I need a title - Lisa Marie can sing - No Chocolate = Sex  

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6/4/2006 7:51 am

Last Read:
6/9/2006 3:53 am

I need a title - Lisa Marie can sing - No Chocolate = Sex

I didn’t know that Lisa Marie Presley could really sing. I heard her do “Dirty Laundry” and I was impressed, still like Don Henley’s version best, but Lisa was impressive. I checked my email and it reminded me of those messaging machine with the big red 0 on the screen. Checked my blog and no comments. I went to the chat room and actually found something to talk about my children and how much they cost. Parent to parent talking about our offspring. It’s good to vent. I woke up with my usual hard on but not horny. Someone call 911, something wrong. I have to check my blood sugar to verify that I’m ok. Blood sugar was fine, my hard on proved that. If my blood sugar is high, I can’t get a hard on.

A cookie a candy bar can knock me out of having sex. I’ve got some serious choices ahead. I love cookies, I love sex. I’ll eat a cookie, won’t eat pussy. I’ll have sex with a woman but won’t have sex with a cookie, not in the traditional sense. No more Mike’s Hard Lemonade, it lowers my blood sugar, don’t know what effect it has on my penis, but I’m speculating that passing out would render it useless. I saw a photo of me this week and I swore I was looking at Barney. I had the goofiest look on my face, thanks to the magic of digital photography, poof it’s gone. I did see a need to lose weight and build a little muscle so that when I do have sex again, I would look “Marvelous.”

Last week I was supposed to do something different and maybe challenging. I didn’t do anything. I came close, twice. I was going to Brunswick with the boys, I will be doing that this week and yesterday me and the future ex were going to see Aretha Franklin sing, they turned it into a girl thing so I got to stay home and I chilled. Problem is I chill too much now. I hate Saturdays because I have to have a plan for the day. Get up and get out or it’s too late. Can’t get my hair cut on Sunday or car worked on Sunday so Saturday is jump day and I hate no flexibility.

The weekdays are impossible because I’m gone from 6am to 7pm every day. So Saturday is crunch day. I hate that, forcing everything into one day. Back to reality, breakfast, minding the kids and doing something positive.

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