aascrompn 43M
6957 posts
7/29/2006 6:02 pm

Last Read:
10/18/2006 8:00 am


I'm not sure why everytime I think I'm getting ahead, I'm hit w/ a damn obstacle.

Today was a very hard day for me. 'The One' has to make some pretty hard decisions over the next week, and for some damn reason, I feel I'm not going to come out on top. I know that this is negative thinking, but she really has a lot on the line.

What sucks the most out of this whole thing, is that I've completely changed my negative behavior. I have not been to the bar (except for last Saturday) in two complete weeks. This was to reassure her that I do have the ablility to adjust to a new lifestyle of 'us', rather me being a guy that comes home late every night. I've also been the happiest I believe I've ever been. I don't believe I even felt this close to my ex. The reason for that is, my ex was always holding something back. We tell each other everything. I just can't fathom the idea of losing her when I've never even had the chance yet. I don't want to go back to my old ways, as I've actually saved an incredible amount of cash, I've actually been pleasant to people, I just am a better guy all around.

If I do lose this battle, I'm pretty sure that I will be ok, but I won't be happy.

I don't know whether or not I should give her space to figure things out (which she claims she doesn't want), or if I should continue to chat. I don't want to be overbaring. I don't want to lose her, however. Do I continue to chat and hope things between us still grow like crazy, or do I talk less to let her mind settle some issues? If I do this, then maybe her current situation will look more attractive, b/c I'm not there to spread my influence...

~ AAS (Feeling I've lost already)

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