A Family Moment  

WildWon1982 35M
625 posts
9/5/2006 9:47 pm

Last Read:
9/7/2006 9:06 pm

A Family Moment

I rarely talk about my family. There's nothing wrong, but there's also never anything to talk about that's of any real relevance. However, today is an exception.

Those who search back a few posts will notice that in my birthday trip to Philly/DE, I made an attempt to find my grandmother's grave. It was unsuccessful. The events leading up to her death, and the immediate aftermath, were an item of consternation for my family, my mother especially. To be left out of her mother's last moments because of a silly hatred of her boyfriend, it still stings mom to this day.

On the other hand, my suffering is silent, and subconscious. Every once in a while, I see Gram in my dreams. Sometimes we're in our old house, sometimes it's a random place. She talks to me. Sometimes the conversation is normal, about my everyday life, even though she's been dead five years. It's as if we're talking on the phone. Sometimes we relive conversations we've had long in the past. Sometimes she talks to me about death, and what the afterlife is like for her. She was always my comfort whenever I was afraid of death as a child. It's one of the few things that convinces me there's a Heaven.

Why do I mention all this? Today, September 5, would have been Gram's 75th birthday.

She was a strange woman to me. I lived under her roof for the first 13 years of my life. She smoked like a chimney, having two heart attacks before I was 12, the second requiring double bypass. She was also a diabetic, and the eventual cause of her death was colon cancer. She was never healthy as long as I knew her.

She was, at best, a packrat as far as organization. In typical old lady fashion, she had stacks of newspapers that were months old. Her dresser unit was completely covered in pills.

She was a staunch feminist. I guess she had to be, what with her husband leaving her, and having only daughters. When my sister and I would get in fights as kids, she'd break them up when I got the upper hand. The usual method I had for that was to punch or kick my sister in the stomach, or sit on her back. Gram would then grab me, throw me across the room, and berate me with screams of "She'll never be able to have children!" I couldn't help but think, "Damn, for a diabetic with cancer, you're pretty strong." Meanwhile, sis would come over and kick my in the nuts right in front of her. Apparently my reproductive abilities for the future were of no concern.

The last time I saw her was for my high school graduation. She was on chemo at the time, and very weak. She surprised me by driving the 400 miles with her live-in nurse, to see me graduate. She had to leave commencement early because it got too cold for her, but she got to see me walk. She was resigned to her fate at that point, telling me that she would try to make it back up the next year for my sister's graduation. She would at least fight till she got the notice, even if she was too weak to make it up. Then she would take herself off chemo and quote, "let herself go." I saw a picture of her that my aunt sent after the funeral, along with the obit. It was from a week before she died. She was so emaciated when she went. I didn't even recognize her.

There was a lot of sordid stuff surrounding the end of her life, but there was good that came of it. It brought my immediate family closer together emotionally, if nothing else for support, as her death was a week before my 19th birthday, and I didn't find out until after they buried her five days later. Her death, along with her service in the Navy during Korea, allowed for myself, my mom, and my sister, to all join the Sons of the American Legion, and the American Legion Auxilliary respectively. We've since dedicated the last 5 years to serving veterans, and we've gone up the ranks of the organization itself. The haunting dreams I have inspired an idea for a screenplay that I'm going to write in the next few months.

So, if you can read this Gram, happy birthday, I love you, I miss you, and also, why are you reading what your grandson writes on a sex site?

On a completely unrelated note, since this was kind of a down post, I was watching an old rerun of "Pee Wee's Playhouse" on Cartoon Network. Damn, Ms. Yvonne had a huge rack.

MWWwantmore 52F

9/6/2006 8:33 am

Very nice post WW. You must have been close to your grandmother for her to visit with you now. I remember in July it was the 6th anniversary of my grandfathers death and I went to visit his grave. I drove around that cemetary 4 times and couldnt find it. I called my mom so she could meet me there to show me, as soon as I hung up with her, I drove about 5 feet and was right there. He wanted my mom there with me.

I'll have a cafe, mocha, vodka, valium latte to go please!

Good girls go to heaven.....bad girls go down!!

mycin62 56F

9/7/2006 7:05 am

Great tribute to your grandmother, she must have been a very special lady. I believe are loved ones do visit us in our dreams, she's still with you, checking in from time to time.

NSAAddict 43F

9/7/2006 1:43 pm

I agree with Cin, she's still with you and I'm sure she's reading this and feeling special that she was so loved by you

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