Rules of Courtship in the Fauna...  

Vevixen 51F
80 posts
2/15/2006 2:11 pm

Last Read:
4/3/2006 9:12 pm

Rules of Courtship in the Fauna...

Attracting a mate is a matter of survival in the animal kingdom and quite frankly, I had a feminist phase during which I thought I could live independently from my male counterpart, but a mean birthday lurking around the corner is placing things into perspective and I find myself longing for a lifetime companion.
So, understanding courtship proceedings seems to be our next order on the agenda.

I found it fascinating to read about animal behavior which is not unlike our own human conduct. Indeed, in the animal kingdom, females typically get to select their mate, either by listening to his cry, scrutinizing his multihued show or dance, examining his new nest, or accepting a gift.

Sounds familiar?

Whales for example, can be observed barking, moaning and chirping sometimes at a distance of 12 miles and for up to 23 hours! No Romeo has serenaded me in such an eloquent fashion. Nevertheless, the fantasy of a barefooted long- haired blue-eyed hippie writing a song for me is not unpleasant.

In the avian world, courtship feedings are widespread deeds that fortify the pair-bond between mated birds. Some male birds will present a morsel of food to the female at the nest site. Belgian chocolate, Baklava, or tiramisu or a bottle of Port will do just fine! In a attractive box, with a pretty bow.

The male Northern Cardinal offers seeds to its mate,inserting the seed in the female's bill. I will admit having fantasies of lying on a luxurious Roman divan being fed crunchy grapes by a hot looking Nero.

Other species such as the blue-footed booby draws mates with a fascinating dance whose purpose is to show off his bright blue feet . I’ve never dated a smurf, but lap- dancing will suit me just fine. Another admission,my most memorable and long- lived relationships were instigated on the dance floor. Salsa me, swing me, and I dissolve

Puffins’ beaks which are usually quite faded acquire bright beautiful shades during mating season. Yes, having a European background, I like a man who is a good dresser. It makes me feel exceptional. A man abhorring quality clothing is not only showing his net worth, but his partiality for the good things in life, as well as his sense of pragmatism. And the feet? I like feet, I like feet A LOT. Feet engulfed in good brand names shoes mean confidence, status, professionalism, sense of chic. Do not show up to a date with me with your sneakers unless you plan on making me sweat.

In the world of weaver birds, a female will inspect the nest that her potential mate just built, to assess whether he will qualify as a good provider. Build me a castle, and do not forget a harem full of eunuchs, baby! If this is out of your reach, taking me on a nice week end get-away to a remote Berber tent or a NY B&B will be a promising start!

Giving presents and sharing food are common ways that birds attract and bond with a partner. Many birds have to feed a nest full of chicks. That takes joint effort and bigheartedness. My ex was very high maintenance. I resented his cheap manners that were not so much the result of a precarious economical situation but his selfish way of prioritizing. Intelligent men do realize the direct equation between generosity and female gratitude, which in my case, I promise, will be beyond your wildest dream. Shower me with original artsy gifts, sensual gifts, funny gifts, non monetary gifts…and what I will shower you with is…well, that’s for another conversation.

As for the consistency of the dating pace ? I could not find any source of interest in the fauna, so I looked at dating etiquette and will share this recommendation with you:

"We( who the h…are they?) will take it for granted, then, that a gentleman has in one way or another become fascinated by a lady--possibly a recent acquaintance--whom he is most anxious to know. His heart already feels "the inwardly touch of love," and his most ardent wish is to have that love returned. At this point we venture to give him a word of serious advice. We urge him, before he ventures to take any step towards the pursuit of the woman, to consider well his position and prospects in life, and reflect whether they are such as to justify him in deliberately seeking to win the young lady's affections, with the view of making her his wife."

Hum, I guess that is what "Victorian decorum" means in the American culture…thanks Heaven I do not claim that tradition. I find Don Juan or even the Marquis de Sade quite more fascinating! So I will not expect you to commit emotionally on the first date, will give you some space,but will expect that your even considering courting me has to do with your secret confession of an interest that lays beyond my genitals. You want me for my intelligence, my generosity, my kindness, my sense of wit, my leadership qualities tempered by loving flexibility and incommensurable friendship and support. If you are truly interested, you will call me often, see me often. It’s a question of supply and demand. If there is shortage…I might switch to my plan B phone call…I am no Penelope. To be short: fuck me all you want, but do not fuck with my brain or my heart, and please do not insult my intelligence!

I have observed in nature as well as in real life a few deviant behaviors that I thought would be worth sharing….If nothing else, to make you feel better about your own oddities and give yourself permission to continue indulging. After all, you are not THAT weird!

Indeed, in the world of turtles, a female who perceives another female as dangerous competition will stretch its legs straight forward, extend her neck out as far as she can, and try to head butt/bite the other female's head. Your are perplexed? It's all about love and power! My stand on this interesting action? Well well, I would rather fondle the other female, kiss her sumptuous lips, slide my finger in her velvety pussy…, but when it comes to the matter of the heart, I have a very hard time sharing. I wish I didn't.

Here is another instructional visual for you. Many male gulls transport victuals to the nest site regurgitating a half-digested blend of fish at the feet of the females, who excitedly acknowledges the present. Yes, I must acknowledge a remote nightmarish date where my drunk date soiled the back of my car, and my brand new mini skirt…Was I enthralled?Not really, I have conveniently partially repressed this memory and his first name (?).

Australians have to do things differently. Platypuses have been observed chasing and circling the female and biting her tail. Now…that I would gladly try…No, really! Are you Australian?

When other methods of attracting a mate aren't victorious, some birds may remedy to fighting. This is especially true when males need to defend territory to attract a female.
Well, I am a pacifist, resent any type of violence,will always opt for the diplomatic approach. So Peace and love!

Instead of resorting to pugilism, try walking a cute friendly dog, carry a bag of something sweet with you, be diligent with your ablutions, exhude of designer aftershave, refrain talking about past sexual conducts or exploits, unless the subject is brought up and then your answers should denote great modesty (he, he) and honesty. If you really want to impress me, take me to see a foreign film and sit down in a nice coffee shop to reflect on the complexity of life and relationships ( Am I pushing?). Invite me over to your place and cook a fancy exotic dinner for me…On valentine’s day, set a cute little French cafĂ© table on the roof of an abandonned factory…with champaign, sushi, white chocolate mousse, strawberies and massage oils…Take me to a college lecture, a political rally, a drag queens show, an underground sandinist gathering, a glassblowing workshop, an antique sale, a craft festival, a renaissance fair, a controversial art gallery, a remote Jamaican nude beach in Negril…
And when I victoriously loose another pound...take me to a nice "lingerie boutique" where you'll buy me a cute French corset of white cotton lace...and one for yourself as well.

The sucking of my feet and feeding me calamares on a first date was not bad either!

"Oye Oye Bonnes Gens! This queen is awaiting her Dartagnan…"

Now ladies and gents…you tell ME what works and what doesn’t. Let’s establish together a list of the do’s and don’ts of “courtship”. Your assistance is highly appreciated.

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
2/15/2006 3:10 pm

This sounds effective

Don't take me to McDonalds on our first date.
Buy me flowers for everything!

Purry {=}


rm_luvpiano2 57M
367 posts
2/15/2006 5:34 pm

Thanks, Vevixen, you've increased my awareness of the rules of courtship in the fauna. I won't play with you brain, although, I'd love to serenade you.

angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
2/15/2006 7:02 pm

Don't offer to take me to dinner, and then start chatting online with some other chick!

rm_StephenG1 33M
25 posts
2/15/2006 9:20 pm

Very interesting! Ive been in multiple situations where a girl will go to a party/bar/club and end up leaving with someone else. Thats something at the top of my DONT list.

My idea of a proper courtship is presenting yourself as who you are, not who you think your possible mate wants you to be.
I dont think you have to take her to a super fancy restuarant,
a romantic evening by the beach/park can suffice.
Some guys dont use much sense in this department,
as burger king doesnt make for a very good first date.
Flowers are nice to present, but some women find this boring so its rarely a bad idea to use imagination in this department.
And i personally think serenading is a great old fashion way to show a woman how you feel, although many of the younger girls today find this corny and unnattractive.
i hope this adds a little insight to your list of do's and donts.

JatosAbideLorry 57M
60 posts
2/16/2006 5:06 am

Ya gotta love a post that references both the Odyssey and The Three Musketeers...

I think there are levels of courtship to consider...

There is the courtship driven by the "inwardly touch of love" where the goal is to fulfill the heart's desire with a "lifetime" companion.

I've found that there is another level of courtship more akin to agape than eros (although the nature of a lot of interations in this venue can somewhat blur the lines). For instance, I am actively reaching out to court new like minded friends within the lifestyle closer to where I live. I think by necessity the rules need to be different albeit parallel, since the goals are certainly distinct.

From where I sit, this certainly extends well beyond simple genital interest, but falls upon a different plain than true love, although True Friends would ideally also be a lifetime commitment.

Vevixen, do you have a similar for lack of a better phrase "instruction manual" for being courted as a friend?



Vevixen 51F
81 posts
2/16/2006 2:36 pm

PurryKitty...If I were a man I'd buy a beautiful light blue saphire ring to match your incredible eyes and would burry it in a bouquet of fresh lavender...

Vevixen 51F
81 posts
2/16/2006 2:43 pm

to goldmember: You are so right, not only does the human species prevail in the diversity and creativity of their sexual repertoire....but we have also been granted the incredible capacity to LOVE. If courtship is ludic, the real treasures lay in people's ability to care for one another....those are the treasures I will cherish the most! Thank you for your kind words.

Vevixen 51F
81 posts
2/16/2006 2:45 pm the moonlight, looking up at my balcony, dressed like Cyrano?

Vevixen 51F
81 posts
2/16/2006 2:50 pm

to angelofmercy: and yet it is soooooooo very common. Why do you think it is that that most men do not understand that some jealousy at times can be endearing!?

Vevixen 51F
81 posts
2/16/2006 3:04 pm

Stephen...I could not agree more. Honnesty is the first quality I seek in a partner! I have to admit that I am surprised that you have ran into women who find flowers boring! For me, they will always be full of sunshine. I love a man who gives me wild flowers he just picked... Just visualizing a grown man in a field romatically gathering a bouquet for his romantic is that! I agree that a restaurant does not have to be fancy, just intimate...and again, the spontaneous pic nic in odd places is even more fun....but make sure you come prepared with the right food: somethin spicy like guacamole that you will dipp out with your finger to feed her...then something gewy like smoked salmon...then something crunchy like fresh grapes...then something very sweet for desert...maybe a few chocolate truffles.

As for serenading....the only time it happened to me...the guy hooked up his base guitar to an amp at 1am in the morning ...although it was an outrageously romantic attempt at reconciliation...the neighbors did not take it to well!

Thanks for your insighful response!

Vevixen 51F
81 posts
2/16/2006 3:26 pm

Major: Hi there neighbor! Freeky...we got the same birthday. Lately, numbers have been playing an entertaining little dance for me...Happy birthday by the way! You seem to mirror my own is rough to find love in the lifestyle. I am currently writing a piece on that specific subject...but it needs a lot of refinement before I can post it. The rules of courtship are totally different with swingers, I am myself currently learning it at the cost of a slightly wounded ego...but as long as the "phileo" lays in both your eros and shall be fine...

As for the vademecum of the "phileo"...that is a great idea for an upcoming post, although my sarcastic sense of humor might come in the way of a genuine heartfelt recommendation. Maybe YOU should write it.

Thanks for sharing...and share more!

lukepiron 38M

2/17/2006 5:38 am

I believe as Vevixen mentioned in the top post that the Male just as in the other mentioned species must determine what it is that the particular female is after, be it a song, a dance, or a gift. Sometimes the first date is really about seeing what that female really wants, someplace with no distractions is best for

Vevixen 51F
81 posts
2/17/2006 10:01 am

Luke: You are wise despise your young age...Listening is a quality most appreciated by women. I never could figure out how my ex-husband needed a "list" for my birthday....I would, months ahead, drops hints by the shovel!
Being a genuine and patient listener will grant you female's respect and friendship...

redmustang91 58M  
8917 posts
2/19/2006 9:44 am

Very entertaining, if not entirely applicable to the quests here on AdultFriendFinder. Anyone one can use "exhude" properly in a sentence gets my advanced vocab respect. The brain is the biggest sex organ, so using some wit and intelligence in courtship is always appreciated. The odds of a dalliance turning into a lifetime commitment and "soulmate" situation are always low, but not impossible. Listening to each other is good, but sometimes the deeper longings are not expressed in words...

Vevixen 51F
81 posts
2/19/2006 2:55 pm

I'd love to see what your brain's erection looks line hun!

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