MMMMmm, Bed (and more weird ass thoughts.)  

WhyteRavenne 42F
106 posts
10/14/2005 11:57 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

MMMMmm, Bed (and more weird ass thoughts.)

Hmmm, I've some strange thoughts to go to bed on, tonight...

First: How does one figure out what is truly making one jealous? I know, just like all emotions, we are responisible for our own, however, what happens when they blindside, sneak around and viciously attack? Sometimes I wish I could give the responisbility of my emotions to someone else... by why disempower myself?

Second: How come I am supposed to be happy for the people that have flitted in and out of my life? I try to be open, honest and upfront with what I want, but then, sometimes they go for "greener pastures". Abandoning what they could ALSO have developed on this acre! I keep getting told to be happy for them, I brought them a bit of happiness by being me... but, what about MY FEELINGS? Bah!

Third: Why are some people afraid of being friends with someone they have sex with, but nothing more? I'm not looking to change my marital status, I'm not looking for a new "monkey vine", but I do know one of my friends is embarassed to be seen with me, out in public... I'm not, and I don't see why I should be... *shrug*. Must be that damned "discretion" code. So, how can I be a friend?

Well, these are the weird ass thoughts for my sleep, tonight... and for lately..

Oh... I'm healing up, thanks for all the people that had written me, concerned. You are all super sweet!


rm_tamashiihan 36M
7 posts
10/15/2005 7:35 am

Jealousy is something I've had lots of problems with in the past, and still feel pop up once in awhile. I found that a logical approach worked best for me. Whenever I felt jealous, I would look at the most obvious cause and ask myself, "Is it reasonable for me to feel jealous because of this?" Usually, the answer is "No, it's not reasonable to be jealous because my best friend oggled an asian guy that sat three benches in front of us on the bus". So then you go deeper and ask the less obvious questions, "Is it reasonable for me to feel jealous because she's finding someone else attractive and not me." Well, that's certainly MORE reasonable... But eventually, once you get down deep enough, you end up with things like, "Is it reasonable to feel jealous because I'm afraid she will forget about me if she finds someone better?" And while it may NOT be reasonable to ASSUME that she would forget about me if she finds someone 'better' than me, the fear of being alone and lonely is fairly universal.
Keep going in this fashion until you reach the true 'root' of your emotional response. Sometimes you make leaps from one topic to another that don't seem to make sense, but that's how brains work. ^_^

If you have been open, honest, and upfront with what you want (and you usually are, from what I know about yout), then there is nothing more you can do. Sometimes people just aren't ready for that type of relationship. All you can do is wish them the best and focus on the people who can accept you for who you are right now.

Now, time to rant. ^_^
Society has indoctrinated us with such foul, and false, ideas so as to weld sex and marriage into one entity. That's like taking a chicken and surgically attaching it to a pig.
It's an absurd concept, but when we hear over and over the principles of "No sex before marriage." then we start to believe absurdities.
Many of us have successfully detached sex from marriage in our brains, accepting the concept of "No strings sex", but it is harder to reimplement friendship into the equation because friendship is so similar to committed relationships. The only difference between a friend and a partner is the amount of sex you have together. (Well arguably the difference is the mutually agreed upon limitation of sex, so that sex only occurs with your partner.)
Again, I think it goes back to being 'ready' to accept certain types of relationships. Just as Neo had to accept being 'the one', we too must accept our proposed role in any relationship. If we can't accept it, we just can't be that person.
And again, there is nothing you can do except hope they come around sooner than later.

Hope this made sense. Jaa.

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