aascrompn 43M
6957 posts
7/15/2006 9:48 am

Last Read:
10/18/2006 7:48 am


Everything that I have in life, I've worked pretty hard to attain. I wasn't the smartest kid in the world and actually was held back in the third grade. I got mad at myself for not being as smart as others. I didn't understand why I was different. So, since that happened, I started to change myself. I studied my ass off every day. I was never told to do my homework, I just did it.

As the years progressed, I finished in about the top 10% of my graduating class of 450 people. I was fairly satisfied with that, but knew I could do better. When I went to college, I made the dean's list and president's list. I also graduated in the top 5% of my class.

I've always worked hard for what I've wanted. If I don't readily know an answer to something, I am usually quick to get it. That's what I'm used to doing...

Now, things are different... I don't have the answers. I can't find the answers. Can I provide what I need to provide to her? Dunno. Can I guarantee a better life? No. Is my best even half as good as her mediocre? Where are the answers? Can life be sorted enough to accommodate differences? What will happen when I show my weaknesses? Will she want to run? What happens when I don't have the right answers for her? What happens when I go through my slumps and am not always chipper? What happens...

Sometimes I feel scared that I'm fucking up somebody's life to accommodate my desires... This is NOT an easy feeling. On one hand, I believe I deserve the best for me. On the other hand, I don't want to make any mistakes that would lead to worsen her life...

Allsleeky 37F

7/15/2006 1:15 pm

I don't have any answers for you but hope it doesn't take you a life time to get them!
Good luck handsome!

aascrompn replies on 7/17/2006 8:35 am:
I hope not either... Thanks, sweety! I've missed you.

bardicman 51M

7/15/2006 1:44 pm

All you do is put one foot in front of the other....

I am not dead yet

aascrompn replies on 7/17/2006 8:36 am:
That's all I can do... it's working so far, i guess

OboesHonedIambs 63F

7/15/2006 2:37 pm

This is not a practice life and there isn't much perfect, so perhaps you may want to consider the concept of "Progress, Not Perfection". Relationships, like friendships, should evolve over time and yes, it's right to be taking care of your needs. The fact that you do consider your actions in regard to someone else's needs is pretty decent.

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

aascrompn replies on 7/17/2006 8:37 am:
I like this comment a lot... you're right about it not being a practice! Thank you!

TabithaElectra 39F

7/15/2006 3:08 pm

You don't need to worry about what happens when you are not being the life and soul of the party...if someone is with you, they are with you for who you are, including those times.

aascrompn replies on 7/17/2006 8:38 am:
now let's just hope she will be with me.

twirly_girl 48F

7/15/2006 4:08 pm

That's what being in love and having a relationship is all about.
For better or worse.
If it's meant to be then it will be okay.

You do know that you didn't make it through one day without posting about her, right?


aascrompn replies on 7/17/2006 8:39 am:
Here's crossing my fingers!

Yes, I caught that... I suck.

EroticaXTC 51F

7/15/2006 5:36 pm

stop thinking and just DO!!!

aascrompn replies on 7/17/2006 8:40 am:
I am sooooo trying!

PurplePeach72 45F  
9199 posts
7/15/2006 8:37 pm

Sounds to me like you worry too much. There no other today, take it and run with it. As someone else said if it's meant to be it will work out, and if it's not meant to be no amount of work, worry or study will make it work. So much in life is a double edged sword, just try to minimize how much you get cut and let other people (her) make her choices. Good luck.


aascrompn replies on 7/17/2006 8:41 am:
I do worry too much!! I loved your insight, thank you.

funintheday2006 57M
9659 posts
7/15/2006 11:26 pm

You mean "What happens when I'm normal?"

You know who you are, big step, good to be scared, means you are serious.

No one here can advise either of you but, we can hope that you both find the answers and are happy.

Good luck.

The site comic

aascrompn replies on 7/17/2006 8:42 am:
Yes, I am very serious! I certainly hope she is happy... Thank you for your comment.

ArtisticTwist75 42F
2505 posts
7/16/2006 2:52 am

Listen up Mister... Doubt is natural... sounds like you know not to let it determine who you are and what you want... so tell it to go F*** Off and remember she chooses to be with you for a reason...

Artistic (stepping off her soap box)

aascrompn replies on 7/17/2006 8:42 am:
I like when you get on your soap box! lol

crazygurl2xx 58F

7/16/2006 7:15 am

i am with exotica here...just go for it and good god, man ENJOY!

the things we add to each other's lives aren't always measured by material things if that's what you are talking about. obviously she has you, a man who Thinks about her needs...

that's a Whole Helluva Lot More than most will give.

aascrompn replies on 7/17/2006 8:44 am:
I do think about her all the time... maybe too much.

rm_macallan4u 48M
968 posts
7/16/2006 2:02 pm

You don't need the answers, you can't have the answers before getting into a situation. None of us can. We can't weigh ourselves down with questions that have no answers.

Can you provide what you need to provide to her? I'm sure you'll try, but I bet even she doesn't know everything she needs.
Can you guarantee her a better life? Nobody can.

If her wants, her needs aren't being met, it's up to her to communicate that to her and up to you to adjust. It's also up to the both of you to make sure that you are both comfortable and open enough to admit when things aren't right and more importantly, strong enough to use that information constructively.

Your desires are all that you can control. Trust that she's also in it to make you happy... it is a two way street afterall.

Like abqlady2 said, you don't need to seek perfection, just growth in the right direction.

Just my 2 cents...

aascrompn replies on 7/17/2006 8:47 am:
Very, very good comment! Thank you.

It's so very true about communication. I believe we do a very good job of it. She knows my strengths and insecurities. I just hope she can live w/ them. i owe you change?

LustyTaurus 49M
21253 posts
7/16/2006 10:12 pm

You know the answers're just scared. Some risks cannot be effectively mitigated, you just need to be aware of what they are and go for it anyway.

aascrompn replies on 7/17/2006 8:48 am:
This is soooooo very true! Thank you!!

HBowt2 60F

7/17/2006 4:18 pm

if you think too much you end up falling over your own feet...sometimes you just got to live it...

Become a member to create a blog