Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can  

rm_TwoMuchPhun 58M/59F
24 posts
11/6/2005 4:28 am

Last Read:
10/5/2006 2:54 pm

Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mood: Helpful


{{{ As part of a series of thoughts and observations on how A dubF seems to work, and deals obliquely with the creation of The Pique here in New Hampshire. I hope this helps. I live to serve .}}}

In light of my recent discovery of where My World... and Welcum to it! seems to reside, I wasted yet more of my Sunday afternoon online, chasing down some facts and figures.

While the figures aren’t of the sort to make L’il Elvis bust out in a rousing rendition of Hound Dog, they are reassuring in that whatever the phook I’m doing here seems to be doing, well… something! Sure wish somebody’d tell me- I’m just humming a few bars and faking it as I go along!

I’m not sniveling about my standings in Blog World, not at all! I am gratified and honored to be placed as highly in the lists as I am… it is further proof that there’s just no accounting for some people’s taste!

My numbers won’t get me into The Guinness Book of World Records, hell, you could drop ‘em in a pint glass of freshly drawn Guinness Stout without displacing too much foam! (Good thing, too- that would be one of the worst manifestations of alcohol abuse!)

In descending order, at the time of this writing: My World is the 137th most popular Blog on Earth, in my birth state of Pennsylvania it ranks Number 4, and in my natal city of Philly estan Numero Uno! iMuy bueno! Not too bad for a kid from the sticks… although I am going to have to invest in some new chapeaus, I fear…

With this post’s title firmly in mind, I am here as a moderately successfully scribbler of Blogs to help the Neophyte Blogpoles find themselves in the rarefied atmosphere of the Blogging greats. As always: I hope that this helps, I live to serve.

Not that I’m exactly in need of bottled air myself. I’m just in the foothills, and the Tetons beckon… as do the mountains. I’ve been blessed with a few visits from several of the heavy hitters (In no particular order- Barbiebunny69, wyvernrose, DefiniteTrouble, [blog mzhunyhole], [blog saintlianna] & playfulwithyou33 {If I missed anybody, my apologies! Let me know and I'll be happy to amend it.}), and am very grateful for their interest as this new-born colt of a Blog wobbles upright on it’s trembling legs.

In truth, a few friends that I chat with frequently all have numbers that are all doing considerably more impressively than mine, leaving me feeling kinda like that special kid brother, tagging along behind, with the occasional whining, “Whatcha doin‘, guys?” (All of which is doubly awkward, as I’m the old phart of the bunch…

So, are we ready, Class? You’re about to get everything you need to create your Blog, right here, right now. The kit is all inclusive, although some assembly is required, as is some work, research, imagination, ass sweat, No-Doz, anti-psychotic meds, and some caffeine probably wouldn’t hurt, either.

First: Name your Baby Blog- No one can help you here. This is the first view the Blogging Cosmos will have of your efforts, and hits will initially depend on this salient tidbit.

While it should be reflective of who you are, if your main interest is fucking fresh road kill when the ambient temperature ranges between 63 and 88 degrees Fahrenheit, you might consider easing into that, at least as your topic.

You can leave it titled, My Blog, but be warned- there is only one Blog with that title in the top 100, however she is a probably hot, 31 y/o British chick (Can‘t say, her page took too long to load), so use that approach with caution- the bottom of the list is brimming over with that name.

Second: Your Introduction- You’ve got a visitor. Hooray! It’s time to stick it out, and then shake hands! A brief, or not so brief description of what you hope to accomplish with your Blog. Don’t waste too much time here, most folx don’t bother reading them anyway (So it‘s an ideal place to express your interest in pulverized animal necrophilia)

Third: A Catchy Title- (Ignore the blasé one on the matchbook cover that brought you here). Beyond the body of your text, this is The Money Shot. Your Blog Title caught their eye, the Post’s Title’s job is to hook the reader in the nose, a la Moe Howard, and yank them forward into a read. Puns, Word Play, Casual Swearing, and/or Sex Acts are all eye, umm, Nose catchers.

Fourth: The Money Shot- A picture speaks a thousand words, so a good pic can lighten your typing load incredibly, especially if on a good day you use only 5 fingers and one thumb. It should be representative of your article, or even your noun.

(Please refer to other Blog postings herein. This post is huge enough, w/o cutting the column width by 25%!)

Fifth: The Money Shot, part deux- Now, it gets difficult! Beyond providing you with all the supplies you’ll need to write your entry, the rest is up to you. The old writer’s standby, “Write what you know” is perfectly applicable here. What if you don’t know much, or aren’t terribly observant?

This is a place that caters to fantasy (Obviously!!, I still believe I might get laid through A dubF!), so let your imagination go wild! Ramble and roam, rave and rant. Nothing's off-limits, (at least if you decide to ignore the patriot act) so cut loose!

You might just want to just ponder a moment before hitting that “Post” button: a month or so ago, I stumbled into a Blog that was looking for opinions on bestiality.

OK, dead critters is one thing, but the first respondent was a guy who really loved his dog. advocating a radical reappraisal of the whole Man‘s Best Friend concept...

By the time I found this particular posting, the Blog owner was damn near in tears, backpedaling like Lance Armstrong facing in the wrong direction on his bike, howls of disgust and consternation all over the place, and the advocate of Puppy Love had (Huh!!!) surprisingly closed his profile, and vanished! (FYI to all other more traditional dog lovers- he was a Kiwi… What the hell's so wrong with all the sheep they have in New Zealand?!!)

Alrighty. The Blog’s in your court. Everything you need to turn your vision into a cyber-reality is now in your hands. Best of Good Luck, and don’t forget- COPY, not Cut and Paste. No refunds for squandered symbols!

Here's your kit, some assembly required:


A a B b C c D d E e F f G g H h I i J j K k L l M m N n O o P p Q q R r S s T t U u V v W w X x Y y Z z 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 ! @ # $ % ^ & * ( ) _ + = - [ ] { } , . / ? > < ; : ' " [ i ] [ / i ] [ b ] [ / b ] [colorX] [/ color] [sizeX] [/ size]

Good luck, and give 'em heck!

neotrio 42M/39F
1213 posts
11/7/2005 12:14 am

just as funny the second time around.

rm_TwoMuchPhun 58M/59F
29 posts
11/7/2005 2:46 pm

Thanx, Doll! And you get cuter with every subsequent view!!!

Become a member to create a blog