Once again... adrift. Why does the notion of commitment mean one and only one?  

WhyteRavenne 42F
106 posts
1/26/2006 9:09 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Once again... adrift. Why does the notion of commitment mean one and only one?

I found out by my best friend, my lover, my husband, the father of my children... whatever you want to call him, that my dream is so far beyond the scope of reality, it's almost impossible (hey, I believe, if we truly disbelieved in gravity, we can fly... so). It's so totally unfair!

I don't see why I have to just accept the fact that I have to love, live, and enjoy life with one person. I think it should be feasible that I can have two. It is just like being able to love more than one child, no? So, why can I not share my life with more than one man?!

Okay, yeah, it is seeming pretty impossible, though. The dream of finding another wonderful person that looks at me and thinks I'm a wonderful person, and looks at my family and says, WOW, am I lucky. It's not like I want him all to myself, I may not play well with others, but I am willing to share! Honestly, I want to share... that's what is making my life so wonderful. However, the moment people think commitment, they seem to have a meltdown, thinking only in monogamy can you have it.


I think that you CAN love without borders, I do. I just want to be reassured that my love is still special and unique and wonderful, and that I am committed to, and go on, play with others, have a good time, fall in love... just don't leave me behind, when you do.

Messed up idealist world I want... and it's tearing me apart...


(Princess Lips)

1/27/2006 12:22 am

some people do believe in a "poly" kind of love...

hard to do, but whatever works for you...

good luck!


smackyman 47M
3849 posts
1/27/2006 12:50 am

For some people like yourself it is possible - and then there are others that aren't just wired that way...the concept can't be computed...jealousy arises...arguements ensue...here's to hoping that there is an equitable solution to your dilemma on the horizon...for your sanity and his...

F1reman6969 50M

1/29/2006 8:37 pm

you are not alone, there are others like you out there.
i know those people and it takes a very sexually mature person to deal with these types of relationships.
be aware that all those that you love have to understand and respect you and your relationship to all these other people.
if they don't you are the one that will get hurt by more than one person.
if you have that commitment from others, then you will find that you may just create the poly relationship you desire.
for now be happy that you have at least one person who loves you.
many people don't get even that kind of luck.

f 1 r e m a n 6 9 6 9

LordPanAroused 49M

2/3/2006 12:33 am

Greetings WhyteRavenne,

I chatted briefly with CalgaryComic in the AFFChatroom and mentioned I had read the blog before...he suggested I post a hello to you here as well.

I don't know if monogamy is our natural state... I certainly see it as our societal state...and the current society, a holdover from puritanical Victorian ideals, is definately not natural...nor IMHO a healthy one...

Alas it is one that we live in and come into conflict with. Would be happy to chat with you sometime - you seem to be a very interesting not to mention very attractive woman.

rm_FreddyNG69 60M
114 posts
2/3/2006 12:15 pm

I see no reason why a person can't be an idealist and stay focused on real life. It is sometihng that helps many people achieve great things.

Loving without borders is possible even if you are in a marriage if both sides understand the rules, and both live by the same rules they impose on the other.

Become a member to create a blog