When do I get to know you?  

WhyteRavenne 42F
106 posts
5/5/2006 11:44 pm

Last Read:
5/18/2006 7:51 pm

When do I get to know you?

When do you really know someone. I feel comfortable when I’ve talked with someone for awhile. I don’t see any reason to be anything, but myself. I sometimes make mistakes, but don’t we all? So, why, when I finally meet G. does he become a complete stranger to me? We’ve shared thoughts, talked on the phone, cybercammed, cyberdated and laughed at each others jokes for months, almost a year! Our first physical date was a disaster! I talked too much, but, I am not one for silence. He didn’t kiss me, until I pushed it on him, and then, he kept going on about wanting to go SLOW! Maybe it’s my breath? He did kiss me, truly kiss me, a couple of times, but, it seemed weird, since he would start, and then he would back off, like I bit him… I swear, I didn’t!

I’m glad when I got home that Shad was online. I don’t know what I would do without him. He really helps me out, and seems to have my best interest at heart. What is so strange, to me, is that he reminds me of Matthew in a LOT of ways. Not every, of course, he does have his special quirks that make me love him as his own being, but, in a lot of core attitudes, he and Matthew share a lot of the same truths. The scariest, though, is that Shad is becoming a POKER PLAYER.. great, just what I need, another one! Matthew doesn’t like it when I mention the similarities. I think it’s funny. It’s not that I think one is going to replace the other, they are very different, in as many ways, as they are the same.

rm_moonboy23 37M
893 posts
5/6/2006 12:12 am

life is full of strange people and experiences.
I am sure you are lucky enogh to enjoy at least few

JustExploring96 48M

5/6/2006 1:02 am

In some ways it is that very familiarity, having shared so much on a certain level of intimacy if you will that tends to create the confusion, the sudden hesistation when you finally meet.

Because as well as you know a person through whatever medium of discussion, once you meet there is the need to establish boundaries or even the fact that there are no boundaries.

Many years ago I met this young lady online and we talked for hours online, through email, on the phone and shared a number of very personal things about each other. We used to talk through the night and "share" the sunrise. We became extremely close and she knew things about me that no one else to this day knows.

It was over a year before we finally met and for the first little while it was ackward because we had each built up certain expectations and here finally after all this time the last few layers were being laid bare, the final assessment if you will.

As I said it was ackward for a time as we knew where our limits were on so many different areas but now together we had to establish and become familiar with what they were in person and because of our honesty, it was not long before the ackwardness was gone as we both pretty much knew what to expect.

Unfortunately most modes of communication that are not directly in person allow for a level of filtering and protection where one can be far more honest or open then they may be in real life and once they meet in person they may stumble for fear of rejection, crossing a boundary and blowing it or any number of little things because now they don't have that protection that a phone or email or a chat program offers.

People tend to be far more willing to be open in these modes as the rejection in some ways is far less harsh or they lie for whatever reason they have which creates its own problems. I've never seen the point in lying if you really truly plan to meet people.

But even being honest, people fear rejection and that fear causes some to go slow even when it is not in their best interest. It all comes down to communication, honesty, desire and caring in the end, at least in my books. With those, you can work through almost any fear.

dreamstate1 48M

5/16/2006 10:09 am

Mabey you should have just met him face to face allot sooner? Just a small suggestion for next time? Obviously both have to feel comfortable about the face to face meeting, but I find the longer it goes cyber the worse the letdown when you meet face to face and find the spark isn't mutual. Hope the next one goes better Ravenne

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