_CoffeeNoCream_ 53F
6527 posts
2/11/2006 2:16 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


When I was growing up, my mum paid close attention to the refrigerator. He liked to know how long the door was open. In milliseconds. My mum thought she could buy a new house if it weren't for our reckless misuse of refrigeration...

"Maybe," she'd say, "you want to take a picture and come back when you're ready?"

And I, already ill with SCD (Smart Coffee's Disease), would say, "But I'm looking for a food that gives off the right energy."

And she'd smack me in the head.

It happened so often that I developed a complex. Whenever I reached for the fridge, I had to ask, "Am I hungry enough to risk head injury?"

Today, all these refrigerators later, I still get nervous when I stand at the fridge. I feel the pressure to make a decision before the Jeopardy music ends and I get whacked in the head.

J, on the other hand, opens the fridge "just because." In the summer he waves it like a paddle fan to freshen his forehead. It's enough to give me a nervous breakdown.

One time I walked in to find that he had left the door open and ABANDONED THE SCENE ALTOGETHER. And though nothing has happened yet, I'm keeping my distance in case my mum's fist somehow falls out of the sky like the hand of God.

Liefs and Chill


RavenousBBW 44F

2/11/2006 9:09 am

would make for great diet plan....once afraid to raid the fridge, but what good are cookies without milk ~pouts~

Erik_Bloodaxe 57M

2/11/2006 10:01 am

Methinks Coffee needs fridge-therapy.

interested13563 54M
2557 posts
2/11/2006 11:17 am

Coffee: you are suffering from the well-known
Acute Refrigerator Anxiety Syndrome or ARAS.
As every shrink will tell you it can only be
treated with iced coffee. But be carefull!
There is a genetic link! ARAS can pass from
mothers to children, especially daughters!

leyndokona2 50F

2/11/2006 12:02 pm

Ever thought about getting a see-through fridge?

dontdateyou 45F
42 posts
2/11/2006 6:39 pm

I'm afraid of green peppers cuz when I was a kid my moms friend "threatend"me with one...She was like a 2nd mom, and had one in her hand while yelling at me for staring blankly into the refrigerator....I feel your pain.

oldman1776 79M
3164 posts
2/12/2006 1:35 am

LMAO I think you need mor coffee dear.

HBowt2 60F

2/12/2006 2:58 pm

The scariest moments are the ones where our head screams at us......'you sound just like your mother'......

Become a member to create a blog