3/5/2006 6:34 pm

I have often wondered that myself. First time in your blog, man. I like it alot. I'll be back!

Nominate! [post 257540]


JustaSeeker 107F

3/5/2006 8:32 pm

To answer your question in a serious way, I'd say that it's one of those things, I guess...one day you just realize that you have to talk about it so you do...when you're married but you're not making love- and you haven't done that for a long time- it's fairly obvious, so the talk doesn't come as a huge shock. Then you figure out what everybody wants to do about it...and maybe there are reasons that one person exploring their options seems like a rational compromise. Marriage is full of compromises, and for some people, who find themselves in certain situations, it works for one person to respectfully "turn a blind eye." Sometimes you love someone enough to let them be happy in a way that you can't provide. Just another point of view.


absolutelynormal 57F
6563 posts
3/5/2006 10:16 pm

Wow, and I was beginning to think that I was weird or something for not wanting to share. I have a hard time seeing sex as just sex. I really wish I could be like some of the people here are, it sounds like a lovely way to be. However, what happens if your SO likes whoever he/she was with more than you when you so unjealously shared him/her with them???


EyeCandy33333 46F
761 posts
3/5/2006 10:56 pm

Like bring your other man out of the closet and say darling I want you to meet emmmm-Trav-I've been fucking him for-emmm-how long darling?(Just kidding-and sorry about using yur name n vein Trav-lol!)


tillerbabe 57F

3/6/2006 12:25 am

I have a really good friend on here that has an "open" relationship with her husband...to each his own, but I was concerned becuase she did it becuase he was screwing around, she found out and to save their marriage she joined in the "fun"...now there is no turning back. I can't say that she is happy and I find her to be confused frequently. It's fine if everyone is happy about it and open...but to do it like they did ....I dunno. I have never considered married or "attached" guys...too much possiblity of too much drama...


rm_emmie234 53F
608 posts
3/6/2006 1:34 am

Just saw you on the slots! WOOOHOOO!!!!!!

OK, open marriage question.

I brought it up. Point blankHoney, I think we should see other people."
Of course he jumped at the chance. But....didn't quite work the way I had hoped. He had a difficult time with the open communication that went along with the open marriage. So, the two are definetly required to go together!
~E~


PailsDiverHonks 57F

3/6/2006 10:32 am

All I can say is I wish my marriage was open. Sure would make my life easier. I like Elbs idea, As an opener how about..."Honey after dinner I'm going to take the dog for a walk an have sex with xxxx down the street....."


libgemOH 57M/53F

3/6/2006 4:26 pm

Really good question and one I've been exploring myself. How did the world's most jealous little bitch end up in what is known as an open relationship???

I had one very bad experience with what most outside this site would consider deviousness, when I had sex with my then BF's best friend while he watched. I didn't do it because I wanted to have sex with his friend, I did it to shut him the hell up. And when he accused me of having an affair with his friend....first thoughts, NEVER AGAIN!

My best friend/lover and I have a relationship based on trust, openness and honesty. How that happened is still beyond me but it is truly awesome. We also both have very high sex drives (ok, we're both sluts ) and we are separated a lot due to his job, ordinarily only being together every other weekend. He is not new to this lifestyle as I am and introduced me to it.

At first, I about flipped and walked away from it. But I was intrigued. Trust is something I don't do well and I honestly didn't trust him at first. I could go through the whole thing here or you can read the post I wrote about it [post 254104].

He and I have simple rules. Be honest, don't sneak, be safe (physically and sexually), tell all the details to the other, when possible, tell before it happens and include the other (webcams are awesome, aren't they? ) and no kissing the opposite sex. Me being bisexual, I did tell him when it comes to women, I'm kissin and he thinks 2 women kissing about the sexiest thing in the world so....

And so.....


rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
3/6/2006 5:09 pm

This and the previous post are two of the most interesting discussion starters that I've seen on here. Way to go...thanks for asking these questions.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


silkysmoothlegs3 106F

3/7/2006 3:55 am

smiles @ your blogg...

How about

Darling.. you know the way your useless in bed..

you never make me cum

never touch the spot

well there is this person i know that will do all that for me and it doesnt cost anything..

reply from behind the newspaper.. is a grunt..

ok thankyou dear

of course as trav says.. u need to be married or attatched to start with..

giggles...

silky


rm_rickmeister3 54M
1 post
3/8/2006 7:51 am

My wife was curious about being with another woman while we were dating. I brought home some swinger magazines and we'd lay in bed and read the ads. It really turned her on. I asked her if she would like having a MMF threesome. The thought really turned her on but she didn't think she could do it. One night we were at a hotel and while we were out for dinner and drinks she said "the guy that checked us in was cute." Of course I got very excited and said "I could talk to him when we get back if he's still there." He was there when we returned. I went to the front desk and ask if I could have a word with him. I asked him if he'd like to party with us and with a look of relief he said hell yes. He initially was nervous when I approached him because he said he thought I saw him checking out my girlfriend. We went up to the room played strip poker and then we had sex with my girlfriend. It was great. So erotic to see her sucking another guys dick. We married soon after that and continued to have sex with others. She really got into women, then didn't want girls anymore just guys, then it was not ever doing it again, then once every couple years, and now I'm lucky to get sex (this is about 11 years later). To get to the point of this blog, I/she did enjoy it, it did enhance our relationship, and it did bring us closer. However, she started having feelings of guilt after the fact. She said she enjoyed the sex (MMF) but felt like it was wrong afterward. My view is as some others. If you're secure in your relationship and both agree I don't see anything wrong with consensual adults having sex. I'm not talking about either person going out on their own but always together. I think it's only natural to want to have sex with someone, we're programmed that way. I also believe if more marriages were open there would be less cheating. Besides we get tired of the old car we drive, we change the decor in our home because we want a new look, we change hairstyles, etc..So what is wrong with periodic change in sexual energy and emotion. It's definitely not for everyone especially for the overly religious but it sure is fun. I know my wife will come around again she enjoyed it too much to say never again. Our last MMF was last September. It was the first time in two years. She said she was nervous at first but then found herself enjoying it. I look forward to the next time.


aascrompn 43M
6444 posts
3/8/2006 8:22 am

Thank you everyone for you insight! I would love to comment, as usual, to every single one, but I am soooooo far behind I'll never catch up. This is the first or second time that I've had to duck out of comments, but I'm getting my ass kicked here.


mycin62 56F

3/10/2006 10:46 pm

This is the first time I've read your blog, and I have to tell you, I'm really enjoying it. Sorry for the late entry.

About open marriages: My husband and I have an open marriage, we always have, we've been married 10yrs. I think the key to a good open marriage is communication and honesty, about everything. We are not jealous people and have always viewed sex as something fun and exciting, and if bringing other people into it enhances that, all the better!

How it started, I had a married lover when I met him, he knew him, and was friends with him. It never bothered my husband that I was with him and we even had a few 3-somes with him. When we decided to get married, it just seemed natural to keep the relationship open. We decided to give each other the permission to see other people and not cheat on each other.

Because we love each other so much and are VERY secure in our relationship it works for us.

Hope this helped you out.
Cin


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