A little humor found on another discussion board ...  

Tirpseh 53M
3 posts
9/23/2005 8:20 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A little humor found on another discussion board ...


You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied,
"I don't know son, I'm still paying."

Young son:
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
"That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage,
men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.

First guy:
"My wife's an angel!"
Second guy:
"You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with
a bald head and a beer gut,
and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop
with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
When the bus arrives,
they find it overloaded and
only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
After a while,
the husband gets irritated by the
ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk,
and says to him,
"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick?
That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies,
"If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick,
we'd be riding the bus, so shut up

And one more that I can't remember where I got it ... might have been on another blog on this site so if you recognize it, let me know and I'll give credit!

A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that a
rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello
to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to
him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from,
so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies, "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be
the father of one of my children."
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been
"Holy crap," he says, "Are you that stripper from my bachelor
party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends
while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a
cucumber up my a**?"

"No," she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher.

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