Momma's Boy or Independent Man?  

Wickedcurve 54M
281 posts
7/29/2006 12:06 pm

Last Read:
1/1/2009 10:33 am

Momma's Boy or Independent Man?

I normally don't do this but I want to clear up any misperception regarding my current circumstances. There have been women in the past that have gotten turned off by my living accomodations. My living accomodations are this.

When I am in Springfield, MO I stay with my Mother. I do not live with my Mother as much as realistically she lives with me. Let me explain. My Mother lost her husband (my Dad) back in '97 due to cancer. I am an only child and in so many respects I am all she has left. She is on a limited income and doesn't have much. Since '00 I've supplemented her income as well as maintained the home in which she lives. Just because we reside together under the same roof when I am in Springfield doesn't mean I am not an 'independent' man and that I haven't cut the ties. To the contrary I describe myself as very independent.

For the last few years I've traveled and worked all over the United States, and for the majority of the time I've been away from home until most recently. There was one year that I was gone from home overall 45 weeks out of the year with one 6 month period of time that I never saw home. That was a pretty typical year regarding work until last year. Last year I began a similar line to my occupation but I worked more hours in a less amount of time. Last year I worked a third of the total time I worked the year before and earned just about the same. This enabled me to be home more and to concentrate on potential new ventures that I wanted to explore and possibly put into action. These ventures will enable me to get off of the road and earn even more than I was before.

So currently what it comes down to is I do have a choice with moving out of this home I now live in but when I look at the expense of that these are the questions I've asked myself. Why would I load additional expenses on myself right now that I don't have to have in order to live? If I moved from the home I now live I would still feel the need to help my Mother have some quailty of life by supplementing her income so why would I discontinue doing that, double up my expenses and cut my cash flow in half just for the sake of looking 'independent' to others?

Now I also want you to know that I've mentioned this is my 'current' situation meaning that by no means is this going to be a 'permanent' situation. At this current time I pay my own financial responsibilties as well as supplement my Mothers income so she can meet hers adequately. In no way am I broke. I do have money and more than likely more than the average blue collar working person. I just feel it's the right thing to do to adequately take care of myself as well as take care of the one that gave me life itself, Mother.

These ventures that I am exploring and possibly may put into action have great financial promise as well as being mentally and emotionally fulfilling. In the next couple of years I plan on having my own home, bought and paid for, as well as a nice bankroll. I will continue to take care of my Mother as I did before but the difference is I will have more resources financially at hand to be able to adequately take care of myself as well as her. This is what my goal is and it will come to pass.

All in all this has been brought to my attention before by others. It does dishearten me at times, however I know what the circumstances are firsthand while others merely jump to a conclusion based upon what the situation 'seems' to be. I agree that by all appearances it would look like I am an uninspired unmotivated individual that depends on their Mother to take care of them but realistically it is the other way around. I don't know of one person that would deny the person that gave them life itself the quality of what remains in their life for the sake of themselves 'looking' independent to others.

VCF1962 106F

7/29/2006 1:02 pm

I'm an only child too and I totally admire you for looking after Mom. The older we both get, the more we seem to irritate each other but maybe that's a mother/daughter thing ! Her hubby is 5 years younger than she is but I am not looking forward to that time coming. I earn a reasonable salary but there's no way I could look after her on my wages and keep a roof over my head too, and as I only have a 1 bed apartment, moving in wouldn't be an option.

Moving home is also not an option for at least 5 years due to financial constraints as well as house prices here being somewhat insane.

Also, why should you have to justify your living arrangements to someone ? What I personally would find unacceptable would be someone in their mid 40's renting a ROOM. That's for students - rent a house or apartment, but by that age I would have expected someone, especially if they were single, to be living on their own (or in your case looking after their parent(s).

Guess I just expect people to have the same as me.

Mistress Innuendo
Taking what you say and turning it into something naughty !!

SexGoddess2901 52F
207 posts
7/29/2006 1:16 pm

I admire what you are doing!

Oh you're not too far from me. LOL I love Neb. I used to live in Scottsbluff.

bikerbabe57701 51F

7/29/2006 11:29 pm

I guess I see it this way....people do what they have to do...I don't like to be judged for the way I live so I don't judge others for how they live. I am close to my parents too....although I'm not an only child...I am still if someone had to "move home" I'd be the natural choice.

I think it's a respect thing. I'm sure your mom does a few things for you..but I'm sure she doesn't fold your undies and make sure you use a clean tooth brush. Or maybe she does.

I see it this way. If you are happy and can live with all means carry on. Your an adult..I'm sure you know how and when to wear your big boy pants.

Wickedcurve replies on 7/30/2006 12:00 am:
"I'm sure you know how and when to wear your big boy pants."

That I am sure of,..your observation is correct!

rm_dejablu59 58F

7/7/2008 11:31 pm

As this was something we have already discussed and you know my point of view on the subject. I find it quite honorable of you to do what you are doing. I think every person should in fact when necessary take care of those who sacrificed for you. Family first and foremost. Nothing should come before you and the ones you love. If I hadn't mentioned this before I do respect you for what you are doing

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